Cassandra writes...

My vote on favorite sarcastic reply from Greg.

Jim R. writes...
How long would a gargoyle last in college? And would he be able to afford it? :)

Greg responds...

That would depend on the gargoyle. And the financial aid package.

recorded on 02-15-01

Jon writes...

Favorite smart-ass remark:

Faieq writes...
In the Gargoyles Universe, how much truth is there in fortune cookies?

Greg responds...

All cookies are true. Especially Peanut Butter cookies.

(Personally, I've known a few disingenuous peanut butter cookies in my time, so I'm not sure I can back you on this one, Greg)

Good luck regaining your edge!

One writes...

1) Is there any particular reason why Grandmother chooses to look like an aged native american woman and possess the mannerisms thereof? Most fae we've seen in the series perfer a youthful or mature adult form, usually not children or the elderly. Puck, Oberon, Titania, the Wyrd Sisters, Bean Sidhe, etc.

2) Who are among the eldest of the Fae race? Oberon? Titania? Mab?

3) Is Cold Iron the only way to kill a fae, if not, what other ways are there?

The Mighty Thor writes...

Lawrence Stone writes...
How do gargoyles view Homosexuality?

Greg responds...

On cable, like the rest of us.

This has got to be the best on in the arcive, mostly because you play it out so litteraly like with the "cauldran of life" It just really get's me how a question/magic spell can sound so good and start an intelegent conversation and then take any meaning or insight and compleatly nuke it.

Zombie White writes...

SMART ASS STUFF...
you wanted to know those we loved... I liked the Bunji-jumping new olipians and the fea that evolved from books... I like the sens in the non-sens..

by the way, some people asked "what came first, the egg or the gargoyle"... come on, we all know it's the egg... if gargoyles are part of the evolution then they came from dinosaurs that layed eggs :P
then again, dinosaurs came from unicellulars that didn't O.o
who's the smart-ass now !?

Dexter writes...

Hey, wussup? It's that really anoying punk again. So Lara Croft once appeared in a music video for some english band, think Angela could be in one of my band's music videos? Or does her contract with Disney rule that kinda stuff out? That'd be sweet if she could....i should call her...dammit!too bad i don't have her number

Patricia writes...

My fave S-A Response :) :

Faieq writes...
In the Gargoyles Universe, how much truth is there in fortune cookies?

Greg responds...

All cookies are true. Especially Peanut Butter cookies.

(This is my favorite question this month.)

Siren writes...

Well, first off, Smart Ass answers are my favorite...But I can't pick one, so here are just a few of my favs.

Airwalker writes...
In the 'ONCE UPON A TIME...' segments you've done, we've seen why Malcolm would need to ally himself with a Gargoyle clan. But why would Hudson want
to ally himself with Malcolm?
Greg responds...
Patience, grasshopper...

Scott Iskow writes...
That last question of mine got me thinking...
Are there flying pigs in the Gargoyles Universe?
(Believe it or not, that's actually a serious question. Go fig.)
Greg responds...
I've got the bacon, do you have the catapult?

ndrew writes...
In the episode the gathering (part 2) what did titania whisper to fox at the end of the episode. I have been wondering this for a long time.
Greg responds...
You and what army?
Oh, yeah. That army. <WAVES> "Hi, guys!"

Heidi Doeing writes...
I don't think, despite your multiple attempts to evade the question, that anyone will stop until the real answer is given:
What did Anastacia whisper to Fox?
( ;) just thought I'd try again)
Greg responds...
You misspelled Anastasia.

Siren writes...

Hey Greg, a while back, I asked you "Which came first? The gargoyle or the egg?". And you replied, "I did."...So which came after you?

Breath of Mystery writes...

Okay, I noticed this question has been circulating around the archives for a while. About what, if anything, was whispered to Fox by Titania in "The GatheringII." Due to the amount of smarty-pants responses you've been dealing out, I wanted to return the favor. So, my question is: Did Titania say "I will eat your heart" to Fox? And Yes, I know I am setting myself up to be brutally shot down, but hey. I was just wondering. Hav fun!

Duncan Devlin writes...

My favorite smart-ass response was your answer to the question:
"Which came first, the gargoyle or the egg?"
Your answer: "I DID"

I even drew up a little comic around it in the New Yorker Magazine style.

warrioress writes...

My favorite smart-ass response:

Someone wrote...

