G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Three

672. NARRATOR
Act Three.

673. DEMONA
Norman Osborn was a fool. So obsessed with the power of science, he kept the Crown of Thorns in this vault as if it was just another souvenir â€" albeit an expensive one â€" to hang upon his wall. But with the Crown and the Spear of Destiny together, I now have the power to force all of humanity to its knees.

674. GOLIATH
These are Christian icons, Demona. Not every human being is a Christian.

675. DEMONA
Not every human being speaks Latin, but that didn’t stop me from using a Latin spell to turn a city-full of humans to stone. The magic I wield is potent beyond measure. Mine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory. No human may resist. No human will be spared. None will be spared who oppose me. Just look at this fool…

676. GOLIATH
Her name is Obsidiana.

677. DEMONA
Of course it is. For she wears the mystic Obsidian pendant fashioned by human sorcerers. Even that is enough to put her in my thrall. She has relinquished her gargoyle birthright.

678. GOLIATH
I have relinquished nothing.

679. NARRATOR
Demona waves the Spear of Destiny, and Electro rises and blasts Goliath back into the wall.

680. GOLIATH
<impact>

681. DEMONA
Yes, I’m surprised you’re unaffected… since you reek of humanity. The stink of your human whore is in your hair, on your lips, everywhere. And nothing in this world will give me more pleasure, Goliath, than watching your detective on her knees to me, as she draws her service revolver and thanks me with tears of joy in her eyes… before gratefully blowing out her own brains.

682. GOLIATH
(coldly furious)
That will never be.

683. DEMONA
No? My power expands with every second. I doubt she’s far away.

684. GOLIATH
You will not harm Elisa.

685. NARRATOR
Goliath advances on Demona. Electro blasts away, but Goliath will not be stopped…

686. DEMONA
No one ever said you weren’t persistent, Goliath. But what do you hope to gain?

687. GOLIATH
(through gritted teeth)
I will turn these forces back upon you.

688. DEMONA
Impossible. I am the last true gargoyle left on this world. The Crown’s magicks cannot touch me.

689. GOLIATH
So you believe. But I am not the only one who reeks of humanity. Am I… Dominique?!

690. NARRATOR
Goliath grasps the crown. The thorns bite into his hands, drawing blood. They struggle for control of the immense power…

691. GOLIATH, DEMONA
<roaring to the heavens>

692. SPIDER-MAN
<moan>

693. NARRATOR
Goliath’s intervention â€" and his complete immunity to the Crown’s effects â€" creates the smallest of fluctuation in Demona’s control. In a haze, Spider-Man lifts his arm…

694. SPIDER-MAN
Thwip.

695. NARRATOR
He shoots off a web, yanking the bloody crown from Demona’s head.

696. DEMONA
Noooooo!!!!

697. NARRATOR
There is a massive explosion of mystic energy and light! Demona, Goliath and Electro collapse.

698. GOLIATH
<moan>

699. SPIDER-MAN
Goliath…

700. GOLIATH
The Spear… the Crown…

701. SPIDER-MAN
Gone. I think they… blew up. Calypso’s gone too. But I’m betting that’s just a talent of hers. And I’d guess she’s taken Kraven and the pussycat with her.

702. DEMONA
<unconscious moan>

703. SPIDER-MAN
But the Big Bad’s still here…

704. GOLIATH
(sadly)
Leaving behind, as always, nothing but a handful of thorns…

Goliath, Spider-Man and Demona sit. Jonah, Elisa, Matt and George STAND.

705. NARRATOR
While Goliath helps Obsidiana, Spidey webs up Demona, Electro and Ock. In the outer vault, Zafiro and the Trio recover, finding only an unconscious and de-venomed Eddie Brock. Outside, the bad guys have all been beaten. Goblin and Vulture, their tech badly damaged, barely manage to fly away. Carnage and Jupiter are once again Cletus and John.

706. JONAH
I’m here, Johnny. Your old Pop’s here…

707. ELISA
Matt…

708. MATT
Call an ambulance, Elisa. Old Man Dracon said something about seeing a light. Then he collapsed. A stroke or something. I’ve been giving him C.P.R.

709. ELISA
Matt… Matt! You can stop. Stop. He’s gone.

710. GEORGE
You’re gargoyles are flying off, Detective.

711. MATT
(breathing hard)
Really? Not sure I see ‘em myself. But is that Spidey web-slinging away?

712. GEORGE
You think? I must have missed him?

Margot STANDS.

