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G2009 Radio Play - Act One
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS. Act One. Late that night atop the Eyrie Building…
Dominique and Kafka sit. GOLIATH and ELISA MAZA STAND and KISS.
5. GOLIATH, ELISA
There are some human customs I will never get used to Elisa. <kisses her again> This is not one of them.
You're in a good mood.
I am. Hudson and Lexington are back from Europe, bringing Coldstone and Coldfire with them.
<chuckle> Not to mention Brooklyn returning from forty years of TimeDancing with a mate, a son, a beast and an egg.
The clan has doubled in size. What challenge can the Fates throw at us now that we cannot—
The sun rises. Goliath turns to stone.
<groan> You just had to say that out loud, didn't you?
Elisa and Goliath sit. MAY PARKER and PETER PARKER STAND.
Meanwhile, in Forest Hills…
Peter, what are you doing up?
Studying for today's English final. It's on Midsummer Night's Dream. And I missed seeing the Cliff Notes version.
Which may explain why you and Miss Allan are no longer a couple.
Aunt May, you know we didn't break up because I missed her play.
You're right; I shouldn't be glib. I suppose there's no chance that you and Gwen…
I don't know. Not now anyway. Not when Harry's hurting so much from the death of his father.
It hardly seems possible that Norman Osborn is gone. The Bugle says he was the Green Goblin, but I'm not sure I can believe that.
Sometimes, Aunt May… it's, okay, to believe everything you read…
May and Peter sit. GREEN GOBLIN and BLACKIE GAXTON STAND.
At a dive bar downtown, the Green Goblin BURSTS in on his glider…
23. GREEN GOBLIN
<tsk, tsk, tsk> Blackie. This place is scummy even by your pond-scum standards. Quite a comedown from your last gig…
Tell that to the whacko who set a flaming super-villain loose in The Big Sky. Oh, wait. That was you.
25. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes. Yes, it was. <maniacal laugh>
Weren't you supposed to be dead?
27. GREEN GOBLIN
I was also supposed to be Osborn, but you didn't buy that, did you? Just one of the many little tricks I keep up my sleeve. Nothing's changed, Blackie. The Goblin's still in charge.
You hear me arguing?
29. GREEN GOBLIN
No. Now, gather my Pumpkin-Heads…
Blackie and Goblin sit. Kafka and Dominique STAND.
At Ravencroft, Dominique Destine and Dr. Kafka supervises six inmates who work to excavate a sub-basement.
I still don't understand what you expect to find down here.
Vertros Ravencroft, the founder of this Institute, was a quirky soul. An intimate friend of Freud and Conan Doyle, he was a true believer in both psychotherapy and spiritualism.
You speak as if you knew him.
Now how would that be possible?
It couldn't, of course… But the dig?
Yes. Ravencroft was also a collector. I have reason to believe he buried certain items of his collection here. Now, Doctor, didn't you say you had meetings scheduled…
You'll be all right down here alone?
Your orderlies are in the hallway. And I'm quite self-sufficient. So run along.
Kafka sits. OTTO OCTAVIUS STANDS.
Excellent work, Doctor Octavius. Very precise.
Thank you. I appreciate having something to occupy my hands…
Your hands? Not… your arms?
Arms? I… I hope you're not referring to my unfortunate… b-b-breakdown.
What would be the point? Believe me, Doctor, no one better understands the advantage of creating a false front.
I've blasted away another section of cement.
Thank you, Maxwell.
Don't. Call. Me. That.
Don't. Tell. Me. What to do… Electro.
(asides to Otto)
She's a little scary.
Otto and Electro sit. DOMINIC DRACON, JOHN JAMESON, EDDIE BROCK and CLETUS KASSADY STAND.
I blame Mace. When that crook cheated me, I lost face. But when I get the jewels back, they'll respect me again. Did Mace bury the jewels here?
Maybe he did, Dominic. Keep working.
What's the point? How is tearing up a basement supposed to bring me Colonel Jupiter's power?!
Shut up and dig.
You like doing this?!
I hate it. But I need that hate. I need to keep the hate alive.
Such an interesting crew. And what do you want out of life, Cletus…
Nothing too fancy. <chuckles> Just a little carnage.
Cletus, Dominique, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. GWEN STACY and Peter STAND.
That afternoon, at Midtown High…
Hey, Pete. How'd you do?
Ugh, horrible, probably. I mean you know English is like my worst subject. It's all so subjective and—
Okay, okay… not the look! I probably aced it. Happy?
