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The Phoenix Gate

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RESPONSES 2001-11 (Nov)

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

They can see well enough since their TV is allways on.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Kelly L Creighton/Kya White Sapphire writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

42.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lynati writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

(...why does everyone automatically think Fang is going to have a chance to ask *Goliath* this again?)

(Fang voice:)"How many Gargoyles does it take to change a lightbulb? ...None! They don't have time to change lighbulbs! They are too busy out harassing innocent citizens who are just minding their own business and locking them up in drafty Frankenstein cells! With no TV! HEY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU! ...ya creep..."

Greg responds...

chuckling

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Revel writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

*Goliath blinks unphased*

"First you have to figure out how to get the old one out."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 10, because their so darn stupid!

(Hey, it's Fang we are talking about here)

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

My last post had nothing to do with Noel Leas' post. Purely original on my part. It seemed weird that we both thought of the same basic answer within 5 minutes though.

Greg responds...

Yep. I figured.

But incidentally, if the winner comes down to two similar answers, I'm going to chose the one that posted first, even if it was just by a second.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "None. I can see fine in the dark. How about you?" *POW!*

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Noel Leas writes...

Hey, Greg!

Long time, no post! I've got an idea for that contest:

Subject: LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Gargoyles can see well enough in the dark. ;)

Noel L.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Thomas Edison would be rolling in his grave had he heard you ask that."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Florescent or regular?"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Silly mutate, lightbulbs are for humans."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"

"Screwing lightbulbs?! What sorcery is THIS??!!"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

None. By the time they got it screwed in, they'd all be stone when they need to turn it off.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

It would take all of them to catch Bronx first, who would think the lightbulb was a chew toy and later try to bury it.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

If it takes more than one gargoyle then we should be asking, "How many lightbulbs does it take to piss them all off before they rip the socket out of the ceiling?"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

If it's the lightbulb that powers the clocktower, that's got to be ONE...HUGE...lightbulb.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lady Mystic writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

**slight pause**

"Give up? None. With eyes like those who needs bulbs!" **chuckles** "Ahh, I crack myself up."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but he would need a human to buy the lightbulb or steal it from the stockroom in the police station

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three-

One to say, "What would you want with a lightbulb? You've got shiny eyes,"
One to whine about turning the lightbulb into a planter,
And one and a starfleet to actually change it.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Gargoyles do not screw in lightbulbs, they ROAR!!!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five--

A fat one to eat the original bulb,
A lanky red one to criticice the fat one's eating habits,
A large purple one to flare his eyes for light while the bulb is being changed,
A small green one to actually do the changing,
And an old brown one to yell, "SORCERY!" when the new bulb turns on.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

how many gargoyles??? i asked Anubis, he said:

"the lightbulb has died, let it rest. ultraviolet or standard, 55 or 100 watt, all light bulb are equal in death. burning out is the ultimate fairness..."

Greg responds...

ahhhhh

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Demoness writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

Five

One to figure out what is wrong with the lightbulb.
One to go get a new one 'without' breaking it again.
One to figure out how to take out the bad one.
One to figure out how to put in the good one.
and One to put in the good one.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Guardian/Carole writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Four. Lex has to determine which tool to use, Broadway has to complain about how long he hasn't eaten, Brooklyn has to do it with so much flair he fails, and finally Angela screws it in.

Just thought I'd take a stab at it . . . Yeah-kay. Biyo!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many Gargoyles?

Just one, as soon as you get the good Dr. Sevarius to replace those clumsy gargoyle's hands with some Lightbulb friendly human ones.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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DragonWolf writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to berate themselves for not protecting the old one from burning out."

Greg responds...

a smile, a palpable smile, I do confess it.

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Blaise writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb."

Well, you just need one to intimidate the human into doing it.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Aris Katsaris writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST (and I consider this all one entry btw :-)

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm home right now and the answer is in my office. Ask again later.

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: Your assumptions are incorrect.

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm not that big in quantifying things. Lots, I guess.