713. MARGOT
Are you all blind?! They’re right over there!

714. GEORGE, MATT, ELISA (UNISON)
Oh, give it a rest, Margot…

Elisa, Matt, George, Margot and Jonah sit. Peter, May, Harry and Gwen STAND.

715. NARRATOR
Back at the bus…

716. PETER
I’m back. And not a single decent picture to show for my efforts.

717. MAY
Well, you tried your best, Peter. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will appreciate that.

718. PETER
Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetheart that way.

719. NARRATOR
Emily Osborn watches as her son finally emerges from the bathroom.

720. GWEN
Harry?

721. HARRY
Hey, Gwen. I feel much better.

Harry, Gwen, Peter and May sit. Jonah and Robbie STAND.

722. NARRATOR
Later that night, at The Bugle…

723. JONAH
Whaddayou mean I can’t publish it?! How else can I make them all pay for what they did to Johnny!

724. ROBBIE
You can’t publish because the authorities refuse to comment. We have no pictures or statements to corroborate a story that includes gargoyles, a dead Green Goblin and everything except the kitchen sink. No one will believe it. I was there, and I don’t believe it! Print this, Jonah, and The Bugle becomes the next Daily Tattler.

725. JONAH
Ms. Brant, call the bomb squad. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!

Jonah and Robbie sit. Gwen, Peter, Kong, Curt, Harry, EMILY OSBORN and Mary Jane STAND.

726. NARRATOR
Later still, aboard OsCorp’s private jet en route to Miami…

727. GWEN
I still can’t believe we ran into you in the airport parking lot, Doctor Connors.

728. PETER
Yeah, and we’re so sorry you got mugged.

729. KONG
Dude, they took your shoes?! That’s hilarious! <laughs>

730. CURT
Yes, well, I just really appreciate the ride back to Florida…

731. HARRY
Anytime, Doctor C. Anytime.

732. EMILY
Harry, could I have a moment… in your father’s office?

733. HARRY
Uh, sure, Mom.

Curt, Kong and Gwen sit.

734. MARY JANE
Pete, help.

735. PETER
What’s wrong?

736. MARY JANE
Tiny. Cute enough, but it’s like talking to a tree stump.

737. PETER
Tried to warn you.

738. MARY JANE
Just say we’ll spend the week as a threesome, okay, Tiger.

739. PETER
Sure!

740. MARY JANE
Not that kind of threesome.

Mary Jane and Peter sit.

741. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Harry follows his mother Emily into the jet’s private office.

742. EMILY
I know you were playing at being the Goblin, Harry.

743. HARRY
What?! Mom, that’s crazy! I was in the bathroom…

744. EMILY
Don’t lie to me, baby. You hired the worst chauffer in the city to delay our progress. You had a secret hatch installed in the bus bathroom, so you could slip in and out undetected. And you left a pre-recorded “vomit tape” with voice recognition software. All very impressive for a sixteen-year-old. But you need to understand… the Green Goblin is not what your father wanted for you.

745. HARRY
I have no idea what Dad wanted for me…

746. EMILY
Then let him tell you…

747. NARRATOR
She slips a DVD into the computer and Norman Osborn appears on screen…

NORMAN OSBORN STANDS.

748. NORMAN
Harry, my son. If you are watching this, then I am dead. And I have instructions…

Norman, Emily and Harry sit. Big Man, Blackie and SHARI STAND.

749. NARRATOR
Meanwhile at the Big Man’s office, he and Blackie Gaxton are visited by Shari, a young woman wearing a pendant depicting an eye atop a pyramid…

750. BIG MAN
Thirty-six.

751. BLACKIE
Thirty-five.

752. SHARI
Nine. Any problems?

753. BIG MAN
Not particularly. Ms. Destine was ready to believe I could find Dracon and the others useful.

754. BLACKIE
And that faux Goblin was happy to believe I’d been fooled into thinking he was the real thing.

755. NARRATOR
Blackie removes his false face, revealing that he is actually the Chameleon in disguise.

756. CHAMELEON
Just as he was happy to believe I was the real Blackie Gaxton. But I’m still not sure why the Society wanted all this…?

757. SHARI
Isn’t it enough to know the Illuminati appreciates your efforts?

CHAMELEON and Big Man sit. THAILOG, BRENTWOOD, Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 And Homunculus #3 STAND.

