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Blaise writes...
GATHERING OF THE GARGOYLES
CON-JOURNAL
DAY 3
SUNDAY AUGUST 23, 2009
Got up at 7:30, still a bit groggy, and got to the Hilton by 9AM. I spent the next hour wandering around and talking to a few attendees and friends (I apologize to you all, but I can't remember who right now).
At 10AM, I attended the panel on "'Gargoyles': the Production Process." I wish I had taken notes, because now I find I can barely remember much about that panel (maybe that's because I'm writing this fairly late in the day and coming down from my "Gathering High" as it were). I do remember a great deal of credit for how "Gargoyles" turned out was given to Jay Fukuto. I remember Greg W. and Frank Paur talking about how much they argued during the run of the show. Frank mentioning that the "team" Disney's marketing people said went to New York City for reference shots consisted solely of him and his camera. And Greg W. remarking yet again about the unreliability of focus testing. I think it was THIS panel (and if not, then it was the Writers' one) where Greg told the story of how the guys behind "Kim Possible" had to do focus testing THREE TIMES (each one about 6 weeks apart) before Disney TV would green light their show.
Next was the Production Process panel for "The Spectacular Spider-Man." And yes, right away we got to see some of the scenes that had to be cut for time. Apparently, the Chameleon DID try to break Beck and Mason out, but they were already gone. One thing that was highlighted was that an episode of SS-M had a much smaller budget than an episode of "Gargoyles." That was why the part of the Big Man/Tombstone had to be recast rather than having Keith David phone patched like on "Gargoyles." Also, a very large reason they were able to get away with so much was because they technically didn't have a network to deal with until the script and most of the animation was finished.
Next, I made the decision to go get lunch (a six-inch seafood sandwich from Subway) and take a look at some of the items in the Dealer's Room, then catch the last 45 minutes of the Composers' panel. I loved some of the artwork, especially the Disney Princesses as gargoyles, Wendy Pini's drawing of the clan, Jade Griffin's Gummi Goyles, and so many others. I also finally caught a look at all the merchandise on the back table. Damn. If I had just a *little* more disposable income...*sigh*.
Anyway, sat in on the last part of the Composers' panel, and kind of wished I could have seen the whole thing (especially after hearing other people talk about it). I at least made it in time to see the examples of clips from the SS-M, first with no music or sound effects (just voices), and then with the whole sound track. I will admit, I did not know how huge of an influence Shirley Walker was on music in the animation industry. Carl Johnson regrets not being able to personally score the scene in which Elisa is turned into a gargoyle (it was edited by Marc Perlman--whose name I hope I spelled right).
"Writing in Television Animation" was up next, with even more guests, including Michael Reaves who, due to his Parkinson's disease, had to speak through first Bob Skir, and then his daughter Mallory (who arrived a bit after him). Somehow, his wit and humor managed to still make it through. I remember asking if the panelists thought that animated action shows in recent years were moving more towards continuity between episodes (can't quite recall the full answer, though). There was some discussion of how Story Editors and/or Supervising Producers interact with writers of individual episodes. Someone brought up the rather small ratio of women writers to men writers for animated action shows (and how there seems to be more women writers for comedy and preschool shows). And...unfortunately I'm blanking on the rest right now.
I attended Wendy Pini's panel on "Adapting Stories From Novels to Film." In her case it was more about graphic novels, and she talked about the "ElfQuest" film that's in development right now. She had a great deal to say about the process of adaptation, and how different mediums call for different styles, especially in regards to pacing. I brought up the "CBS debacle," mostly because I never get tired of hearing the strange way TV executives think. Crispin Freeman and his wife were also there, largely as audience and support. I recall the subject of voice acting coming up, and Crispin saying that if he were to cast himself in it, he would *want* to be Cutter, but feels he would be a better fit for Rayak or Strongbow.
At the end of the panel, which was mostly about "ElfQuest" and other comic/graphic novel to film adaptations, Wendy mentioned that she had wanted to talk more about "Gargoyles."
A little while later was the Banquet. There was a lot of good food there (I particularly liked the garlic mashed potatoes, the salmon, and the cheese cake). For the guests at my table we had Crispin Freeman, his wife (no, unfortunately, I didn't catch her name) and Wendy Pini. They were great, and I felt I had some great conversations with both Crispin and Wendy. Among other things, I complimented Wendy on her drawing of the clan. I mentioned to Crispin that one of his characters has inspired an Internet meme (kind of a popular repeated phrase), which led to a fun story about how the sound engineer for that show had left a clip of Crispin's voice work (when his character was acting particularly crazy) on Crispin's answering machine!
After the meal, instead of a trivia contest, we did a final Q&A with all the guests. Strangely enough, most of the questions were directed at Greg Weisman. It was at about this time that Thom Adcox FINALLY arrived and helped himself to some dinner (I forgot to mention, he was also late to the Blue Mug on Saturday...and he brought one of his dogs, practically derailing the whole thing with its cuteness).
After that, everyone left to prepare for the Masquerade and Dance. On his way out, Crispin Freeman mentioned his voice acting workshops and that one is next month. If I can gather enough funds, I intend to attend.
While waiting for the Masquerade to begin, I spoke at length with Greg Bishansky, and eventually Landon, Matt, Harvester of Eyes, Ben Diskin, and Lucas McLain (not all at the same time, of course). Mostly we just talked about the developments of the comic, aspects of the con, and how cool the guests were.
This year's Masquerade was small, but there were some very nice costumes. I really liked Aaron's Jackal (I especially loved his "cyber-eye"), and...that blue thing (AARRGH, what was his name!). King Arthur gave a great Shakespearean style speech (AWAY from the judges, unfortunately), and Zehra looked INCREDIBLE as Shari. Of course the "AWWW" cute moment was Jade Griffin (as Fox) carrying out her baby, who was dressed in Alexander's Halloween costume (and man, that kid loved to crawl!).
We also got to see some music videos, including one by Greg Bishansky which made a medley of the themes to SS-M and "Gargoyles." The funniest one was "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from "Little Mermaid"...with Puck singing Ursula and (of all people) DEMONA as Ariel!
Well, the awards were given out, and people began dancing (well, some anyway, the rest of us just talked or went to bed). I asked Greg who he felt should voice Peredur (Jude Law) and who he wanted to voice Falstaff (John Goodman, initially, but maybe more British...). I shook hands with Keith David and mentioned how sad I was that this was the last Gathering. "You never know," he said. And he's right. Who can say what the future holds? I, for example, hope to act alongside him someday.
At 11PM I made my way back home and tried to get a decent 7 hours of sleep.
My fourth and final con-journal...will be posted tomorrow. Right now, I'm too close to sleep to make a truly coherent entry.
Greg responds...
I'm feeling all nostalgic...
Nyx Goldstone writes...
So, a multi-part question!
Having done the final Gathering on a seriously tight budget, I was unable to get the 3 comic volumes (Clan Building vol 1 and 2, and Bad Guys) which I really wanted copies of to have you sign. Now, as far as my limited knowledge goes, I feel I've lost my opportunity.
My questions are: Is there a way I can purchase signed copies directly from you? If not, is there a way to get you to sign the copies I do purchase?
Greg responds...
I don't sell this stuff -- except at the rare convention appearance, like CONvergence.
But you can read my response to the previous question or come see me at Comic-Con. (I'm at the SLG booth most every year.)
Blaise writes...
GATHERING OF THE GARGOYLES
CON-JOURNAL
DAY 2
SATURDAY AUGUST 22, 2009
I'm glad I don't have to get up at 4:50AM every day. I wanted to give the dog a fairly long walk that morning because I knew I wouldn't have time that evening.
I got to the Hilton at a little after 9AM and signed up for Josh Keaton's Mug-A-Guest (I had considered Keith David's, but that was already full). Josh was cool, and I'm not just saying that because we share the same first name (and I finally learned how they avoided confusion when both he and Josh Lebar are working on the same day). One thing both he and Ben Diskin had in common, they both started acting at a very young age (3 for one, 6 for another), largely because they already had some family member in the business. I mention this only because I'm around the same age as them and I'm still trying to break into the darn business.