That you did well. Always.
Thanks. Look, Gwen, I--
HARRY OSBORN STANDS.
Well, what have we here? My best friend and girlfriend conferring in a corner. Planning a surprise party for me?
Uh, it's not your birthday, Harr.
I thought maybe it was a thank you bash. For giving you both these…
"You are cordially invited to spend Spring Break traveling by private jet to Miami, where you'll stay, all-expenses-paid, at the Osborn Winter Compound on the Beach…"
You're inviting the three of us to spend a week together in Florida?
Not just the three of us…
KENNY KONG, FLASH THOMPSON and MARY JANE WATSON stand.
Osborn, dude! You rock!
Seven days in the sun and surf.
All you can eat!
Girls in bikinis!
75. FLASH, KONG (UNISON)
76. MARY JANE
Hi, Sha Shan. Hi, Glory.
Sha Shan… uh… So… how much of that did you hear?
Look, Glory, you know I meant you, right? I mean who else would I want to see in a bikini. Uh, you're not gonna break up with me again, are you?
Kong and Flash sit. SALLY AVRIL, RAND ROBERTSON, LIZ ALLAN and JASON IONELLO STAND.
Oh. My. God. Harry, I just found the invitation in my locker. And all I have to say is that you can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy anytime you want!
You okay with that Rand?
'Scool. You can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy too.
Exactly how many people did you invite to this thing?
A handful. Kenny and Glory. Flash and Sha Shan. Rand and Sally. Hobie and Mindy. M.J. Gwen. Oh, and you and Liz, of course.
Harry… Liz and Peter broke up.
You did?! Wow. I had no idea. Guess I've just been so focused on my own problems. My Dad dying and everything. That's why I need this trip. Gotta clear my head, you know? But maybe you two could reconcile…
I don't think so!
It's too late for that Harry. I'm with Jason now. We totally fell in love doing the play together.
89. SALLY / LIZ (UNISON)
Yes, you did. / Yes, we did.
You don't mind if I bring Jason instead of Petey, do you.
The more the merrier.
Thanks, Harry. You're a doll. Kisses!
Liz, Sally, Jason and Rand sit.
Pete, you're still invited too. Course, it's more of a couple's thing. But M.J.'s guy is in prison…
94. MARY JANE
Thank you, Harry. Hadn't been reminded of that in the last five minutes.
Sorry, sorry. It's just that I can't help remembering the Fall Formal. You two made such a great pair! Don't you think so, Gwen?
I… suppose we could go… as friends. Just as friends.
98. MARY JANE
We'll talk later, Tiger.
Mary Jane, Peter, Gwen and Harry sit. Kafka and CURT CONNORS STAND.
Late that afternoon in Dr. Kafka's office…
Doctor Connors, it's good to see you. I'd heard you moved to Florida.
I did. But I never stopped working on a cure for Max Dillon. I think I've made some real progress.
That's wonderful news. Max is downstairs… doing "work-therapy". I'll take you to him…
Kafka and Curt sit. Otto, Dominique, Electro, Dracon, John, Eddie and Cletus STAND.
Ms. Destine. I think I found something.
Is it my jewels?
It… it appears to be a spearhead. It looks quite old.
Give it to me.
Yes. This is it. I think we're done, boys.
Indeed. And just as the dig brought us right up against Ravencroft's outer wall.
You mean this wall?!
Electro blasts a huge hole in the wall. When the smoke clears, the Vulture is waiting. He grabs Octavius.
You're coming with me, Otto.
No, no, stop. I don't want this life anymore… I'm trying to get better!! Let me go!!
Shut it, Doc! It's for your own good!
Otto, Electro and Vulture sit.
Vulture and Electro leave with Octavius. Dominique watches them go.
Well, that was diverting. And such excellent timing as well: it's sunset. <transformation scream>
With the setting of the sun, Dominique Destine transforms into a gargoyle… just as Kafka and Connors enter…
Kafka and Curt STAND.
119. KAFKA / CURT
Oh my god… / What in the world?!
Demona effortlessly slams them both against a wall and turns to the remaining inmates…
121. CURT, KAFKA
Listen carefully, humans. For I have listened to you. I can make all your petty little dreams come true. Dominic demands respect.
John craves power.
Eddie needs hate.
And all Cletus desires is a little carnage.
Or a lot. I'm not picky.
Then stick with me, boys. Respect, power, hatred, carnage. These are things I know…
DEMONA, Cletus, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. ALAN O'NEIL and GEORGE STACY STAND.