758. NARRATOR
Shari leaves Lincoln’s office and pulls out her cellphone…

759. SHARI
Dial Nightstone Unlimited.

760. THAILOG
Alexander Thailog.

761. SHARI
The Spear? The Crown?

762. THAILOG
Waiting for you to send to Duval.

763. BRENTWOOD
Brentwood capture little robot. Use it to control other little robots. When bright light shine, robots take spear and crown.

764. SHARI
Lovely.

765. THAILOG
What should we do with the Homunculi?

766. SHARI
Set them free. Maybe they’ll get their own series some day.

767. HOMUNCULUS #1
Free, free, set them free…

768. HOMUNCULUS #2
On basic cable and DVD…

769. HOMUNCULUS #3
Jazz hands!

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Shari, Thailog and Brentwood sit. Elisa and Goliath STAND.

770. NARRATOR
At the castle, Elisa’s cell rings.

771. ELISA
Maza… Yeah, Captain Stacy said you might call. Sure, he’s right here.

772. NARRATOR
She hands the phone to Goliath, who doesn’t quite know how to hold it. She takes it back and puts the call on speaker.

773. GOLIATH
Hello…?

Spider-Man STANDS.

774. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, Goliath. It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

775. GOLIATH
You protect your… neighborhood.

776. SPIDER-MAN
Just like you do the super-hero thing without the tights.

777. GOLIATH
Spider-Man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

778. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, I was just gonna say that. You saw that movie too?

779. GOLIATH
Movie?

780. ELISA
God, I love you… <kiss>

Elisa, Goliath and Spider-Man sit. Kafka STANDS.

781. NARRATOR
And finally â€" yes, finally â€" we end where we began. In the offices of Dr. Ashley Kafka at Ravencroft. She’s on the phone to her Board of Directors.

782. KAFKA
After all that tsuris, little has changed. Otto and Eddie are still disassociative. Max still needs a cure, and John still wants power. Cletus? He just keeps repeating, “I got a taste now,” over and over. Yes, we lost Dominic, I’m afraid. But we do have a new patient…

Dominique STANDS.

783. KAFKA (CONT)
…Dominique Destine.

784. DOMINIQUE
Just wait until the sun goes down…

Dominique and Kafka sit.

785. NARRATOR
The End.

THE END

NEXT: I finally get back to answering questions...

G2008 Radio Play

G2008 Radio Play (Chapter IX)

Stone STANDS.

237. NARRATOR
12:18AM. LANTERN OF THE ABBEY. Arthur opens the transport container to look upon the Stone of Destiny. Chapter Nine: Rock of Ages. 1:06AM GMT. Arthur listens to the glowing Stone.

238. STONE
…Pointless, Arthur Pendragon, to waste time protecting any particular stone…

Stone sits.

239. NARRATOR
1:31AM. VICTORIA TOWER. Arthur, Macbeth, Hudson, Lex, Amp, Griff, Coco, Coldstone and Coldfire confer.

240. ARTHUR
Perhaps… perhaps this is all unnecessary. I don’t think we need to guard the stone.

Macbeth, Arthur, Hudson, Lexington, Amp, Coco, Griff, Coldstone & Coldfire sit. Coldsteel & Coyote STAND.

241. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 6:16AM. LEITH. Coyote and Coldsteel stand side-by-side inside a warehouse.

242. COYOTE
No, I am not programmed for free will…

243. COLDSTEEL
Pity. You have potential…

COLDSTREAM GUARD, Macbeth, Xanatos, Coldstone & Coldfire STAND.

244. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 10:02AM. A Coldstream Guard holds up a hand to stop a transport convoy from driving onto Coldstream Bridge.

245. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Get the bomb unit! Now!!