After another bagel for lunch, I attended Crispin Freeman's "Anime Mythology" panel on "Knights and Dragons." Being a dragon fanboy, this one was a joy. I had already known about the differences between so-called Western and Eastern dragons, but this was the first time I heard somebody actually analyze what these creatures say about the cultures they sprang from, and how they influence their respective media. I was surprised when he pointed out how a difference in dialogue between the Japanese script and the English dub of "Spirited Away" showcased this difference. I was also pleasantly surprised when he brought up "Vision of Escaflowne" as one of his favorite animes (it's one of mine, too!).
After this, I attended BOTH voice acting panels. The "Gargoyles" one was special not for the number of guests it had, but because it was the first one attended by Marina Sirtis, the voice of Demona herself. Of course, there were also Greg Weisman, Jamie Thomason, Thom Adcox (naturally), Keith David (with his GREAT laugh) and, a little later on, Elisa Gabrielli. I got to ask a question (or rather series of questions) that I usually put to all the voice actors at these things: "What episode/scene was the most challenging/fun/fulfilling?" Greg W. reminded me that the series was 15 YEARS AGO, so that might be a difficult question to answer. But Marina had no trouble stating what annoyed her the most: "The effing impact grunts." I learned something very important in that panel: if you do something she does not like, she will throw Jolly Ranchers at you. And Thom stated, yet again, his reasons for why he did not care for the Avalon world tour arc: largely, that he wasn't in most of those episodes (in his own words, "Avalon SUCKS!"). Well, that'll teach him to go out and buy a new car. Keith got to say a couple of his favorite lines ("I've been denied everything..."), though not with as much volume as I'm sure he would have liked. Also, Marina and Greg have two different versions of how she was cast as Demona (she maintains she came in on two separate days, he says it was just the one). There was also the story of how Jonathan Frakes was briefly fired by Greg's bosses because the cast recorded at a hell-hole of a studio. It was great fun.
So was the "Spectacular Spider-Man" panel. There were...a LOT of voice actors for this one, including a few who overlapped from the "Gargoyles" panel. In fact, there were so many that I couldn't help but feel that there weren't enough questions to properly involve all of them. I thought the revelation that Daran Norris needed two microphones when he was recording both the Jamesons (because J. Jonah is SO LOUD) was fascinating. I asked those who did multiple voices what their process was for differentiating them. Phil Lamarr talked about the difficulty of making two voices (those of the Robertsons) sound distinct and yet related (something Daran Norris had to figure out, too), while Steve Blum mentioned that he just had so many voices in his head that he needed the work to get them out.
I forgot to mention that, in between the panels, I went to check on the cast for the radio play. Since EVERY ONE of the voice guests said yes, there were only a handful of roles for the fans. I was quite happy to get one of them, and after the panels, the rehearsal began.
It was a Gathering-Original script. A crossover between "Gargoyles" and the "Spectacular Spider-Man" written to take full advantage of ALL 16 GUESTS who said they would do it. I was quite surprised to find that I was cast as Zaphiro (a character with a Spanish accent!). We only had enough time to run through the 78-page script (that's FEATURE LENGTH) once, and then a quick break before the beginning of the radio play.
It was a BLAST! The script was full of in-jokes (a lot of them breaking the fourth wall), but even managed to pack in an excellent bit of drama. But no where else will you hear Lexington mention porn on the internet, or hear Demona refer to Elisa as Goliath's "human whore." Steve Blum talked to himself, as did Thom Adcox (I hoped people picked up on the slight difference between Lexington and Tinkerer--and I loved when Lex mentioned Homunculus #5's annoying voice--said Homunculus ALSO voiced by Thom). For my part, aparantly I managed to pull off the Spanish accent well enough. Elisa Gabrielli was kind enough to offer me some pointers on a particular line of Spanish (yeah, I also had a few words and lines entirely in Spanish).
At the end I got kudos from many fans, and even a few of the pros.
I had really wanted to attend the panel on "Rope Bondage 101" but I needed to hurry back to my canine charge to feed him his evening meal if I wanted to make it back in time for the Blue Mug. I just barely managed to make it, and got to ask one question that I felt was appropriate given that this was the last Blue Mug: how it all got started. The short answer is it grew out of the regular Mug-A-Guest when they wanted to keep that family-friendly. Anyway, about an hour in, Greg had to hit the bathroom, and that bastard Edmund Tsabard seized the opportunity to come in and make the Blue Mug about "Blue Mug Productions." The one thing I got from his section of the panel was that if you want the smut, you have to "SPEND THE MONEY!" All I can say about the third page of "Last Tengu in Paris" is, "GREAT GOOGLEY MOOGLEY!" Anyway, about an hour later, after the questions dried up, Edmund left and Greg FINALLY came back. Unfortunately, it was about 11PM and I had to get back to my friend's house to be there to greet him and give over care of the dog. He came in at 1AM, and I was back in my own home and asleep by about 2AM.
Greg responds...
Joshua, I just want to thank you again. We cast you as Zafiro cuz we knew you could handle it (accent and all). And you totally pulled it off.
oneuke writes...
CON-JOURNAL
OF A SORT
Never having truly posted to this site before (or any other for that matter) I thought that now would be an appropriate time to speak of the Gathering. I won’t bore you with memories like the look and grief I gave my brother (a PhD in Bio-chem.) who told me about a really well written Disney cartoon and the humble pie I ate after watching the first show. Or the joy my oldest daughter experienced after asking a question of Keith David at the 2001 con and he responded by giving his famous line “I’ve been denied everything, even my REVENGE.†Caiti was 8 at the time. Or of how my youngest daughter, Ally, started watching Gargoyles when she was 2 and became instantly enraptured with Lexington. Then heard his voice 2 years later in the dealer’s room, shouted out “It’s Lexington†and ran over to hug a complete and somewhat startled stranger (Thanks for being so understanding, both then and now, Thom). Or…but I digress.
And so, as per Greg’s request, and with apologies to W.S.:
Why so sad, coz?
This is the time call'd the Gathering of Gargoyles.
And he or she that shares this meet, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this time is nam'd,
And rouse at the name of Gargoyles.
He that shares this time, and sees old episodes,
Will yearly on the vigil recount to his clan,
And say ‘Tis the time of the Gathering.'
Then will he bring out his memories and show his photos,
And say 'These friends I met and these moments I had on this day.'
The old forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What adventures he had that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Greg the Creator, Keith, Salli and Thom,
Michael and Marina, Bill, Ed and Jeff-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his clan;
And the time of Gathering shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we clan of brothers;
For he or she to-day that shares this time with me
Shall be my brother; be he or she ne'er so far,
This day shall bring them near;
And those who stayed away
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold themselves cheap whiles any speaks
That Gathered on this final meet.
Thanks for the memoriesâ€"may there be many more to follow.
(Hey, Greg's not the only one who can borrow from Shakespeare)
Greg responds...
I LOVE THAT!!! Thanks...
Blaise writes...
GATHERING OF THE GARGOYLES
CON-JOURNAL
DAY 1
FRIDAY AUGUST 21, 2009
Well, Greg, you asked for the con-journals to be posted. And here I am at home with the evening ahead of me, so I may as well oblige. I will be writing largely from memory, so I apologize in advance to anyone whom I may forget.
My day started fairly early--about 5AM. This was because I was house/dog-sitting for a friend. This overlapped with the first two days of the Gathering, so I had to juggle my responsibilities with the convention. That meant getting up early enough to give the dog a good, long walk and feed him before heading off to the Gathering (and this is a BIG dog, with a LOT of energy, who does NOT like being left alone).
At any rate, I managed to make it to the registration desk at a little before 10AM, and apparently became the first attendee to receive my badge! I spent the first 2 or so hours just wandering around and meeting both old friends (like Greg Bishansky) and folk I had only met online (like Harvester of Eyes).
At 12PM (after munching a bagel with cream cheese for lunch), I attended the "Drawing Comics" panel hosted by Karine Charlebois. It was an informative look at translating Greg's comic scripts to a page in a comic book. This included:
-having to turn a one-panel scene with TWO actions in the script into two separate panels.
-the importance of character positioning during dialogue.
-keeping track of where everyone is during a battle sequence (even to the point of having a map of the area so you will know where the "camera" is facing at any given time).
-the differences in layout between American comics and European comics.