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightblub?"
Greg responds: What's a lightblub?

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: All things are true.

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I wouldn't want to tie down my hands and the hands of the artists in this respect.

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: The world may never know. :-)

Greg responds...

Okay, this made me laugh. Not sure how to get this into Fang's mouth, but in the meantime...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang> Hey, yo Goliath! How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb, huh?

Goliath> I give up, how many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fang> About as many as the number of light bulbs that can be screwed into a gargoyle!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang> Hey, yo Goliath. How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb, huh?

Goliath> I'm not sure Fang, but it only takes one to screw an annoying, bug zapping mutate into the wall to provide illumination.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Goliath JD - Jack Donovan writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Two - but how can they fit inside a lightbulb?"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Josh Wurzel writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. A gargoyle can no more stop guarding the castle than stop breathing the air. And changing lightbulbs does NOT count as "protecting the castle", Xanatos!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Greg Bishansky writes...

"LIGHTBULB CONTEST"

How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause only the short one could figure out how a lightbulb works.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Demoness writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

Four!

One to screw it in and three more to hold off the Quarrymen!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Demoness writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

None! They are all stoned!!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Vashkoda writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

None. Whoever has the Phoenix Gate will go back in time and make sure the light bulb doesn't go out.

Greg responds...

TFP

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Vashkoda writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

None, they only screw criminals.

Greg responds...

TFP.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Vashkoda writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

Are you kidding? They won't even change their loincloths!

Greg responds...

Uh... ewwww.

Anyway, it goes in the contest file until I can finally get through September and judge all the entries.

Thanks for playing.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

if a female gargoyle not living or having ever had lived on Avalon happened to have 4 biological children, would you say it was more likely that she either had twins born from one egg, or was able to lay an egg for an extra season as her female rookery siblings? in short, whats more likely, 4 eggs or 3 with one egg being twins?

Greg responds...

Neither, really. Though I guess the twin scenario, barely.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Entity writes...

You've revealed that Luna, Phoebe, and Selene represent three different 'motivations.' You said these motivations are Fate, Revenge, and Compassion (it's fairly obvious from the show what Phoebe stands for, and you've said yourself in previous ASK GREG responses that Phoebe is "the nice one").

So, why do the Sisters harbor these three agendas of all agendas? If the answer is somewhere along the lines of what The Phoenix Gate's origin is (i.e. only the Timestream, or God, knows), then what were your behind-the-scenes reasons?

Greg responds...

This is more an issue of feel than logic to me, which may be disappointing.

But I feel like these three 'agendas' as you call them strike a balance.

Do we take action or does action take us?

Do we seek redress or offer mercy?

Can we comprehend the universe?

It just works for me.

And, hell, since I've all but revealed it anyway.

When Luna is ascendent the Sisters are the Fates or Norns (or any similar threesome).

When Seline is ascendent the Sisters are the Furies (or any similar threesome).

When Phoebe is ascendent the Sisters are the Graces (or any similar threesome).

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Oberon writes...

You've said before that the Weird Sisters are conflicting forces stuggling for supremacy so were the forces, Good (Pheobe), Evil (Selene) and Neutrality (Luna) (i think i got their names right)? These seem to reflect in their individual personalities.

Also, you said that the Sisters three personality traits showed that thet'de be playing different parts in the series.

Greg responds...

No. Phoebe isn't "good". And Seline isn't 'evil'. And Luna is far from 'neutral'.

You're attaching value judgments to their traits.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Galvatron writes...

Are the weird sisters the Horare? Hesperides? Fates? Norns? Morrigan?Harpies?Graces?

Todd, could you delete that last post since I forgot to put my name on it?

Greg responds...

deja vu

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Are the weird sisters the Horare? Hesperides? Fates? Norns? Morrigan?Harpies?Graces?

Greg responds...

I think I've answered this.

They are the Fates/Norns and the Furies and a third thing that I've chosen not to reveal at this time.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Vashkoda writes...