Later, the police arrive to investigate…
And you never met this broad before in your life…
She had excellent references, Officer O'Neil. It's not like I grant just anyone access to my patients…
And you wonder why people think they belong at Rykers.
There's nothing else you can tell me, Doctor?
I'm sorry, Captain Stacy, but no. It was a creature.
Like that Lizard-thing from last fall?
No! No. Nothing like that. More like… like those things on the news that blew up the clock tower.
You mean the 23rd Precinct.
You're saying a gargoyle kidnapped those men.
Yes. No. I don't know. Can I leave now?
George, O'Neil and Kafka sit. DILBERT TRILBY and NED LEE stand.
Doctor Connors! Dilbert Trilby, Action News. What can you tell our audience about the escape?
Nothing. No comment.
Hey, Doc. Remember me? Ned Lee from The Bugle. Can you just tell me who escaped? Doc Ock? Electro? Colonel Jupiter – I mean, Colonel Jameson?
I'm sure the police will issue a statement. Now, I have to go.
Trilby sits. CALYPSO EZILI, KRAVEN THE HUNTER and GULYADKIN STAND.
Connors hurries away down the street, as a limousine with dark-tinted windows pulls up in front of Ravencroft.
We are too late, my love. The Christian Totem is gone.
Gulyadkin and I will track it for you.
<low lion growl>
I'm afraid that is beyond even your impressive abilities, Sergei, my love. But I have my own ways, as you well know…
Of course, Calypso.
Who is that? That man trying to hail a cab?
He is a stranger to my eyes. Yet his scent is familiar.
His aura glows with primal energies and may be of use to us.
You need a ride.
What? No. No, thank you. I'll get a cab.
She wasn't asking.
Kraven drags Connors into the limo, which quickly drives away…
Curt, Kraven, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit.
Hello, Robbie? I've got something.
J. JONAH JAMESON, JOE "ROBBIE" ROBERTSON and FREDERICK FOSWELL STAND.
Is that Lee? Put him on speaker.
Now, Jonah, stay calm…
Don't you tell me to stay calm, Joe Robertson. It's not your son at risk. Lee, you there?! I'll give you exactly three-point-seven seconds to tell me John's all right!
Wish I could, Chief. But he disappeared with the rest. There are six inma— uh, patients missing. It's not clear if they busted out or were kidnapped.
Well, of course John was kidnapped. You think my son would--
Ned, give me the whole list.
Who cares about the list—
It could provide a lead to John.
Doc Ock. Electro. John. Uh… let's see. Edward Brock Jr., Cletus Kasady and Dominic Dracon.
Dominic Dracon? The old mob boss? There's a name I haven't heard in a while.
Foswell, you know that world! Find out where Dracon might have gone!
You got it, J.J.
Lee, you stick to the damn super-villain angle! Ock, Electro. What's their next move?!
Robbie, I want every available man on this. No, damnit, I want every man, woman and child on this, available or not. Call Parker. Put Benny the copyboy on it. But Ms. Brant on it. I want John Jameson safely back in his mother's arms in six-point… six-point…
It's okay, Jonah. We're on it.
Good. Good. I'll… I'll hit the streets myself. I'm still the best damn reporter in New York City! Just have to make a call first. Well, what are you all waiting for, get out! Out!
Robbie, Ned and Foswell sit.
179. JONAH (CONT)
Hello, is this WVRN? Travis Marshall, please. Travis? It's Jonah. I got a lead for you on the Ravencroft thing.
Whaddayou care why I'm helping the competition?! I know I hate television! You don't have to tell me that! I'm not trying to sandbag you, damnit, I… I'm just trying to find my son… any way I can.
Jonah sits. SPIDER-MAN STANDS.
That night finds Spider-Man swinging through the city…
181. PETER (VO)
If I didn't know better, I'd think Harry was trying to torture me and Gwen. Then again, M.J. is quite the consolation prize. Ah, man, what am I saying? I'm in love with Gwen. Gwen. Gwendolyn Stacy. Just have to get through the next few weeks and then Harry'll be in a better place, and she and I--
Pete's ringtone plays Itsy-Bitsy Spider.
Pete. Joe Robertson. There's been an incident at Ravencroft.
Uh huh… uh huh… Wait, who's missing? Uh oh. Him too? Oh, crap. Sorry, I mean-- What?! Seriously?! Uh, right. Yeah, I'll keep my eyes open. Camera lens at the ready. Thanks for the heads up. Bye.
Whoa. At least this day can't get any worse!