After that, I really wanted to attend the "Machiavelli on 'Gargoyles'" panel, but I had too many other things to do. For starters, I had to audition for the Radio Play. True to the nature of the radio play itself, the audition sides contained BOTH "Gargoyles" and "Spectacular Spider-Man" sides. I had considered reading Brooklyn (my favorite garg), but I decided that others could do the "heroic-snarker" role better than myself, so I chose a more extreme character: the Green Goblin. The audition sheet also asked if one was capable of imitating a Spanish/Hispanic accent (I marked "No"), and if one was capable of emitting a "Ghoul Shriek" (I marked "Yes").
One fun audition and shriek later, I ducked into the Dealer's Room to pick up a copy of "Clan-Building: Vol. II." I read the darn thing until 3PM when it was time for Ben Diskin's Mug-A-Guest, which I had signed up for.
Ben Diskin is a great guy; very approachable, easy going, with a great sense of humor. He had a number of funny stories, including a voice session for "Kids Next Door" where Tom Kenny played Santa Claus (and went a *little* off book while the director and engineers weren't listening). I have to agree with Greg B., though--it's amazing that Venom's voice comes from such a skinny guy!
After heading out to Rubio's on CityWalk for a little dinner (and finishing CB:V2), I returned to the hotel and waited for Opening Ceremonies, which were running a little late. Thus, I spent the time talking with several people, such as Greg B., Phoenician, Lucas McLain (I'm sorry, I can't remember your net name!), Guardian, Matt, and others I'm forgetting, I'm sure.
Opening ceremonies were great. There was, of course, a bit of sadness that this would be the last one. On the plus side, since this WAS the last one, Greg Weisman and the members of the staff (OTHER THAN Jen Anderson and Patrick Toman), decided to break the rule that staff members could not be "Fan Guest of Honor" and gave that distinction to both Jen and Patrick for their YEARS of work to keep the Gathering going and "Gargoyles" alive.
Greg did his usual spiel about how "Gargoyles" came to be, and showed the videos he had shown for Opening Ceremonies over the years. Now, as I understand it, for the past few Gatherings, Greg would show one video one year (one version of the pitch, one version of the promo), and would show its counterpart the next year (for variety). This year, being the last, he showed them ALL! So I got to see at least one video I had not seen before: a version of the pitch read by Jim Cummings, and with some artwork not seen in the other version (the one on the first season DVD set). After these, the reconstructed "Dark Ages" and "New Olympians" pitches, and the "Bad Guys" leica reel, we saw the fan constructed animatic for the "Team Atlantis" episode, "The Last." A great deal of progress has been made since 2006 (my previous Gathering), with only a few blank spots left to fill (and it sounds like work will continue on it, with or without the Gathering). Watching the videos was kind of bittersweet, since I don't know when I'll be able to see them again.
Inevitably, Opening Ceremonies ended, and I made my way back to my friend's house to walk and feed the dog and try to get a few hours of sleep.
Greg responds...
Wow, it seems so long ago already...
Natan writes...
Hi Greg!
I'm a big fan of Spectacular Spidey, and just like everyone else here, I really hope the show gets renewed and lasts for a really long time.
My question is, IF the show is not renewed, or IF the show ends earlier than you anticipate - will you continue the show in comic book form (similar to how you did with Gargoyles)? Or maybe continue the show with a series of straight to DVD movies?
Thank You!!! Best of luck with the show!!
Oh yeah - I was at the Spidey panel for Comic Con - great stuff.
Unfortunately I couldn't make it to The Gathering - is this a yearly convention also, or is it just a one time thing?
Thanks again!!!
Greg responds...
The Gathering WAS an annual convention, but it's over now... at least for the foreseeable future.
As for continuing Spec Spidey, it's not up to me. But I'd love to.
Bazell writes...
This is not a question, but nevertheless:
I'm sitting here in Michigan, really disappointed that I'm not at the Gathering. Lame.
Greg responds...
Sorry we missed you.
Todd Jensen writes...
I've heard that the radio play at the Gathering this year will be (or was, by the time you read this) a crossover between "Gargoyles" and "The Spectacular Spider-Man", which apparently you wrote. If this is true and you did indeed write it, I wonder how you felt about writing that encounter between two sets of characters you've worked on. (I do suspect that it wasn't hard to get them to meet, since both series are set in Manhattan!)
Greg responds...
It was fun, but, frankly, a brutal chore as I did not have nearly enough time to write the script.
G2009 Radio Play
G2009 Radio Play - Act Three
672. NARRATOR
Act Three.
673. DEMONA
Norman Osborn was a fool. So obsessed with the power of science, he kept the Crown of Thorns in this vault as if it was just another souvenir â€" albeit an expensive one â€" to hang upon his wall. But with the Crown and the Spear of Destiny together, I now have the power to force all of humanity to its knees.
674. GOLIATH
These are Christian icons, Demona. Not every human being is a Christian.
675. DEMONA
Not every human being speaks Latin, but that didn’t stop me from using a Latin spell to turn a city-full of humans to stone. The magic I wield is potent beyond measure. Mine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory. No human may resist. No human will be spared. None will be spared who oppose me. Just look at this fool…
676. GOLIATH
Her name is Obsidiana.
677. DEMONA
Of course it is. For she wears the mystic Obsidian pendant fashioned by human sorcerers. Even that is enough to put her in my thrall. She has relinquished her gargoyle birthright.
678. GOLIATH
I have relinquished nothing.
679. NARRATOR
Demona waves the Spear of Destiny, and Electro rises and blasts Goliath back into the wall.
680. GOLIATH
<impact>
681. DEMONA
Yes, I’m surprised you’re unaffected… since you reek of humanity. The stink of your human whore is in your hair, on your lips, everywhere. And nothing in this world will give me more pleasure, Goliath, than watching your detective on her knees to me, as she draws her service revolver and thanks me with tears of joy in her eyes… before gratefully blowing out her own brains.
682. GOLIATH
(coldly furious)
That will never be.
683. DEMONA
No? My power expands with every second. I doubt she’s far away.
684. GOLIATH
You will not harm Elisa.
685. NARRATOR
Goliath advances on Demona. Electro blasts away, but Goliath will not be stopped…
686. DEMONA
No one ever said you weren’t persistent, Goliath. But what do you hope to gain?
687. GOLIATH
(through gritted teeth)
I will turn these forces back upon you.
688. DEMONA
Impossible. I am the last true gargoyle left on this world. The Crown’s magicks cannot touch me.
689. GOLIATH
So you believe. But I am not the only one who reeks of humanity. Am I… Dominique?!
690. NARRATOR
Goliath grasps the crown. The thorns bite into his hands, drawing blood. They struggle for control of the immense power…
691. GOLIATH, DEMONA
<roaring to the heavens>
692. SPIDER-MAN
<moan>
693. NARRATOR
Goliath’s intervention â€" and his complete immunity to the Crown’s effects â€" creates the smallest of fluctuation in Demona’s control. In a haze, Spider-Man lifts his arm…
694. SPIDER-MAN
Thwip.
695. NARRATOR
He shoots off a web, yanking the bloody crown from Demona’s head.
696. DEMONA
Noooooo!!!!
697. NARRATOR
There is a massive explosion of mystic energy and light! Demona, Goliath and Electro collapse.
698. GOLIATH
<moan>
699. SPIDER-MAN
Goliath…
700. GOLIATH
The Spear… the Crown…
701. SPIDER-MAN
Gone. I think they… blew up. Calypso’s gone too. But I’m betting that’s just a talent of hers. And I’d guess she’s taken Kraven and the pussycat with her.
702. DEMONA
<unconscious moan>
703. SPIDER-MAN
But the Big Bad’s still here…
704. GOLIATH
(sadly)
Leaving behind, as always, nothing but a handful of thorns…
Goliath, Spider-Man and Demona sit. Jonah, Elisa, Matt and George STAND.
705. NARRATOR
While Goliath helps Obsidiana, Spidey webs up Demona, Electro and Ock. In the outer vault, Zafiro and the Trio recover, finding only an unconscious and de-venomed Eddie Brock. Outside, the bad guys have all been beaten. Goblin and Vulture, their tech badly damaged, barely manage to fly away. Carnage and Jupiter are once again Cletus and John.
706. JONAH
I’m here, Johnny. Your old Pop’s here…
707. ELISA
Matt…
708. MATT
Call an ambulance, Elisa. Old Man Dracon said something about seeing a light. Then he collapsed. A stroke or something. I’ve been giving him C.P.R.
