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Kali Gargoyle writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"I don't know, how many would it take to pound you into kitty paste?"
Greg responds...
Entered. Thanks.
Z writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None since screwing lightbulbs aren't part of the gargoyles way.
Greg responds...
And you're entered. Thanks.
Patricia writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...
Goliath: You mean the lightbulb died? We must have a Wind Ceremony for it. Come. (exits)
Fang: No, Goliath, wait! (signs) Man, he can't even take a joke!
Greg responds...
You are entered. Assuming I ever get through September of 2001, results will be forthcoming.
lefay_82 writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Just one,
get it!
Greg responds...
Uh, no, actually, I don't. But you're entered.
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
If k gargoyles can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 gargoyles will have changed the light bulb.
Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n gargoyles can change a light bulb.
Logically speaking, of course. Does this sound familiar?
Greg responds...
Not really. But consider yourself entered into the contest.
Alex Katsaros writes...
"LIGHTBULB CONTEST"
"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
Two. One to hang from the ceiling, the other to make him angry!
Greg responds...
Okay, it goes into the contest. Thanks for playing. Results will come when I get to the end of September submissions.
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
A team of Disney writers, artists, animators, as well as one great executive producer to make sure it gets done.
I'm not sucking up, am I?
Greg responds...
Maybe just a little.
Okay, on file 'til I someday get to the end of September. Maybe in 2198, at this rate.
Jimmy writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST: You may wanna close you'r kids's eyes.
Fang: "How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Goliath: I have no time for these games!
Fang: 69! Get it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Hey, it's Fang)
Greg responds...
tfp
Amanda writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Hey, Goliath? How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"I wouldn't know. I have never seen it done."
Greg responds...
tfp
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
They can see well enough since their TV is allways on.
Greg responds...
tfp
Kelly L Creighton/Kya White Sapphire writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
42.
Greg responds...
tfp
Lynati writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
(...why does everyone automatically think Fang is going to have a chance to ask *Goliath* this again?)
(Fang voice:)"How many Gargoyles does it take to change a lightbulb? ...None! They don't have time to change lighbulbs! They are too busy out harassing innocent citizens who are just minding their own business and locking them up in drafty Frankenstein cells! With no TV! HEY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU! ...ya creep..."
Greg responds...
chuckling
tfp
Revel writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
*Goliath blinks unphased*
"First you have to figure out how to get the old one out."
Greg responds...
tfp
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 10, because their so darn stupid!
(Hey, it's Fang we are talking about here)
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
My last post had nothing to do with Noel Leas' post. Purely original on my part. It seemed weird that we both thought of the same basic answer within 5 minutes though.
Greg responds...
Yep. I figured.
But incidentally, if the winner comes down to two similar answers, I'm going to chose the one that posted first, even if it was just by a second.
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "None. I can see fine in the dark. How about you?" *POW!*
Greg responds...
tfp
Noel Leas writes...
Hey, Greg!
Long time, no post! I've got an idea for that contest:
Subject: LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Q: How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Gargoyles can see well enough in the dark. ;)
Noel L.
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Thomas Edison would be rolling in his grave had he heard you ask that."
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Florescent or regular?"
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Silly mutate, lightbulbs are for humans."
Greg responds...
tfp
matt writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
"Screwing lightbulbs?! What sorcery is THIS??!!"
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
None. By the time they got it screwed in, they'd all be stone when they need to turn it off.
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
It would take all of them to catch Bronx first, who would think the lightbulb was a chew toy and later try to bury it.
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
If it takes more than one gargoyle then we should be asking, "How many lightbulbs does it take to piss them all off before they rip the socket out of the ceiling?"
Greg responds...
tfp
Jim R. writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
If it's the lightbulb that powers the clocktower, that's got to be ONE...HUGE...lightbulb.
Greg responds...
tfp
Lady Mystic writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
**slight pause**
"Give up? None. With eyes like those who needs bulbs!" **chuckles** "Ahh, I crack myself up."
Greg responds...
tfp
Airportman writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but he would need a human to buy the lightbulb or steal it from the stockroom in the police station
Greg responds...
tfp
Airportman writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three-
One to say, "What would you want with a lightbulb? You've got shiny eyes,"
One to whine about turning the lightbulb into a planter,
And one and a starfleet to actually change it.
Greg responds...
tfp
Airportman writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Gargoyles do not screw in lightbulbs, they ROAR!!!
Greg responds...
tfp
Airportman writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five--
A fat one to eat the original bulb,
A lanky red one to criticice the fat one's eating habits,
A large purple one to flare his eyes for light while the bulb is being changed,
A small green one to actually do the changing,
And an old brown one to yell, "SORCERY!" when the new bulb turns on.
Greg responds...
tfp
matt writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
how many gargoyles??? i asked Anubis, he said:
"the lightbulb has died, let it rest. ultraviolet or standard, 55 or 100 watt, all light bulb are equal in death. burning out is the ultimate fairness..."