246. MACBETH
Macbeth to Coldstone: convoy’s stopped, and Xanatos is here.

247. XANATOS
Well, it’s a momentous occasion… and such a lovely day…

248. MACBETH
Safe to say he’s up to something.

249. COLDSTONE
Yes, safe to say.

250. NARRATOR
Coldstone and Coldfire intercept Coldsteel and Coyote heading for the Bridge.

251. COLDFIRE
Hold, brother!

252. COLDSTEEL
Hold, sister!

253. NARRATOR
Coldsteel’s tentacles grab Coldfire, forcing her arms up so that she nearly FRIES Coldstone.

254. COLDSTEEL
As you see, I’ve had time to mend my ways. Well, my appendages…

255. COLDSTONE
Release her! <pain cry>

256. NARRATOR
Coldstone’s back is raked by Coyote’s buzzsaw-arm.

257. COLDSTEEL
Now that we’re machines, don’t you love these exhilarating daytime battles…? No nasty organic gargoyles to even the odds…

258. NARRATOR
Coldfire HEAD BUTTS Coldsteel violently. His tentacles release her.

259. COLDFIRE
Consider the odds evened.

260. COLDSTEEL
A t-t-temporary s-s-setback…

261. COLDFIRE
Then let’s make it permanent.

262. COYOTE
Out of David’s respect for Goliath, I am programmed to inflict only as much damage as necessary to reach our objective. But I define the parameters of “necessary”.

263. COLDSTONE
Define this.

264. NARRATOR
Coldstone’s fist SHATTERS the half-Xanatos/half-robot skull image on Coyote’s screen. Coldstone shoves his forearm cannon down Coyote’s “throat” and fires. Coyote EXPLODES! The dented Coldsteel watches the wreckage of Coyote fall toward the RIVER TWEED below.

265. COLDSTEEL
P-p-pity. He had p-p-potential…

266. NARRATOR
Coldsteel POWER-DIVES down into the river. Coldstone follows but can find no sign of Coldsteel.

Coyote & Coldsteel sit.

267. NARRATOR
10:12AM GMT. COLDSTREAM BRIDGE. Xanatos stands between Macbeth and Arthur. A Marching Band plays. Xanatos presses a small one-button remote. Inside the Land Rover, the Stone’s metal transport container is strapped to the floor of the cargo space â€" which FLIPS over, so that the real container is replaced by a DUPLICATE (with a duplicate stone inside).

268. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Hold it down! The Bomb Squad’s at work!

269. NARRATOR
10:38AM GMT. The Guard signals the convoy forward.

270. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Right, we’re clear. Not a bomb. Just an empty shoebox.

271. COLDSTONE
Coldstone to Macbeth. We’ve lost Coldsteel.

272. MACBETH
Just stay on the alert…

273. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Let’s go! We’re behind schedule!

274. MACBETH
The Stone’s on the move again.

Coldstream Guard, Macbeth, Xanatos, Coldfire & Coldstone sit. Thailog & Shari STAND.

275. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 5:43AM EST. NIGHTSTONE UNLIMITED.

276. THAILOG
Check.

277. SHARI
The story is told â€" though who can say if it be true â€" that on a clear Christmas night, a band of Scottish patriots broke into Westminster Abbey to steal the Stone and in the process broke it in two!

Thailog & Shari sit. Arthur & Macbeth STAND.

278. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 12:00PM GMT. EDINBURGH CASTLE.

279. ARTHUR
Well?

280. MACBETH
The Stone’s back where it belongs! Well, it belongs in Scone, but at least it’s back in Scotland.

Macbeth & Arthur sit. Stone & Xanatos STAND.

281. NARRATOR
A land rover from the convoy drives past Macbeth and Arthur. 12:36PM. LEITH. The Land Rover pulls into a non-descript warehouse and stops in front of a smiling Xanatos. 1:06PM. Xanatos listens to the glowing Stone.

282. STONE
…Pointless, David Xanatos, to substitute yet another stone to fool the Illuminati…

Stone sits. Coldsteel STANDS.

283. NARRATOR
2:23PM. Coldsteel dumps pieces of Coyote shrapnel on the floor.

284. COLDSTEEL
There’s what’s left of your boy… and here’s your rock.

285. NARRATOR
Coldsteel tosses the Coyote Diamond to Xanatos.

286. XANATOS
Oh, I’m just its minder.

287. COLDSTEEL
I believe that completes our bargain…

288. XANATOS
Indeed. Consider your tracking device deactivated.

289. COLDSTEEL
Pleasure doing business with you.

Coldsteel sits. FLEUR STANDS.

290. NARRATOR
3:59PM.

291. XANATOS
Thirty-six.

292. FLEUR
Three. <pause> Any problems?

293. XANATOS
Only finding a duplicate on such short notice.

294. NARRATOR
4:04PM. Behind the wheel of the Land Rover, Fleur drives through Leith. Fog rises, until the street is barely visible. The fog forms into Castle Carbonek. The Land Rover drives across the drawbridge into a large cobblestone courtyard.