709. ELISA
Matt… Matt! You can stop. Stop. He’s gone.
710. GEORGE
You’re gargoyles are flying off, Detective.
711. MATT
(breathing hard)
Really? Not sure I see ‘em myself. But is that Spidey web-slinging away?
712. GEORGE
You think? I must have missed him?
Margot STANDS.
713. MARGOT
Are you all blind?! They’re right over there!
714. GEORGE, MATT, ELISA (UNISON)
Oh, give it a rest, Margot…
Elisa, Matt, George, Margot and Jonah sit. Peter, May, Harry and Gwen STAND.
715. NARRATOR
Back at the bus…
716. PETER
I’m back. And not a single decent picture to show for my efforts.
717. MAY
Well, you tried your best, Peter. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will appreciate that.
718. PETER
Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetheart that way.
719. NARRATOR
Emily Osborn watches as her son finally emerges from the bathroom.
720. GWEN
Harry?
721. HARRY
Hey, Gwen. I feel much better.
Harry, Gwen, Peter and May sit. Jonah and Robbie STAND.
722. NARRATOR
Later that night, at The Bugle…
723. JONAH
Whaddayou mean I can’t publish it?! How else can I make them all pay for what they did to Johnny!
724. ROBBIE
You can’t publish because the authorities refuse to comment. We have no pictures or statements to corroborate a story that includes gargoyles, a dead Green Goblin and everything except the kitchen sink. No one will believe it. I was there, and I don’t believe it! Print this, Jonah, and The Bugle becomes the next Daily Tattler.
725. JONAH
Ms. Brant, call the bomb squad. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!
Jonah and Robbie sit. Gwen, Peter, Kong, Curt, Harry, EMILY OSBORN and Mary Jane STAND.
726. NARRATOR
Later still, aboard OsCorp’s private jet en route to Miami…
727. GWEN
I still can’t believe we ran into you in the airport parking lot, Doctor Connors.
728. PETER
Yeah, and we’re so sorry you got mugged.
729. KONG
Dude, they took your shoes?! That’s hilarious! <laughs>
730. CURT
Yes, well, I just really appreciate the ride back to Florida…
731. HARRY
Anytime, Doctor C. Anytime.
732. EMILY
Harry, could I have a moment… in your father’s office?
733. HARRY
Uh, sure, Mom.
Curt, Kong and Gwen sit.
734. MARY JANE
Pete, help.
735. PETER
What’s wrong?
736. MARY JANE
Tiny. Cute enough, but it’s like talking to a tree stump.
737. PETER
Tried to warn you.
738. MARY JANE
Just say we’ll spend the week as a threesome, okay, Tiger.
739. PETER
Sure!
740. MARY JANE
Not that kind of threesome.
Mary Jane and Peter sit.
741. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Harry follows his mother Emily into the jet’s private office.
742. EMILY
I know you were playing at being the Goblin, Harry.
743. HARRY
What?! Mom, that’s crazy! I was in the bathroom…
744. EMILY
Don’t lie to me, baby. You hired the worst chauffer in the city to delay our progress. You had a secret hatch installed in the bus bathroom, so you could slip in and out undetected. And you left a pre-recorded “vomit tape†with voice recognition software. All very impressive for a sixteen-year-old. But you need to understand… the Green Goblin is not what your father wanted for you.
745. HARRY
I have no idea what Dad wanted for me…
746. EMILY
Then let him tell you…
747. NARRATOR
She slips a DVD into the computer and Norman Osborn appears on screen…
NORMAN OSBORN STANDS.
748. NORMAN
Harry, my son. If you are watching this, then I am dead. And I have instructions…
Norman, Emily and Harry sit. Big Man, Blackie and SHARI STAND.
749. NARRATOR
Meanwhile at the Big Man’s office, he and Blackie Gaxton are visited by Shari, a young woman wearing a pendant depicting an eye atop a pyramid…
750. BIG MAN
Thirty-six.
751. BLACKIE
Thirty-five.
752. SHARI
Nine. Any problems?
753. BIG MAN
Not particularly. Ms. Destine was ready to believe I could find Dracon and the others useful.
754. BLACKIE
And that faux Goblin was happy to believe I’d been fooled into thinking he was the real thing.
755. NARRATOR
Blackie removes his false face, revealing that he is actually the Chameleon in disguise.
756. CHAMELEON
Just as he was happy to believe I was the real Blackie Gaxton. But I’m still not sure why the Society wanted all this…?
757. SHARI
Isn’t it enough to know the Illuminati appreciates your efforts?
CHAMELEON and Big Man sit. THAILOG, BRENTWOOD, Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 And Homunculus #3 STAND.
758. NARRATOR
Shari leaves Lincoln’s office and pulls out her cellphone…
759. SHARI
Dial Nightstone Unlimited.
760. THAILOG
Alexander Thailog.
761. SHARI
The Spear? The Crown?
762. THAILOG
Waiting for you to send to Duval.
763. BRENTWOOD
Brentwood capture little robot. Use it to control other little robots. When bright light shine, robots take spear and crown.
764. SHARI
Lovely.
765. THAILOG
What should we do with the Homunculi?
766. SHARI
Set them free. Maybe they’ll get their own series some day.
767. HOMUNCULUS #1
Free, free, set them free…
768. HOMUNCULUS #2
On basic cable and DVD…
769. HOMUNCULUS #3
Jazz hands!
Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Shari, Thailog and Brentwood sit. Elisa and Goliath STAND.
770. NARRATOR
At the castle, Elisa’s cell rings.
771. ELISA
Maza… Yeah, Captain Stacy said you might call. Sure, he’s right here.
772. NARRATOR
She hands the phone to Goliath, who doesn’t quite know how to hold it. She takes it back and puts the call on speaker.
773. GOLIATH
Hello…?
Spider-Man STANDS.
774. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, Goliath. It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
775. GOLIATH
You protect your… neighborhood.
776. SPIDER-MAN
Just like you do the super-hero thing without the tights.
777. GOLIATH
Spider-Man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
778. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, I was just gonna say that. You saw that movie too?
779. GOLIATH
Movie?
780. ELISA
God, I love you… <kiss>
Elisa, Goliath and Spider-Man sit. Kafka STANDS.
781. NARRATOR
And finally â€" yes, finally â€" we end where we began. In the offices of Dr. Ashley Kafka at Ravencroft. She’s on the phone to her Board of Directors.
782. KAFKA
After all that tsuris, little has changed. Otto and Eddie are still disassociative. Max still needs a cure, and John still wants power. Cletus? He just keeps repeating, “I got a taste now,†over and over. Yes, we lost Dominic, I’m afraid. But we do have a new patient…
Dominique STANDS.
783. KAFKA (CONT)
…Dominique Destine.
784. DOMINIQUE
Just wait until the sun goes down…
Dominique and Kafka sit.
785. NARRATOR
The End.
THE END
NEXT: I finally get back to answering questions...
G2009 Radio Play
G2009 Radio Play - Act Two
BIG MAN STANDS.
247. NARRATOR
Act Two. The Big Man of Crime enters his offices, but finds he’s not alone…
248. BIG MAN
You spend so much time here, I’ll need to buy you your own chair. So you’ll stay out of mine.
Green Goblin STANDS.
249. GREEN GOBLIN
Surprised to see me?
250. BIG MAN
Not particularly.
251. GREEN GOBLIN
Then you won’t be surprised to learn I’m still running things…
252. BIG MAN
If you can run them from a hospital bed…
253. NARRATOR
Catching Gobby off guard, Lincoln punches him right through the window…
254. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact grunt>
255. NARRATOR
The goblin-glider swoops in and catches the Goblin, who pulls out a Pumpkin Bomb.
PUMPKIN BOMB STANDS.
256. GREEN GOBLIN
Ever the gracious host. And ever the gracious guest, the Goblin must show his appreciation. Here. I brought a gift.
257. NARRATOR
Gobby throws his “giftâ€, but Goliath swoops in, catches it and throws it back.
Goliath and Spider-Man STAND.
258. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
259. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact>
260. NARRATOR
Not far away…
261. SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, no, no… I was hoping I’d never hear that trademark Pumpkin Bomb shriek again…
262. NARRATOR
Spidey swings in to find Goliath and a recovering Gobby together…
263. SPIDER-MAN
So that’s what these gargoyles are… more of the Goblin’s Halloween creations…
264. NARRATOR
Spidey swings into action against Goliath.