SMUGGLER #1 stands.
186. SMUGGLER #1
What the hell are those things?!
When am I gonna learn not to say that out loud?
Spidey swings down to find two men in a van being attacked by two gargoyles, Obsidiana and Zafiro…
ZAFIRO and OBSIDIANA STAND.
Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but this lady-esque-blue-creature-thing matches the description of another lady-esque-blue-creature-thing who just busted some folks out of Raven—
What is he babbling about?
I have no idea. I sense no connection between him and the source of the disturbance. But these two…
192. SMUGGLER #1
Keep her away from us!!
You see, now I'm on the horns of a dilemma… Uh, no offense. It's just an expression; I wasn't referring to your rather striking… Never mind. See in this particular Spider-Man's experience, when genetic misfits attack ordinary human beings, I'm gonna have to side with the humans.
Qué sorpresa. A human with no knowledge of the situation leaping to defend one of his own.
Zafiro attacks Spidey.
196. ZAFIRO, SPIDER-MAN
<ad lib battle efforts, impacts>
Obsidiana rips open the top of the van.
199. SMUGGLER #1
The two humans open fire on her, forcing her to leap away… The van peels out. Obsidiana tries to follow, but Spidey webs her wings together.
Smuggler #1 sits.
Por favor! You don't understand the powers that are gathering!!
And you're the one doing the Gathering, I take it!
Zafiro slams Spidey into a wall. By the time the web-slinger recovers, the gargoyles are gone…
Zafiro and Obsidiana sit.
<groan> For a guy with no legs, that snake-thing can move…
Spider-Man sits. George and MARIA CHAVEZ STAND.
Not far away…
Captain Stacy. What brings you to what's left of the 23rd?
It's the Ravencroft thing. I've got corroborating witnesses telling me a gargoyle was involved.
<sigh> I miss the days when being a cop didn't involve a working knowledge of The Twilight Zone.
Welcome to the Freak Show.
Anyway, as it happens, the Gargoyle Taskforce is meeting right now. First trailer on the right. Ask for Bluestone.
Chavez sits. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN MORGAN, MARGOT YALE and Elisa STAND.
And that's all I know…
Well, that is interesting, or, you know… really, really scary.
I'll say, Detective. With or without a gargoyle, I've heard Ock and Electro are bad news. And that Cletus Kasady: he killed five people before--
Forget Kasady. Any idiot can bring a serial killer down. It's the gargoyle we should be concerned with. It's what I've been saying all along! Those monsters are dangerous!
I think what A.D.A. Yale is saying, Captain, is that the Taskforce is on it. We'll let you know if we hear anything. And we'll be checking in with all our sources, won't we, Detective?
Elisa, Matt, Margot, Morgan and George sit. Smuggler #1 and Demona STAND.
Meanwhile, a van with a torn up roof pulls up to a Gramercy Park Mansion… The driver speaks into the intercom…
223. SMUGGLER #1
Longinus sent me.
Leave the package. Then take your money and go. While you still can.
225. SMUGGLER #1
Geez, who lives here? Dracula's daughter?
Smuggler #1 sits. Eddie, John and Cletus STAND.
Demona collects her package.
The old guy's asleep. What's that?
A simple wooden shaft. The prize of Adolph Hitler's personal collection. After his… demise, his remaining followers smuggled it to Brazil. I paid handsomely to have it smuggled to me.
Why? I mean sure, it's the shaft of a spear. Completes the set with that arrowhead you took from Ravencroft. But why do we care?
Demona joins the spear and spearhead together. Instantly, it radiates incredible power.
The Holy Lance. The Spear of Destiny. The weapon that pierced the side of the Christ. Do you still want power, John? This is power.
Give it to me. Give it!
No. This power is mine. But I will use it to give you back your own…
She points the Spear at John Jameson. The magic surrounds him and transforms him into Colonel Jupiter!
236. COLONEL JUPITER
<transformation scream> Yes! The power is mine! I am Colonel Jupiter!
For what that's worth… Now for Eddie.
Extremely. We are Venom again.
And what about you, Cletus?
(pointing at Venom)
I'll have what he's having…
As you wish… Carnage.
All right, Demona. You're the Mirror Universe Wizard of Oz. But what now?
Mine is the Power. But I still require the Kingdom and the Glory. This is only the first act, humans… or whatever you are now. The main event is still to come…
Demona, VENOM, CARNAGE and COLONEL JUPITER sit.
END ACT ONE
TOMORROW: ACT TWO...