You've said that the timeline is "'done' for now" and that the last date you have listed is in 2198. Because I would assume that the liberation of Earth is a big event that you would have planned and included in your timeline, does this mean that the invasion lasts less than a year? (because it started already in March 2198)

Greg responds...

No. It just means that I haven't yet decided how long it takes before the liberation occurs. It's certainly longer than one year. Beyond 2198 or so things are quite vague in my head... The only things that I know happen after liberation is the formation of the Liberty and Notre Dame Clans.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jacob writes...

Like you, I'm not a biologist, but this thing about a garg's wings bug me. You said that there are bones inside the wings, though you were not sure. But if there are some, then they can't be like the ones inside the arms or legs. Just watch one episode and you should notice what I mean. To fold them over the shoulders with only two large bones, they must be made of rubber, but that seems pretty unlikely. I would say that either instead of two large bones there are many vertebras, or instead of bones something else like cartilage.

I hope you understand what I mean.

What do your thoughts about it?

Greg responds...

I have bones in my arm and it still bends at the elbow.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

I already said this in the comment room, but you may not have read it. I just wanted to say sorry about how I put a bit too much attitude into some of my past questions (though at the time it felt more like righteous outrage to the way you answered questions). You were quite right in how you aren't obliged to answer for anything for us. This is your domain and your time you are putting out, and sometimes I and other people take that for granted. So in the future I will try to be more respectful.
That having been said, the reason I talked like that was I didn't see why making a small mistake in the question, was any reason not to answer. I didn't (and still don't) understand what you want when you avoid a question. You could want to not answer it at that moment, or it could just be a secret you don't want to get out (which I am quite willing to respect). So:

1) How can I tell which smart-ass response means what? As in When does it mean that you don't want to answer ever, you don't feel like answering now or you just don't want to answer because my spelling is getting aggravating.

2) Would you please be so kind as to grant me the knowledge of why Goliath, Angela and Gabriel weren't burned horribly when they fell into that water mixed with hot magma? By now I do have my own theory about this, but I would like to hear your answer.

And as for my spelling, since both you and Todd Jenson have told me how hard it is for you and him to read what I have to say, I have been making quite a fair effort to keep it clean (and the response as been fairly good in the CR). It seems people can change someone for the better, thanks for the incentive.
BTW, I was just slightly amused when I looked up "Pendantic" (which was what you called on of my questions) in the dictionary and couldn't find it. It was only when I asked my mom, that I found out it is spelled "Pedantic". But still, It's a cool word and thanks for teaching it to me.

Many thanks.
The Lord of the Sloths.

Greg responds...

1. Honestly, you probably can't in a vacuum. If you hang here long enough, you may get a better sense of my rhythms, I suppose. But I still maintain that I don't have to explain myself. I just have to keep it fun for (a) me and (b) enough of you guys to make doing this worthwhile. I think the smart-ass stuff is part of the fun. Certainly for (a). And hopefully for a large enough percentage of (b).

2. I'd have to review the scene in question. It's been awhile.

Your spelling is much improved and it is much appreciated. I don't myself claim to be a brilliant speller, and, hey, typos happen. I know how to spell pedantic, so that one was a typo. All I asked is that you make a bit more of an effort. You have. I'm grateful.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

can a female gargoyle born, raised and living her life on Avalon generally have more than three eggs in her lifetime if she wanted to?

Greg responds...

Potentially, I think.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord SLoth writes...

1.By the time of the Journey, has Jeffery Robin's finished "the Sword and the Staff"?
2.If yes, was it a sucses?
3.Has Hudson read it? What did Hudson think?

Greg responds...

1. I don't know. It could easily take an author a year to write a novel of any substance.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Do the N'kai have gods? What about the Space-Spawn?

Greg responds...

1. I don't know yet.

2. They have two gods.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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shadow warrior writes...

was Hudson's hair/ beard always grey/ white, like Brooklyn's? or did it change at some biological age like Demona's

Greg responds...

I honestly don't know yet.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001


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