DUVAL STANDS.

295. DUVAL
Finally. Two.

296. FLEUR
Bugger off.

297. DUVAL
I still outrank you, milady. I won’t tolerateâ€"

PEREDUR STANDS.

298. PEREDUR
Couldn’t you both try to get along? Since you are, after all, the two people I love most in this world?

299. FLEUR
I brought the Stone.

Fleur, Duval & Peredur sit. Macbeth, Griff, Amp, LUNETTE, Coldstone & Hudson STAND.

300. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 8:13PM. KNIGHT’S SPUR.

301. MACBETH
I know it doesn’t matter, but I’m glad the Stone’s back in Scotland.

302. GRIFF
You lot should stay a while. Get to know the clan…

303. AMP
Yeah, mates, stay!

304. LUNETTE
Please!

305. COLDSTONE
But Coldsteel is still out there…

306. HUDSON
Aye, lad, but it’s a mighty big world, and even the banished and the badduns eventually return to the clan.

Macbeth, Griff, Amp, Lunette, Coldstone & Hudson sit. Stone, Peredur & GRAIL STAND.

307. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 16, 1:06AM. CASTLE CARBONEK. A frowning Peredur listens to the glowing stone.

308. STONE
…Pointless, Peredur fab Ragnal, to have gone to such extremes merely to possess… a rock.

309. NARRATOR
On APRIL 11, 1951, 1:07AM at ARBROATH ABBEY, on NOVEMBER 15, 1:07PM in a warehouse in LEITH, on NOVEMBER 15, 1:07AM in the LANTERN OF THE ABBEY, and on NOVEMBER 16, 1:07AM inside CASTLE CARBONEK, Macbeth, Xanatos, Arthur and Peredur listen to the glowing Stone of Destiny.

310. STONE
Do you think the Spirit of Destiny can be contained in one vessel? I am the Fatal Stone. The Lia Fáil. The Stone of Bethel and Jerusalem, of Egypt, Samothrace and Portugal… The Stone at Tara and of Mora, at Iona and of Scone, in London and in Edinburgh… I am the Blarney Stone, the Coronation Stone, the Hero Stone… I am the Pillar Stone, the Stone of the Sword, the Stone of the Waters, Clach-na-Cinneamhain… The Tanist Stone, the Philosopher’s Stone, the Standing Stone, the Cornerstone… The Foundation Stone, the Megalith Dance, the Burden of Sisyphus… I am the Rock of Gibraltar, the Pillar of Hercules, Uluru, Clach Sgàin… Jacob’s Pillow, the Rosetta Stone, the Rune Stone, Sire of the Wyrd… I AM THE MANTLE OF FATE… I AM THE STONE OF DESTINY… I AM THE ROCK OF AGES! Do not dream of possessing me, mortal.

311. NARRATOR

NOVEMBER 16, 1:07AM. CASTLE CARBONEK. Behind Peredur, Fleur listens from the doorway.

312. STONE
Besides, Peredur, don’t you have more important matters of concern… now that your Master has awakened?

313. PEREDUR
What?! King Arthur cannot be awake?!

314. STONE
Awake and returned. I have twice conversed with him.

315. PEREDUR
But we did not expect him for another two hundred years! Everything we planned--

316. STONE
Plans change.

317. PEREDUR
I must contact the Upper Echelons immediately!

318. NARRATOR
Peredur exits. Fleur is no longer in the doorway. The Stone is left alone with the Holy Grail.

319. STONE
Hey.

320. GRAIL
Hey.

Peredur, Stone & Grail sit. Thailog & Shari STAND.

321. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 16, 5:44AM EST. NIGHTSTONE UNLIMITED.

322. THAILOG
Checkmate.

323. SHARI
Very good. Should I continue?

324. THAILOG
Please.

325. SHARI
The story is told â€" though who can say if it be true â€" that the Stone was repaired and recovered. Some say a replica was reinstalled at Westminster; others disagree. Either way, the Stone remained undisturbed until yesterday, when it was transported to Edinburgh without incident…

326. THAILOG
And that’s all you know of the Stone of Destiny?

327. SHARI
Well, one last story is told--

328. NARRATOR
As the sun sets, Owen Burnett and Macbeth wait for Goliath to wake…

329. SHARI
--Though who can say if it be true?

Thailog & Shari sit.

THE END