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Gargoyles

The Phoenix Gate

Ask Greg Archives

RESPONSES 2001-11 (Nov)

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Kelly L Creighton/Kya White Sapphire writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

42.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lynati writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

(...why does everyone automatically think Fang is going to have a chance to ask *Goliath* this again?)

(Fang voice:)"How many Gargoyles does it take to change a lightbulb? ...None! They don't have time to change lighbulbs! They are too busy out harassing innocent citizens who are just minding their own business and locking them up in drafty Frankenstein cells! With no TV! HEY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU! ...ya creep..."

Greg responds...

chuckling

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Revel writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

*Goliath blinks unphased*

"First you have to figure out how to get the old one out."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 10, because their so darn stupid!

(Hey, it's Fang we are talking about here)

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

My last post had nothing to do with Noel Leas' post. Purely original on my part. It seemed weird that we both thought of the same basic answer within 5 minutes though.

Greg responds...

Yep. I figured.

But incidentally, if the winner comes down to two similar answers, I'm going to chose the one that posted first, even if it was just by a second.

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "None. I can see fine in the dark. How about you?" *POW!*

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Noel Leas writes...

Hey, Greg!

Long time, no post! I've got an idea for that contest:

Subject: LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Gargoyles can see well enough in the dark. ;)

Noel L.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Thomas Edison would be rolling in his grave had he heard you ask that."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Florescent or regular?"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Silly mutate, lightbulbs are for humans."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"

"Screwing lightbulbs?! What sorcery is THIS??!!"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

None. By the time they got it screwed in, they'd all be stone when they need to turn it off.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

It would take all of them to catch Bronx first, who would think the lightbulb was a chew toy and later try to bury it.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

If it takes more than one gargoyle then we should be asking, "How many lightbulbs does it take to piss them all off before they rip the socket out of the ceiling?"

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

If it's the lightbulb that powers the clocktower, that's got to be ONE...HUGE...lightbulb.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lady Mystic writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

**slight pause**

"Give up? None. With eyes like those who needs bulbs!" **chuckles** "Ahh, I crack myself up."

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but he would need a human to buy the lightbulb or steal it from the stockroom in the police station

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three-

One to say, "What would you want with a lightbulb? You've got shiny eyes,"
One to whine about turning the lightbulb into a planter,
And one and a starfleet to actually change it.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Gargoyles do not screw in lightbulbs, they ROAR!!!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Airportman writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five--

A fat one to eat the original bulb,
A lanky red one to criticice the fat one's eating habits,
A large purple one to flare his eyes for light while the bulb is being changed,
A small green one to actually do the changing,
And an old brown one to yell, "SORCERY!" when the new bulb turns on.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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matt writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

how many gargoyles??? i asked Anubis, he said:

"the lightbulb has died, let it rest. ultraviolet or standard, 55 or 100 watt, all light bulb are equal in death. burning out is the ultimate fairness..."

Greg responds...

ahhhhh

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Demoness writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."

Five

One to figure out what is wrong with the lightbulb.
One to go get a new one 'without' breaking it again.
One to figure out how to take out the bad one.
One to figure out how to put in the good one.
and One to put in the good one.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Guardian/Carole writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

Four. Lex has to determine which tool to use, Broadway has to complain about how long he hasn't eaten, Brooklyn has to do it with so much flair he fails, and finally Angela screws it in.

Just thought I'd take a stab at it . . . Yeah-kay. Biyo!

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

How many Gargoyles?

Just one, as soon as you get the good Dr. Sevarius to replace those clumsy gargoyle's hands with some Lightbulb friendly human ones.

Greg responds...

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001

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DragonWolf writes...

LIGHTBULB CONTEST

"Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to berate themselves for not protecting the old one from burning out."

Greg responds...

a smile, a palpable smile, I do confess it.

tfp

Response recorded on November 29, 2001


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