265. GOLIATH, SPIDER-MAN
<ad-lib battle sounds>
266. GOLIATH
The Bugle was right about you: you are a threat and a menace!
267. SPIDER-MAN
Wait, you can talk? And read?! And what you read is the Jolly One’s editorials?!
268. GREEN GOBLIN
I know I should assassinate Mr. Lincoln. But I’m so enjoying the show. Really, someone should make more Gargoyles. I know: I’ll call Walt Disney.
Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Goliath, Pumpkin Bomb and Big Man sit. ANGELA, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY and LEXINGTON STAND.
269. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, atop the Eyrie Building, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway watch Angela playing with Brooklyn’s son Nashville…
270. ANGELA
That’s great, Nashville. This time try the axe…
271. BROADWAY
Wow, Angela looks so adorable playing with Gnash. I mean, Gnash is cute too…
272. BROOKLYN
Thanks. I know he hatched in another decade, but Katana and I discussed it, and we want the whole clan to be Gnash and Egwardo’s Rookery parents…
273. BROADWAY
We’d be honored…
274. LEXINGTON
I still can’t quite take it all in. I go to Britain for a few weeks, and everything changes…
275. BROADWAY
At least you were gone for weeks. Try adjusting in forty seconds.
276. BROOKLYN
Hey, I had forty years to get ready for this, and it’s still strange…
277. LEXINGTON
But, dude. You’re so… old.
278. BROOKLYN
Thanks.
279. LEXINGTON
Older than Goliath.
280. BROOKLYN
Yeah.
281. LEXINGTON
Almost Hudson’s age.
282. BROOKLYN
I get it. I’m old.
283. LEXINGTON
It’s not that. Everything about you is different.
284. BROOKLYN
Oh, come on…
285. BROADWAY
No, he’s right. The way you talk. The way you move. All those weapons you carry now. It’s like you’ve outgrown us.
286. BROOKLYN
That’s not fair. I can’t tell you how much I missed you both.
287. LEXINGTON
We get that. And we’re not mad. But…
288. BROOKLYN
Look, this isn’t all on me. As I recall, things were already changing. Broadway spent all his time with Angela.
289. BROADWAY
Not all my time.
290. LEXINGTON
Uh… pretty much.
291. BROADWAY
Yeah, well, you’re practically on the internet non-stop.
292. LEXINGTON
It’s addictive! Do you know they have porn on that thing? There’s this one website, Blue Mug Prodâ€"
293. BROOKLYN
I don’t wanna know. The point is we’ve all gone through some changes. That’s just life.
294. BROADWAY
I guess our Three Musketeer days are over…
295. LEXINGTON
Yeah…
Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
296. ZAFIRO
Gargoyles of Manhattan!
297. OBSIDIANA
We need you’re help!
298. NARRATOR
At just that moment, the sun rises, turning Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Angela and Gnash to stone. Obsidiana and Zafiro are unaffected, thanks to their mystic Mayan pendants.
299. ZAFIRO
Mierda.
300. OBSIDIANA
Nuestro cronometraje apesta hoy.
Obsidiana, Zafiro, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Angela sit. Spider-Man, Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.
301. NARRATOR
Across town, Goliath also turns to stone.
302. SPIDER-MAN
What the heck?!
303. GREEN GOBLIN
Well, that was… unexpected.
304. SPIDER-MAN
All right, that’s enough. I know you’re not the real Gobby.
305. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes, yes, “It’s not the voice; it’s the words. Not the tech, but the moves.†I’ve heard it all before…
306. SPIDER-MAN
Then I know exactly who you really are: Chameleon!
307. GREEN GOBLIN
That would ease your conscience, wouldn’t it? To think I’m Chameleon â€" and not the ghost of the man you killed!
308. SPIDER-MAN
I don’t believe in ghosts.
309. GREEN GOBLIN
Then maybe you’d prefer I was the Spawn of Goblin.
310. SPIDER-MAN
Oh, you’d just love to shift the blame to Harry. Sorry, Gobby â€" I mean, Chammy â€" but we’ve been there, done that. Besides, no matter who you are, there hasn’t been time for the Globulin Green to kick in and truly Goblify you. So I’m gonna take you down now while you’re still just a cheap imitation.
311. GREEN GOBLIN
You could do that… or you could save stoneface over there.
312. NARRATOR
Gobby throws a pumpkin bomb at Goliath. Instinctively, Spidey webs it away…
313. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
Pumpkin Bomb and Green Goblin sit.
314. NARRATOR
By which time, the Goblin is gone, leaving a confused Spidey perched on Goliath’s head…
315. SPIDER-MAN
So in hindsight, I’m thinking maybe you weren’t part of the Gob-Squad, right?
(beat)
Fine. Stonewall me.
May STANDS.
316. NARRATOR
That morning in Forest Hills, Spidey sneaks in through his bedroom window, hoping to catch a few Zs.
317. MAY
Peter, are you awake.
318. PETER
Uh, sure Aunt May. Just getting dressed.
319. MAY
Well, hurry up. I’m… “conferencing†with all the other parents.
Robbie, ROSIE THOMPSON and George STAND.
320. ROBBIE
Are you sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Parker? Cuz I gotta say, what you’re proposing would be my worst nightmare.
321. MAY
<laughs> Oh, I don’t believe that for a minute, Mr. Robertson. It’s a joy to be around Peter and his friends. And I won’t be alone. Anna Watson and Mrs. Osborn will be with me.
322. ROSIE
Emily? She’s so… odd. I don’t think she’s ever said one word to me…
323. MAY
Well, I don’t know her very well, Rosie, but Harry is Peter’s best friend â€" no offense to your Eugene â€" so she must be doing something right.
324. ROSIE
May, you never change. Always seeing the best in people.
325. MAY
I’ll take that as a compliment, dear girl.
326. GEORGE
In any case, I’m glad to get Gwen out of Manhattan for a few days. The streets are looking pretty grim right about now.
327. MAY
Oh, I’m sure your officers will have things under control in no time.
328. PETER
Aunt May, what’s going on?
329. MAY
Oh, didn’t I tell you, Peter. I’m chaperoning your trip to Miami Beach!
330. PETER
Wow. Great.
Peter, May, George, Rosie and Robbie sit. Big Man and Dominique STAND.
331. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, back at L. Thompson Lincoln’s office…
332. BIG MAN
And how can I be of help, Ms. Destine.
333. DOMINIQUE
I think I can help you, Mr. Lincoln.
334. BIG MAN
What makes you think I need any help?
335. DOMINIQUE
Oh, little things. The shattered window, that unusual statue on the ledge outside…
336. BIG MAN
Point taken. How about you cut to the chase?
337. DOMINIQUE
Fine. Tony Dracon. Tomas Brod. Silvio Manfredi. All in jail. Hammerhead. Sable Manfredi. On the run. This gives you a unique opportunity to reclaim what was lost.
338. BIG MAN
I’m sure L. Thompson Lincoln has no idea what you’re talking about. But go on…
339. DOMINIQUE
You have three problems. Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and the government watching your every move.
340. BIG MAN
And you have the solution…
341. DOMINIQUE
I have the manpower. Three… “super-villains†to take down the competition and Dominic Dracon to use as a figurehead.
342. BIG MAN
The old man? I heard he was shy a few brain cells.
343. DOMINIQUE
It’s easy enough to spread the word he was faking insanity to avoid prosecution. And easy enough to assign him a keeper. Meanwhile, he’s a Dracon. And that name still carries weight, I believe.
344. BIG MAN
It does. But what would you want in exchange?
345. DOMINIQUE
Nothing extraordinary. Just the services of the Tinkerer.
346. BIG MAN
I believe that can be arranged.
347. DOMINIQUE
Lovely. But let’s not allow the moss to gather. You’ll want to move fast. Before the Octopus retrieves his arms…
Dominique and Big Man sit. SILVER SPOON MANAGER, Vulture, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and Electro STAND.
348. NARRATOR
The weather has turned cold. At the Silver Spoon, three men in trench coats and hats wait for their coffee.
349. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Sixty-nine!
350. VULTURE
Yes. Here.
351. NARRATOR
Vulture sits down with Electro and Doctor Octopus.
352. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Thank you, Adrian. Now. My arms?
353. VULTURE
In an OsCorp vault.
354. ELECTRO
At Rykers?!
355. VULTURE
<shhhhh> Not THE Vault. A vault. Still very high security, and the police are bound to expect our arrival, but…
356. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed. <sigh> OsCorp. Even in death, Norman Osborn torments me. But it cannot be helped. I must have my arms. We go in under cover of darkness tonight.
Doctor Octopus, Vulture and Electro sit. Silver Spoon Manager remains standing. Peter and Mary Jane STAND.
357. NARRATOR
The three men exit through one door. Two teenagers enter through another.
358. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy!
359. MARY JANE
Try to understand, Tiger. I just can’t do that to Gwen. She’s really become my best friend at Midtown.
360. PETER
But it’s not like we’d be making out or anything, right? Uh, right?
361. MARY JANE
Right.
362. PETER
Right, right. We’d be going as friends. Hanging out when the couples were … you know, coupling.
363. MARY JANE
And that would be great. But look at it from her point of view. She took all the risks, and you still wound up with Liz. There’s no way, she’d see me as anything but a threat. Wait, that sounded really conceited.
364. PETER
Have you looked in a mirror? Not conceited. Just fact.
365. MARY JANE
Ooh, nice one. Such a player.
366. PETER
Yeah, right. The world’s loneliest player.
367. MARY JANE
Stop it. I know you don’t want to hurt Gwen either. Not after all the two of you have been through.
368. PETER
Yeah… I wonder if Ms. Brant likes Miami. Kidding, kidding… Wow, pretty good. That was practically the Look.
369. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-One!
SEYMOUR O’REILLY stands.
370. PETER
So you’re just not going?
371. MARY JANE
Oh, I’m going. It’s 48 degrees outside and 82 in Miami. I asked Tiny to be my plus one.
372. PETER
Tiny?! Tiny McKeever?! The guy’s got the brain of an amoeba. He makes King Kong look like a genius. Hell, he makes Flash look like Stephen Hawking!
373. MARY JANE
(shrugs)
He’s cute.
374. PETER
<argggh> I just wish I could skip the whole thing. But Aunt May’s going, and after her heart attack, I really think she could use some fun in the sun--
375. SEYMOUR
Sorry to interrupt. Couldn’t help overhearing.
376. PETER
Oh, hey, Seymour.
377. SEYMOUR
Just wanted to let you know Harry invited me too. And I’m totally going stag. I mean who wants a ball and chain when Miami Beach is full of hotties, right?
378. PETER
Uh…
379. SEYMOUR
Just don’t expect to hang out, okay. You’d fully cramp my style.
380. PETER
Of course I would…
381. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-two!!
Silver Spoon Manager, Peter, Seymour and Mary Jane sit. Dominique and TINKERER STAND.
382. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, the Tinkerer arrives at the Destine Mansion…
383. DOMINIQUE
You have the devices?
384. TINKERER
Five was all I could put together on short notice. Unless you want to bring Mysterio in…?
385. DOMINIQUE
Our stage is crowded enough. And five should do quite nicely.
Dominique and Tinkerer sit. May, Mary Jane, GREG BISHANSKY, Sally, Gwen, Harry, Kong, Rand, Flash, Liz, Jason, Peter and Seymour STAND.
386. NARRATOR
Later that afternoon, Harry’s rented a party bus, and the gang is en route to the airport, stuck in heavy traffic on the expressway. A very prepared May Parker has a clipboard…
387. MAY
All right, we have three adults and sixteen children â€" sorry, sixteen teenagers. That’s nineteen sojourners bound for Florida. So why did my headcount come to twenty?
388. MARY JANE
I think you counted the bus driver, Mrs. Parker.
389. MAY
Oh, that I did.
390. BISHANSKY
Hey, twist my arm! I’ll go to Miami with you guys!!
391. SALLY
Was anyone talking to you?
392. BISHANSKY
Uh… no.
393. SALLY
Then eyes front.
394. BISHANSKY
Eyes front.
395. GWEN
Harry, are you all right?
396. HARRY
I dunno. All this stopping and starting. My stomach’s a little queasy…
397. KONG
Dude. Does this bus rock or what?!
398. RAND
‘Scool.
399. FLASH
Damn right it’s cool. Wouldn’t mind taking this baby all the way to Florida.
400. SALLY
Excuse me?! It’s a bus.
401. LIZ
Sally’s right. We’re not ditching the private jet for a bus. Right, Jason?
402. JASON
Uh…
403. SALLY
Right.
404. PETER
It really is a very nice bus though.
405. BISHANSKY
Hey, I’m not offended. I still can’t believe the Osborns hired me again. The last time, I got in two-- <impact grunt>
406. SEYMOUR
Dude, you totally rear-ended that guy at the tollbooth!
407. BISHANSKY
Not again…
408. SALLY
Wonderful. Now, we’ll be stuck here forever!
409. MAY
Everybody stay calm.
410. HARRY
Ah, man, gotta use the john…
411. KONG
<laughs> I think Osborn’s gonna hurl!
412. SALLY
Oh. My. God! If my hair starts smelling like vomit, I’ll sue you for bus-driver malpractice!!
413. BISHANSKY
Sorry, sorry…
Bishansky, Sally, Kong, Harry, May, Seymour, Peter, Jason, Liz, Flash, Rand, Gwen and Mary Jane sit. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
414. NARRATOR
The sun sets. At the castle, the gargoyles awaken…
415. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON
<awakening roars>
416. BROOKLYN
You must be Zafiro.
417. ZAFIRO
How did you know?
418. BROOKLYN
Strong family resemblance.
419. ZAFIRO
¿Perdón?
420. BROOKLYN
Long story. Time travel. The future. A whole other spin-off. Two actually…
421. OBSIDIANA
We don’t have time for your “spin-offsâ€. ¿Donde esta Goliath?
422. BROADWAY
He didn’t sleep here.
423. LEXINGTON
But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.
Elisa STANDS.
424. ELISA
He’d better. We have trouble. Demona trouble.
425. OBSIDIANA
Elisa!
426. ELISA
Hi, Obsidiana. I’m betting you have trouble too…
Elisa, Obsidiana, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Zafiro sit. Kraven, Calypso, Curt and Gulyadkin STAND.
427. NARRATOR
And while the clan awaits Goliath’s return…
428. KRAVEN
It is time, Calypso.
429. CALYPSO
Yes. The forces gather. We can make this one our own.
430. CURT
I demand you let me go!
431. KRAVEN
Hold your tongue, American dog. Or Gulyadkin will hold it for you.
432. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>
433. CALYPSO
Calm yourself… This change will not be difficult. The primitive bound within is barely skin-deep…
434. CURT
I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.
435. CALYPSO
I think you do. You see my companion. The details may have been created in a laboratory…
436. KRAVEN
But the soul of the Hunter â€" the beast inside â€" was always my own.
437. CURT
What are doing with that doll?
438. CALYPSO
Turning it inside out.
439. CURT
Listen to me, please. Even if you can release the “beast insideâ€, you don’t want to! It can’t be controlled.
440. KRAVEN
<laughs> Nyet. Not by you perhaps. But my Calypso is not so easily trifled with.
441. CALYPSO
It is time…
442. CURT
Noooo!!!! <transformation scream>
443. NARRATOR
Curt Connors is transformed by Calypso’s magic into the Lizard.
444. LIZARD
<roar>
445. KRAVEN
Now… to the Hunt!
Kraven, LIZARD, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit. Obsidiana, Zafiro, Angela, Elisa, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn STAND.
446. NARRATOR
Back at the Castle, Goliath has returned, and the entire clan has gathered. Elisa’s revealed what she knows about Demona. Now, it’s Obsidiana’s turn…
447. OBSIDIANA
It came from somewhere further south. Two human smugglers carrying an object of great power through the Green…
448. ZAFIRO
My mate is sensitive to these things. We tracked them, but they boarded a jet airplane and were soon out of our reach.
449. OBSIDIANA
Pero still I could sense great forces gathering. I asked Jade and Turquesa to teach us the way to Avalon…
450. ZAFIRO
Gabriel says hello, by the way.
451. ANGELA
Oh, I miss him. How is he?
452. ELISA
Angela, honey, let’s stay on point. I take it Avalon sent you here.
