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I'm losing my touch...

I'm feeling like my smart-ass responses just haven't been very sharp lately.

So appropos of nothing, I'm taking a poll.

If you've got a few minutes, go through the smart-ass response archive and copy and paste your favorite one.

Maybe if you guys point out the "classics" to me, it'll help me redefine my mission on this score.


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Sapphire writes...

Hey Greg what would your other self be doing right now in the gargoyles universe?

Greg responds...

Writing about all you nutty humans, I guess.

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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matt writes...

hey Greg, what did Titania whisper to Fox in "The Gathering II"? how much would i have to pay you to send the answer to my email address? :)

Greg responds...

Why would I tell you and no one else?

But how much are you offering?

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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Todd Jensen writes...

One question that I found myself reminded of because of your piece about "you have to both see and hear magic in order for it to affect you" in "City of Stone". Now, I very much liked the concept because of it giving established rules for how magic works in the Gargoyles Universe, helping to give it its feeling of verisimilitude. But at the same time, I've occasionally wondered about just how universal that particular rule is.

First off, faerie magic clearly doesn't always follow this rule. In "The Mirror", Puck was able to transform humans into gargoyles and gargoyles into humans when they weren't able to see or hear him. In "The Gathering Part One", Oberon was able to put the whole city to sleep even though, again, the affected people were clearly not all seeing and hearing him. Of course, the above rule probably was only meant to apply to human magic anyway, so these exceptions don't count.

But the area that I do sometimes find myself wondering about is the Roman Magus's "spell of modesty" that you mentioned, back in the days of Caesar Augustus. Because it affected every gargoyle on the planet, including their descendants. But nearly all the gargoyle clans that we know of are from areas that weren't part of the Roman Empire: Britain (which was partly conquered by Rome, but only after Augustus's lifetime), the Far East (never a part of the Roman Empire), and Guatemala (beyond ancient Rome's very knowledge). Obviously, the gargoyles in those regions didn't see or hear the Roman Magus when he cast the spell, but were affected by him. (I assume that it was probably a very unusual, even unique case, though of course, I doubt that you feel ready yet to explain it to us). A small mystery that I thought that I'd mention here.

Greg responds...

Mortal sorcery, yes. Not fae magic.

As for the modesty spell. Well, uh, hey, um, well, that was one darn POWERFUL magus. (Must have had the backing of ALL of Rome's Standard's and Practice's Executives.)

But seriously, he had help. The Archmage wasn't the first guy to combine magical artifacts.

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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matt writes...

okay, you told us to stop asking detail questions about the Puck created world in "Future Tense" cuz there were no details and Puck didn't work any harder than he had to so what about Maria Chavez's daughter? why was she included in Puck's ruse? i don't think Goliath had much of a relationship with Chavez and might not have known her, in fact, i don't see it as very likely that Goliath even saw that picture! so why did Puck include that detail? (lets see you get yourself out of this one. :) )

Greg responds...

Goliath would recognize Chavez. Thus the importance of the photograph in "the daughter's" cart. If Goliath had made an effort, Puck would have given young Ms. Chavez more of a personality, with a sob story about her mother to further discomfit our boy.

(How was that? Amateur.)

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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Corrine Blaquen writes...

Family Xanatos:

1. What are the middle names of David and Fox?
2. Will Alexander ever get a foxhead tattoo like his mom, as he did in FUTURE TENSE?

Greg responds...

1. Alexander and Alexandra.

2. You never know.

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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Dexter writes...

Why is Angela so DAMN sexy? Oh I love her SO much! Dude, do you think she'd go for a blonde-haired punk? I mean, her own dad even went for a human, so maybe there's hope for me yet. Hmm...I bet you're gonna give me a smart-ass remark like "she's taken" or something cuz "gargoyles mate for life" BUT Demona proved that it is not true! Go me! Long live the beautiful Angela!

Greg responds...

Hey, good luck, man. More power to you.

[Poor slob.]

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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(The Guppi) writes...

Does the Holy Grail have anything to do with the Golden Cup Bakery? [*LOL*] :>

Greg responds...

Shhhh.

Response recorded on February 01, 2001

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Joxter writes...

If I were to ask you "Who is Nought", would you then reply "Who isn't?" as indicated at the top of the page?

Greg responds...

I might, I guess. But since I did that before, I'd try to do something else clever instead.

(Uh, Joxter, you are really hard up for a question, aren't you?)

Response recorded on January 26, 2001

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matt writes...

what happened to the Pack helicopter that Lex remodeled in"Her Brother's Keeper"? i can think of lots of times the gargs could have used although, i suppose they didn't have anywhere to keep it or the fuel, etc. to support it. so where did it go?

Greg responds...

They turned it into a planter.

Response recorded on January 17, 2001


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