Greg responds...
ahhhhh
tfp
Demoness writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
Five
One to figure out what is wrong with the lightbulb.
One to go get a new one 'without' breaking it again.
One to figure out how to take out the bad one.
One to figure out how to put in the good one.
and One to put in the good one.
Greg responds...
tfp
Guardian/Carole writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Four. Lex has to determine which tool to use, Broadway has to complain about how long he hasn't eaten, Brooklyn has to do it with so much flair he fails, and finally Angela screws it in.
Just thought I'd take a stab at it . . . Yeah-kay. Biyo!
Greg responds...
tfp
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many Gargoyles?
Just one, as soon as you get the good Dr. Sevarius to replace those clumsy gargoyle's hands with some Lightbulb friendly human ones.
Greg responds...
tfp
DragonWolf writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to berate themselves for not protecting the old one from burning out."
Greg responds...
a smile, a palpable smile, I do confess it.
tfp
Blaise writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb."
Well, you just need one to intimidate the human into doing it.
Greg responds...
tfp
Aris Katsaris writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST (and I consider this all one entry btw :-)
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm home right now and the answer is in my office. Ask again later.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: Your assumptions are incorrect.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm not that big in quantifying things. Lots, I guess.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightblub?"
Greg responds: What's a lightblub?
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: All things are true.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I wouldn't want to tie down my hands and the hands of the artists in this respect.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: The world may never know. :-)
Greg responds...
Okay, this made me laugh. Not sure how to get this into Fang's mouth, but in the meantime...
tfp
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang> Hey, yo Goliath! How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb, huh?
Goliath> I give up, how many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fang> About as many as the number of light bulbs that can be screwed into a gargoyle!
Greg responds...
tfp
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang> Hey, yo Goliath. How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a light bulb, huh?
Goliath> I'm not sure Fang, but it only takes one to screw an annoying, bug zapping mutate into the wall to provide illumination.
Greg responds...
tfp
Goliath JD - Jack Donovan writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Two - but how can they fit inside a lightbulb?"
Greg responds...
tfp
Josh Wurzel writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. A gargoyle can no more stop guarding the castle than stop breathing the air. And changing lightbulbs does NOT count as "protecting the castle", Xanatos!
Greg responds...
tfp
Greg Bishansky writes...
"LIGHTBULB CONTEST"
How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause only the short one could figure out how a lightbulb works.
Greg responds...
tfp
Demoness writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
Four!
One to screw it in and three more to hold off the Quarrymen!
Greg responds...
tfp
Demoness writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
None! They are all stoned!!
Greg responds...
tfp
Vashkoda writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
None. Whoever has the Phoenix Gate will go back in time and make sure the light bulb doesn't go out.
Greg responds...
TFP
Vashkoda writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
None, they only screw criminals.
Greg responds...
TFP.
Vashkoda writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Are you kidding? They won't even change their loincloths!
Greg responds...
Uh... ewwww.
Anyway, it goes in the contest file until I can finally get through September and judge all the entries.
Thanks for playing.
Zach Baker writes...
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
I dunno, how many you got?
Greg responds...
And FINALLY, the contest begins. This goes on file til all the entries are in.
matt writes...
in the gargoyles universe, why did the chicken cross the road?
i'm not telling a joke, i'm looking for an answer. i swear theres a good one here somewhere... and this will keep me busy til the next contest!
Greg responds...
To find out how many gargoyles it takes to screw in a lightbulb, I guess.
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Poor Fang. Never even got to say the punchline...
Here's the set-up:
"Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb..."
Time for our next ASK GREG contest. It's simple and subjective. Finish the joke. The punchline that gives me the biggest laugh wins a prize of no real value, but hopefully of some mild interest.
A few rules:
1. Since we're giving out a prize, no anonymous entries will be accepted. I'll ask Todd to delete them before I even see them.
2. All posts must be clearly marked with "LIGHTBULB CONTEST" in capital letters at the head of the post.
3. Don't ask additional questions with your entry. In fact I'd recommend that you don't include anything that might distract me from laughing at your joke.
4. Spelling COUNTS!!!
5. You may enter as many times as you wish. But each entry MUST be posted seperately. Try to be selective and funny. BEWARE!!! If I sense that you're just taking multiple random stabs at it in order to try and win by the shotgun method, it may prejudice me against you.
6. I'm acknowledging up front that this is a completely subjective contest. You (many or even all of you) may not agree with my final choice. But the decisions of the judges (i.e. yours truly) are final.
7. We will accept entries posted before the end of September, 2001. I'll decide on the winner AFTER I've read all the September posts. (So figure on November, HOPEFULLY.)
One last bit of random incentive, if we ever do make BAD GUYS, I will give Fang the opportunity to complete his joke, using (with permission) the winning entry.
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