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fav smart-ass response: in reply to aris's follow-up about one my latest whisper question
Oh, well if that's what you want, then the answer is...
Hey, was that you're plan all along? To appeal to my sense of perversion?
yeah, that questions been asked way too much. so you gonna tell us? j/k
nope
Here's one of my favorite smart-ass responses:
Anonymous writes...
do you know where i can find a picture of some neat looking gargoyles? like the ones out of a comic book.
Greg responds...
Nope. Have you tried comic books?
Yeah, that one's okay. I just wish I was wittier.
Okay, after going through the smart ass archive I know I definitly want to meet you in LA
My favorite was the guy swooning over Angela and your drawn out response.
-Sure, more power to you........Poor slob
My thoughts exactly. There's a world outside them for walls!
YES! Walls do deserve their own world.
Oh, wait. You meant "four walls" not "for walls". Sorry.
Here's one of my favorites from the "Smart-ass Responses" section, as per your request:
<<What Would Happen to a gargoyle in space?
Greg responds...
They'd explode in the void, just like a human.>>
I don't know. That just doesn't seem smart-ass enough to me. Almost to direct an answer. But thanks.
Greg, i love those smart-ass responses and it would be hard to choose one favirote, but i always thought that this one was pretty good:
-How do gargoyles view homosexuality?
-On cable, like the rest of us.
i also liked:
-After clones, superviruses, and mutates what could Sevarius possibly cook up next?
-Breakfast?
you sound like Xanatos in "The Edge" when he thinks he's lost his. i think you still have the edge in smart-ass responses, you are hilarious!
Thanks. I think the cable line is pretty good. "Breakfast?" seems a bit feeble though.
So, are you in the mood yet to tell us about Lexington's mate? :)
Knight to king's bishop four.
Where can I find pictures of the middle age Gargoyles?
I don't know. Where?
I'm feeling like my smart-ass responses just haven't been very sharp lately.
So appropos of nothing, I'm taking a poll.
If you've got a few minutes, go through the smart-ass response archive and copy and paste your favorite one.
Maybe if you guys point out the "classics" to me, it'll help me redefine my mission on this score.
Hey Greg what would your other self be doing right now in the gargoyles universe?
Writing about all you nutty humans, I guess.
hey Greg, what did Titania whisper to Fox in "The Gathering II"? how much would i have to pay you to send the answer to my email address? :)
Why would I tell you and no one else?
But how much are you offering?
One question that I found myself reminded of because of your piece about "you have to both see and hear magic in order for it to affect you" in "City of Stone". Now, I very much liked the concept because of it giving established rules for how magic works in the Gargoyles Universe, helping to give it its feeling of verisimilitude. But at the same time, I've occasionally wondered about just how universal that particular rule is.
First off, faerie magic clearly doesn't always follow this rule. In "The Mirror", Puck was able to transform humans into gargoyles and gargoyles into humans when they weren't able to see or hear him. In "The Gathering Part One", Oberon was able to put the whole city to sleep even though, again, the affected people were clearly not all seeing and hearing him. Of course, the above rule probably was only meant to apply to human magic anyway, so these exceptions don't count.
But the area that I do sometimes find myself wondering about is the Roman Magus's "spell of modesty" that you mentioned, back in the days of Caesar Augustus. Because it affected every gargoyle on the planet, including their descendants. But nearly all the gargoyle clans that we know of are from areas that weren't part of the Roman Empire: Britain (which was partly conquered by Rome, but only after Augustus's lifetime), the Far East (never a part of the Roman Empire), and Guatemala (beyond ancient Rome's very knowledge). Obviously, the gargoyles in those regions didn't see or hear the Roman Magus when he cast the spell, but were affected by him. (I assume that it was probably a very unusual, even unique case, though of course, I doubt that you feel ready yet to explain it to us). A small mystery that I thought that I'd mention here.
Mortal sorcery, yes. Not fae magic.