What do you you think would be the reaction of the Canmore siblings (especially Jon) if they found out that Demona literally killed their father with one hand tied behind her back? (She was holding onto the Praying Gargoyle at the time he attacked her.)

Greg answered:

Gee. I think they'd dance a jig.

Whaddaya think their reactions would be?

Then there was the one person asking how Goliath was able to shave on the Avalon Tour, and Greg said something about Superman volunteering his heat vision.....

VF writes...

My favorite responses (to most things, actually) are the ones that reveal a witty-but-slightly-quirky sense of humor without being malicious. So I'd have to pick these:

1) "... I realize that isn't the kind of answer you were looking for. ... And that amuses me."

2) "It's not that I didn't understand the question. It just struck me, no offense, as too silly to answer in any straight way. ... And the funny thing is, it still strikes me that way."

Emmlei writes...

fav smart-ass response: in reply to aris's follow-up about one my latest whisper question
Oh, well if that's what you want, then the answer is...

Hey, was that you're plan all along? To appeal to my sense of perversion?

yeah, that questions been asked way too much. so you gonna tell us? j/k

Jim R. writes...

Here's one of my favorite smart-ass responses:

Anonymous writes...
do you know where i can find a picture of some neat looking gargoyles? like the ones out of a comic book.

Greg responds...
Nope. Have you tried comic books?

Revel writes...

Okay, after going through the smart ass archive I know I definitly want to meet you in LA
My favorite was the guy swooning over Angela and your drawn out response.
-Sure, more power to you........Poor slob
My thoughts exactly. There's a world outside them for walls!

Todd Jensen writes...

Here's one of my favorites from the "Smart-ass Responses" section, as per your request:

<<What Would Happen to a gargoyle in space?

Greg responds...

They'd explode in the void, just like a human.>>

matt writes...

Greg, i love those smart-ass responses and it would be hard to choose one favirote, but i always thought that this one was pretty good:

-How do gargoyles view homosexuality?
-On cable, like the rest of us.

i also liked:

-After clones, superviruses, and mutates what could Sevarius possibly cook up next?
-Breakfast?

you sound like Xanatos in "The Edge" when he thinks he's lost his. i think you still have the edge in smart-ass responses, you are hilarious!

Jim R. writes...

So, are you in the mood yet to tell us about Lexington's mate? :)

Cameron writes...

Where can I find pictures of the middle age Gargoyles?

Sapphire writes...

Hey Greg what would your other self be doing right now in the gargoyles universe?

matt writes...

hey Greg, what did Titania whisper to Fox in "The Gathering II"? how much would i have to pay you to send the answer to my email address? :)

Todd Jensen writes...

One question that I found myself reminded of because of your piece about "you have to both see and hear magic in order for it to affect you" in "City of Stone". Now, I very much liked the concept because of it giving established rules for how magic works in the Gargoyles Universe, helping to give it its feeling of verisimilitude. But at the same time, I've occasionally wondered about just how universal that particular rule is.

First off, faerie magic clearly doesn't always follow this rule. In "The Mirror", Puck was able to transform humans into gargoyles and gargoyles into humans when they weren't able to see or hear him. In "The Gathering Part One", Oberon was able to put the whole city to sleep even though, again, the affected people were clearly not all seeing and hearing him. Of course, the above rule probably was only meant to apply to human magic anyway, so these exceptions don't count.

But the area that I do sometimes find myself wondering about is the Roman Magus's "spell of modesty" that you mentioned, back in the days of Caesar Augustus. Because it affected every gargoyle on the planet, including their descendants. But nearly all the gargoyle clans that we know of are from areas that weren't part of the Roman Empire: Britain (which was partly conquered by Rome, but only after Augustus's lifetime), the Far East (never a part of the Roman Empire), and Guatemala (beyond ancient Rome's very knowledge). Obviously, the gargoyles in those regions didn't see or hear the Roman Magus when he cast the spell, but were affected by him. (I assume that it was probably a very unusual, even unique case, though of course, I doubt that you feel ready yet to explain it to us). A small mystery that I thought that I'd mention here.

matt writes...

okay, you told us to stop asking detail questions about the Puck created world in "Future Tense" cuz there were no details and Puck didn't work any harder than he had to so what about Maria Chavez's daughter? why was she included in Puck's ruse? i don't think Goliath had much of a relationship with Chavez and might not have known her, in fact, i don't see it as very likely that Goliath even saw that picture! so why did Puck include that detail? (lets see you get yourself out of this one. :) )