453. OBSIDIANA
Yes. We nearly achieved the totem, but a ridiculous human dressed in red and blueâ€"
454. ELISA, GOLIATH (UNISON)
Spider-Man…
455. OBSIDIANA
He did spin webs like a spider. Though from his hands, not hisâ€"
456. ZAFIRO
Focus, mi amor.
457. OBSIDIANA
Lo siento. This Man-Spider, he interfered. The smugglers escaped again. Now, power builds on power, rising to a crescendo.
458. BROADWAY
And that’s bad, right?
459. NARRATOR
Elisa’s cellphone rings.
Matt STANDS.
460. ELISA
Maza.
461. MATT
It’s Matt. Something’s going down at the OsCorp vault off the Expressway. Most of the Taskforce is already here. Stacy and his men too. But I’m thinking we might need… “back-upâ€. Lots and lots of back-up.
462. ELISA
We’re on our way. Brooklyn, can Bronx and Fu-Dog baby-sit Egwardo?
463. BROOKLYN
Of course.
464. ELISA
Good. Because otherwise it’s all hands on deck.
Elisa, Brooklyn, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath and Angela sit. George, Morgan and O’Neil STAND.
465. MATT
Okay, Captain. The rest of the Taskforce is on its way.
466. GEORGE
My men are deployed.
467. O’NEIL
And just in time! Cuz we got Gobby and his Pumpkin-Heads at 12 o’clock!
Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.
468. GREEN GOBLIN
Playtime!
469. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
470. MORGAN
And a gargoyle at 3 o’clock!
471. GEORGE
That’s not a gargoyle. That’s the Vulture!
Vulture STANDS.
472. VULTURE
You were right, Otto. The police were waiting. And the Goblin is here too. You don’t think it could actually be Osborn, still alive, do you?
Doctor Octopus and Electro STAND.
473. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Do not get distracted by old grudges, Adrian. It hardly matters who wears the Green. His intent is still to prevent me from regaining my arms. You must keep the Goblin and the authorities occupied.
474. VULTURE
Of course.
475. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Now, Electro. Open the vault.
476. ELECTRO
Roger that, Doc!
477. NARRATOR
Electro, already inside, short-circuits the vault’s electro-magnetic lock.
Tinkerer and Demona STAND.
478. TINKERER
Electro’s breached the vault.
479. DEMONA
So predictable. Send in your operatives.
480. NARRATOR
Tinkerer opens a burlap sack, releasing his five “operativesâ€.
HOMUNCULUS #1, HOMUNCULUS #2, HOMUNCULUS #3, HOMUNCULUS #4 and HOMUNCULUS #5 STAND.
481. HOMUNCULUS #1
Homunculi to the rescue!
482. HOMUNCULUS #2
Dirty work to be done!
483. HOMUNCULUS #3
Peach Cobbler!
484. HOMUNCULUS #4
Uh oh, somebody’s language system’s off-line again.
485. HOMUNCULUS #5
You know it, girlfriend!
Calypso, Kraven and Lizard STAND.
486. NARRATOR
And down in the sewer…
487. CALYPSO
It is right above us, my love. The Power and the Glory. The very keys to the Kingdom.
488. KRAVEN
And Kraven will lay them all at your feet.
489. LIZARD
<lizard roar>
490. NARRATOR
Up top, a stretch limo skids to a stop outside the vault. Dominic Dracon and Fancy Dan emerge.
Dracon and FANCY DAN STAND.
491. DRACON
All right, boys. Get me those jewels!
492. FANCY DAN
I think what the boss means is… Destroy the competition!
Carnage, Colonel Jupiter and Venom STAND.
493. CARNAGE
<evil chuckle> Carnage time?
494. FANCY DAN
Yeah. Go. Kill. Whatever.
495. COLONEL JUPITER
Colonel Jupiter will stop the Green Goblin and Vulture in their tracks!
496. FANCY DAN
Knock yourself out. But what are you waiting for?
497. VENOM
Someone worthy of our hate. But we have faith… He’ll come…
498. GREEN GOBLIN
My, my, the field’s getting crowded. Let’s thin the herd. Pumpkin-Heads, release the hounds! <ahem> That was a metaphor. Throw your pumpkin bombs already!
499. PUMPKIN BOMB
<multiple shrieks>
Pumpkin Bomb, Green Goblin, Venom, Fancy Dan, Colonel Jupiter, Carnage, Dracon, Lizard, Kraven, Calypso, Homunculus #5, Homunculus #4, Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Demona, Tinkerer, Electro, Doctor Octopus, Vulture, George, Morgan, O’Neil and Matt SIT. May, Peter, Bishansky, Flash, Kong, Sally, Mary Jane, Gwen and Harry STAND.
500. MAY
Goodness, what was that?
501. PETER
Something The Bugle will want pictures of. Open the door.
502. BISHANSKY
Uh…
503. MAY
Peter Parker, I am not letting you off this bus in the middle of the expressway.
504. PETER
Aunt May we’re at a complete standstill. And you don’t have to worry. I’ll use my telephoto lens. I won’t be anywhere near the action.
505. MAY
I suppose it is your job… Open the door.
506. BISHANSKY
Yes, ma’am.
507. PETER
Thanks, Aunt May. You rock!
508. FLASH
If Puny Parker’s going, I’m going too!
509. MAY
Eugene Thompson, you sit your backside down in that seat right this minute.
510. FLASH
Yes, ma’am.
511. KONG
<laughs>
512. SALLY
What’s he going to take pictures with? I saw his camera get blown up two months ago.
513. MARY JANE
Pete’s a professional photographer, Sally. I’m sure he has more than one camera.
514. GWEN
Harry… Are you all right in there?
515. HARRY
<vomit noise> Ugh, don’t come in. It really isn’t pretty.
Harry, Gwen, Mary Jane, Sally, Kong, Flash, May, Peter and Bishansky sit. Broadway, Goliath, Brooklyn, Angela, Elisa, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
516. NARRATOR
The clan alights on a rise overlooking the battlefield.
517. BROADWAY
Whoa, what a mess…
518. GOLIATH
We will split our forces. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro with me.
519. BROOKLYN
Shouldn’t I lead the other contingent?
520. GOLIATH
I need your experience and your weapons at my side.
521. ANGELA
Don’t worry, Brooklyn, we’ve got it covered.
522. NARRATOR
Angela, Hudson, Katana, Gnash, Coldstone and Coldfire glide toward the battle.
523. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY (UNISON)
Be careful!
Angela sits.
524. ELISA
You know I’m going with you.
525. GOLIATH
Not this time, Elisa. You must join your fellow officers…
526. ELISA
Butâ€"
527. GOLIATH
When all is settled, we shall need your help to cover our retreat from this conflagration… You know this is true.
528. ELISA
(defeated)
Yes.
Elisa sits. Spider-Man STANDS.
529. NARRATOR
Elisa makes her way down the hill. Goliath and the others glide to the Vault’s roof. Spider-Man lands there at the same time.
530. SPIDER-MAN, ZAFIRO (UNISON)
You again!
531. GOLIATH
Hold, Spider-Man. I have a friend who knows your Captain Stacy.
532. SPIDER-MAN
Really?
533. GOLIATH
This policeman believes in you. So I choose to believe in you as well.
534. SPIDER-MAN
Says the eight-foot tall medieval monster. But I get it. We’re on the same side. So let’s go kick some Pumpkin-Butt!
535. ZAFIRO
¡Idiota! That battle is a mere distraction.
536. OBSIDIANA
The true danger lies within…
537. SPIDER-MAN
All right, all right, you had me at “Idiotaâ€.
538. NARRATOR
The gargoyles rip open the rooftop. The seven heroes descend, but someone watches…
Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn sit. Venom and Fancy Dan STAND.
539. VENOM
And there goes our Bro…
540. FANCY DAN
You going in? That wasn’t the plan!
541. VENOM
And how do intend to stop us?
542. FANCY DAN
Fine, go. But if you see my Ricochet suit, bring it out!
Fancy Dan and Venom sit. Foswell, Jonah and Robbie STAND.
543. FOSWELL
See, J.J. The tip from Dracon’s old chauffer was right on the money.
544. JONAH
Whaddaya want, a fershlugginer medal?! Let’s get in there!