As for the modesty spell. Well, uh, hey, um, well, that was one darn POWERFUL magus. (Must have had the backing of ALL of Rome's Standard's and Practice's Executives.)
But seriously, he had help. The Archmage wasn't the first guy to combine magical artifacts.
okay, you told us to stop asking detail questions about the Puck created world in "Future Tense" cuz there were no details and Puck didn't work any harder than he had to so what about Maria Chavez's daughter? why was she included in Puck's ruse? i don't think Goliath had much of a relationship with Chavez and might not have known her, in fact, i don't see it as very likely that Goliath even saw that picture! so why did Puck include that detail? (lets see you get yourself out of this one. :) )
Goliath would recognize Chavez. Thus the importance of the photograph in "the daughter's" cart. If Goliath had made an effort, Puck would have given young Ms. Chavez more of a personality, with a sob story about her mother to further discomfit our boy.
(How was that? Amateur.)
Family Xanatos:
1. What are the middle names of David and Fox?
2. Will Alexander ever get a foxhead tattoo like his mom, as he did in FUTURE TENSE?
1. Alexander and Alexandra.
2. You never know.
Why is Angela so DAMN sexy? Oh I love her SO much! Dude, do you think she'd go for a blonde-haired punk? I mean, her own dad even went for a human, so maybe there's hope for me yet. Hmm...I bet you're gonna give me a smart-ass remark like "she's taken" or something cuz "gargoyles mate for life" BUT Demona proved that it is not true! Go me! Long live the beautiful Angela!
Hey, good luck, man. More power to you.
[Poor slob.]
Does the Holy Grail have anything to do with the Golden Cup Bakery? [*LOL*] :>
Shhhh.
If I were to ask you "Who is Nought", would you then reply "Who isn't?" as indicated at the top of the page?
I might, I guess. But since I did that before, I'd try to do something else clever instead.
(Uh, Joxter, you are really hard up for a question, aren't you?)
what happened to the Pack helicopter that Lex remodeled in"Her Brother's Keeper"? i can think of lots of times the gargs could have used although, i suppose they didn't have anywhere to keep it or the fuel, etc. to support it. so where did it go?
They turned it into a planter.
I've read that human blood is red because of the iron in our blood and the oxygen it carries react to each other. I assume that would be the case for gargoyles too, but what about the fey? Since iron is thier weakness, they probably don't have any in thier blood. So, what color blood would they have?
Red because of all the food dye they consume. :)
One thought of my own about the "fate/free will" argument. Somebody cited Demona in "Vows" as an example of this, arguing that because her future self who visits her in 975 is evil, Demona's doomed to become evil herself regardless of what she does.
Actually, my own thoughts on this was that the seeds of Demona's future character are already present even before Demona-1995 meets her. After all, she's already working for the Archmage, and stealing for him, suggesting that she'd started down that path already.
THANK YOU! Yes.
I'm not saying Demona didn't influence Demona. But Demona had a choice. And so did Demona. She chose to do certain things despite Goliath's warnings and so did Demona. :)
So Greg, which came first...The gargoyle or the egg?
I did.
Another "rambling" on my part, this time on Future Tense and its relationship to the actual events in the gargoyles' lives after the Avalon World Tour. As we all know, one of the big questions in the fandom is how much the events in "Future Tense" reflect the actual future in the Gargoyles Universe, thanks both to the fulfillment of two of them (in a way) before "The Journey" and Puck's little "Was it a dream or a prophecy?" remark (although I think that that line of his was done just to tease Goliath).
Now, two "prophecies" in "Future Tense" were fulfilled. Xanatos and Fox did have a son named Alexander Fox Xanatos, and the clock tower was destroyed. But I'm not so certain that either of these are quite so significant. As Owen, Puck would obviously know what the Xanatoses were planning to name their baby, after all. As for the clock tower, the destruction of the gargoyles' home would be a natural part of any "gloom-and-doom" scenario for them (not to mention that in the "Future Tense Universe", the clock tower would more likely have been destroyed by Xanatos or Lexington masquerading as Xanatos, rather than by the Canmores - whose existence Puck might not even have been aware of at that point).
Two "prophecies" that seem to be on their way to fulfillment in the future, based on your earlier MasterPlan comments, are the Ultra-Pack and the forty-year separation of Brooklyn and Goliath (brought about by the Avalon World Tour in the "Future Tense Universe", by Brooklyn's Timedancer adventures in the actual Gargoyles Universe). The first of these, of course, can again be easily explained: the Pack getting upgraded again does strike me as something that anyone who had paid close enough attention to their past career could have expected. The 40 years timedancing is a bit more of a poser, but I imagine that if you make enough statements about the future, a few are going to turn out correct, and the only real similarity is the "40 years" element (and the number forty has long held a certain symbolic significance, anyway - the rain that caused Noah's Flood lasted for forty days, the Israelites under Moses spent forty years wandering in the wilderness, etc.).
(The irony is that Brooklyn's Timedancing adventures would have to be the consequence of Puck's whole "Future Tense" vision to begin with, since they came about because Goliath threw the Phoenix Gate away into the Time-stream, which he did because of the "Future Tense" vision; a good case of a self-fulfilling prophecy).
(I've also spotted a possible fifth "twisted fulfillment" of a "Future Tense" event in the outline for "Gargoyles 2198" that you posted, but I'll wait until after the contest is over before naming it and asking you if you'd intended it as such - you can, of course, in the interim, have the fun of guessing which part of "Gargoyles 2198" I had in mind when I wrote this paragraph :)
And, of course, the way that things were going by the end of the series (at least by the end of "The Journey"), I think that we can safely conclude that Xanatos isn't going to declare war on the gargoyles, kill Hudson at the cost of his own life, drive the surviving members of the clan into the Labyrinth, and take over New York (to be succeeded after his death by a traitorous Lexington using him for a facade).
At least, that's my own two cents' worth on the relevance of "Future Tense" to the future of the Gargoyles Universe.
Sounds pretty good. But you're forgetting one thing.
What do the New Olympians do for entertainment?
Bungi Jump.
Do Kate Mulgrew and Laura San Giacomo know what Titiania whispered to Fox???
;-)
Ask them.
What new villains and antagonists that we've never seen earlier in other series would appear in Pendragon?
There's the amazing NEW GUY. He's terrifying.
Are gargoyles realy real?
You mispelled "really".
Also another question, how did Demona buy her house? Obviously she can't go up to a real estate agent and ask if she could have a tour of the house.
Stolen goods.
I just recently saw 'The Mirror' and when Demona's two 'hired help' went to deliver Titania's mirror, the thin one said 'Who lives here Dracula's daughter?' and the fat one responds by saying, 'Relax, I've done this before.'
My question is what was he delivering, if he was delivering anything, before?
Stolen goods.
What did the fay evolve from?
books
Emmle> My personal theory is that Titania said that Alex's diapers needed changing. Fox, never having changed nappies before, had the sudden urge to cry out: "Eaagh! *You* take him! Avalon's the place for him!"
(And, Todd, this is a joke - not a story idea: please don't delete it :-)
Anyway, I'd prefer if Greg never gives clues or reveals this particular bit of info in Ask Greg. Let's keep this tidbit a true mystery, the Thing That Will Remain Hidden even when all else is revealed.... :-)
Oh, well if that's what you want, then the answer is...
Hey, was that you're plan all along? To appeal to my sense of perversion?
please, please, give us hint as to what Titania whispered to Fox.
Why do you want to know?
what are Oberon's five favorite movies?
Anything with Groucho Marx. :)
Hey Greg.
I would just like to say that, after looking over your latest contest, you are a _very_ brave/devoted man. Thanks for another contest to keep us busy!
Why did Lex start a business?
Because it was there.
Given the nature of your recent clues, I think it's time for a slightly cheeky twist on an old question:
In "THE GATHERING", how many words did Titania whisper to Fox? :)
Do you mean how many letters?
Just a comment on the 2198 contest.
I logged in this morning, saw the contest, then I checked the asked queue. WOW. This is going to take a while to sort through. My thoughts went right to "Welcome to Wheel of Fortune!"
Anyway, Greg, may I buy a vowel?
Sure. I'm selling "E"s for $219.99.
A's, I's and O's are a bargain at three for $300.00
U's are $29.50
Y's and W's are free if you buy over five hundred dollars worth.
Make checks payable to--
Does Mab have any redeeming qualities?
Sure. Fresh breath.
In the Gargoyles Universe, how much truth is there in fortune cookies?
All cookies are true. Especially Peanut Butter cookies.
(This is my favorite question this month.)
Okay. I finally got around to ask this. [clears throat]
Do gargoyles need to go to the bathroom?
I figure, not. Since gargoyles turn to stone, stone should absorb everything and use it for energy. It would absorb the sun's rays and the energy the gargoyle got from the food he ate that night. Stone should use everything for energy..
Then again, I could be wrong, so I decided to ask Greg Weisman himself. [bows] So. Do they need to go to the bathroom or not? And if so, do they have to sneak into the police station to do so? :P
There's a bathroom in the clock tower. But I've never checked to see if it's been used.
1. Are you willing to tell us what spell Demona has left from the Gimora?
2. If so, what spell is it??
Michael
1. From the "Gimora"? Sure. It's a cool spell for making grapes outta raisons.
2. See above.
Does goliath ever go to the bathroom
Some decorum, please.
I don't think, despite your multiple attempts to evade the question, that anyone will stop until the real answer is given:
What did Anastacia whisper to Fox?
( ;) just thought I'd try again)
You misspelled Anastasia.
After clones, mutates and superviruses, what on earth could Sevarius possibly cook up next?
Breakfast?
I heard about your "Hobgoblins of little minds" episode that you never got round to making. I found this in the big archives, and I was wondering what it was and what was about. I've searched the old and new archives and can't find anything on it except a little post where someone asks about in Possession, why Iago soul went from Brooklyn's body to Coldsteel through the torso, but Desdemona and Othello went through the mouths of the robots.
You responded by saying:
"Not an error. Two ways of visualizing the same basic event. Neither are wrong, but don't read too much significance into it. "A petty consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson ;)
Someday someone should ask me about the "HOBGOBLIN OF LITTLE MINDS" episode that I never got around to doing."
Well is now a good time to ask about the "Hobgoblin of little minds.
Why didn't I just ask you that in the first place?
I'm not sure why. Get back to me on that.
Finding myself lost in that massive "Old Ask Greg Archive," I stumbled across a mention of a missing World Tour episode featuring Coldstone in the Himalayas. What would've happened there?
An entire story.
More of my idle curiosity...
The oldest known legend about vampires comes from ancient Greece, where they were known as Vrykolakes-- uncorrupted human corpses inhabited by the spirit of a demon.
That's something nifty I know about vampire mythology... Will you tell me something nifty you know about vampires in the Gargoyles' universe?
They have soulful eyes.
Greg-
Who is older- Broadway or Hippolyta?
Broadway's over a thousand at this point. Hippolyta's dead. So that's a tough one.
Is it more than a coincidence that Hakon and his descendant Wolf both just happen to be enemies of Goliath? i mean it is a pretty big coincidence isn't it?
Not in my universe, pal.
(More like destiny.)
Hi Greg, I wasted no time. The chat just ended.
So, care to talk about Hyppolyta?
C'mon, Greg, I can't make it that easy.
Did everyone survive the crash of Fortress I or there were casualties?
I'm not saying until the families can be notified.
Just thought that I might tell you that I was very amused (LOL), in fact, by your answer to the question about whether pigs can fly in the Gargoyles Universe ("I've got the bacon, do you have the catapult?") - particularly since I'd never imagined firing pigs from a catapult as a means of accomplishing that feat.
Then you don't watch enough Monty Python.
Will the season continue in the future?
Like fall, spring, winter and summer? I hope so.
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