545. ROBBIE
Slow down, Jonah. I promised Joan I wouldn’t let you lose your head, figuratively or literally.
546. JONAH
Forget my head! Who cares about my head?! My boy needs me!
Ned and Colonel Jupiter STAND.
547. NED
Looks to me like your boy’s doing pretty well, Chief!
548. COLONEL JUPITER
Take that, miscreants!
549. ROBBIE
Ned, how did youâ€"
550. NED
Tip from one of the pumpkin-heads. Foswell’s not the only one with sources.
551. JONAH
You two can naked mud-wrestle over who’s the biggest brown-noser later. For now, Robbie, if you don’t let go of me in zero-point-zero seconds, I’ll dropkick you to next Season! And there’s no guarantee there’ll be a next Season!
552. NARRATOR
Jonah breaks away from Robbie, but his path is blocked…
Elisa STANDS.
553. ELISA
Get back! You want to wind up street pizza!
554. JONAH
But that’s my son up there.
555. ELISA
Yeah, well, at least he’s fighting on the right side.
556. COLONEL JUPITER
Nothing stands against the might of Colonel Jupiter!
557. ELISA
Does he always talk like that?
558. ROBBIE
Bombasticism runs in the family.
Robbie, Elisa, Colonel Jupiter, Jonah, Ned and Foswell sit. Vulture, Carnage, Green Goblin, Angela, Fancy Dan, Matt and Dracon STAND.
559. NARRATOR
Jupiter takes down Pumpkin-Heads right and left. Hudson squares off against Vulture.
560. VULTURE
Why do I get the old guy?
561. NARRATOR
You’re old. He’s old. It’s parallelism. Get over it.
(beat)
Coldstone and Coldfire isolate Carnage.
562. CARNAGE
No fair! These two don’t spatter at all!
563. NARRATOR
Angela and Katana take on the Goblin.
564. GREEN GOBLIN
Oh, goody. Gobby likes getting down and dirty with the hotties.
565. ANGELA
Oh, you did not just say that.
566. NARRATOR
And little Gnash goes after Fancy Dan.
567. FANCY DAN
Admit it, you gave me the kid because I’m short?
568. NARRATOR
Even Detective Bluestone gets into the act.
569. MATT
Freeze, Dracon!
570. DRACON
You’re confused. I’m G.F. Benton, a certified public accountant. I think I’ll be going now…
571. MATT
Yeah. Back to Ravencroft, you old nutter!
572. NARRATOR
But inside, things are a bit more serious…
Matt, Dracon, Fancy Dan, Angela, Green Goblin, Carnage and Vulture sit. Electro and Doctor Octopus STAND.
573. ELECTRO
Got your arms, Doc!
574. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
And my Megalo-Pack?
575. ELECTRO
You’re Mega-what now?
576. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
My power-source, Maxwell.
577. ELECTRO
Right, right. No. That’s not here.
578. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
What?!
Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #3 STAND.
579. HOMUNCULUS #1
Gotta get the true treasure!
580. HOMUNCULUS #2
Bring it back to the big Smurfette!
581. HOMUNCULUS #3
Blunk hates getting wet!
582. NARRATOR
Three Homunculi fly deeper into the vault to retrieve Demona’s prize.
Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Zafiro, Spider-Man, Lexington, Homunculus #5, Goliath, Brooklyn, Broadway and Obsidiana STAND.
583. ZAFIRO
What are those things?!
584. SPIDER-MAN, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
Robots!
585. LEXINGTON
And I got one!
586. HOMUNCULUS #5
Leggo, you big bully!
587. LEXINGTON
<ugh> What an annoying voice…
588. HOMUNCULUS #5
(aside to audience)
Look who’s talking.
589. LEXINGTON
…But I might be able to use it to take control of the others.
590. SPIDER-MAN
I think I can help.
Venom STANDS.
591. VENOM
You’ll be a little too busy for that, Bro.
592. GOLIATH
Friend of yours?
593. SPIDER-MAN
Once upon a time. Not so much now.
594. VENOM
Die, Spider-Man!
595. VENOM, SPIDER-MAN
<add-lib battle sounds>
596. SPIDER-MAN
A little help?
597. NARRATOR
Brooklyn blasts Venom, who collapses.
598. VENOM
<vibrating scream>
Venom sits.
599. BROOKLYN
Sonic Cannon. Circa 2198. Guess my weapons do come in handy.
600. LEXINGTON
Just cover me until I can get this working…
Demona and Tinkerer STAND.
601. DEMONA
What’s wrong, Tinkerer? Why haven’t they returned?
602. TINKERER
Someone’s trying to counter their programming. He won’t succeed.
603. DEMONA
He had better not.
604. LEXINGTON
My hack’s being hacked!
605. TINKERER
He’s overriding my override!
Homunculus #4 STANDS.
606. HOMUNCULUS #4
Go right. Go left. Go right. Go left. Blow up!
607. NARRATOR
Homunculus #4 blows up. But so does Homunculus #5 in Lexington’s hands!
608. LEXINGTON
<pain cry>
609. BROADWAY
Lexington!
Homunculus #4 and Homunculus #5 sit.
610. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
This is madness! Grab my arms and get me out of here!
611. ELECTRO
Workin’ on it!
612. NARRATOR
Electro blasts away, until he and Doc Ock are blindsided by…
Kraven, Gulyadkin, Lizard and Calypso STAND.
613. ELECTRO, DOCTOR OCTOPUS
<impacts>
614. BROADWAY
Look, it’s Claw.
615. KRAVEN
<roar>
616. BROOKLYN
That’s not Claw.
617. BROADWAY
Well, it’s sure not Maggie.
618. GULYADKIN
<lion roar>
619. LEXINGTON
(recovering)
Is that an actual lion?
620. LIZARD
<lizard roar>
621. SPIDER-MAN
Lizard, too? Seriously, this is way over the top.
Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.
622. HOMUNCULUS #1
Got the gizmo!
623. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi never fail!
624. NARRATOR
Two homunculi fly past, carrying a sealed container down a dark corridor.
625. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA (UNISON)
The totem!
(pointing at each other)
Don’t let her near it!
626. KRAVEN
Go, Calypso! Leave them to us!
627. ZAFIRO
¡Vaya, mi amor!
628. BROOKLYN
We got your back, Goliath! Go!
629. SPIDER-MAN
Think I’ll tag along too…
Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Calypso, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Goliath, Tinkerer and Demona sit.
630. NARRATOR
Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spider-Man race down the corridor.
631. KRAVEN
Lizard, take the reptile!
632. ZAFIRO
¡No soy ningún reptil! ¡Soy un Gárgolo!
633. ZAFIRO, LIZARD
<ad-lib battle sounds>
634. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin attack!
635. GULYADKIN
<pounce roar>
636. NARRATOR
Gulyadkin and Kraven attack Lex and Broadway!
637. LEXINGTON
Hey, get him off me!
638. BROADWAY
Kinda busy at the moment!
639. GULYADKIN, LEXINGTON, KRAVEN, BROADWAY
<ad-lib struggles>
640. NARRATOR
Brooklyn steps in and pulls both cats off his rookery brothers. They turn on him.
641. BROOKLYN
Uh oh.
642. BROADWAY, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
All for one!
643. NARRATOR
The two gargoyles return the favor, knocking Kraven and Gulyadkin aside. Then Brooklyn blasts them both.
644. BROOKLYN
And one for all!
645. KRAVEN, GULYADKIN
<blast impacts>
646. LEXINGTON
Some things never change.
647. NARRATOR
Zafiro throws Lizard’s unconscious body on top of Kraven…
648. KRAVEN, LIZARD
<oofs>
649. ZAFIRO
We should follow Obsidiana…
650. ZAFIRO, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
<electrocution scream>
651. NARRATOR
The four gargoyles are dropped by Electro’s blast.
652. ELECTRO
Still want out?
653. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed not. My curiosity is piqued. Let’s see where this leads…
Doctor Octopus, Electro, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Zafiro, Gulyadkin, Kraven and Lizard sit. Demona, Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.
654. NARRATOR
Electro and Octopus head down the corridor… In a dimly lit room, Demona holds the Spear of Destiny and watches as the two homunculi open the container. Inside… is a crown of thorns.
655. DEMONA
The Crown of Thorns!
656. NARRATOR
Demona removes her tiara.
657. DEMONA
Place it on my head…
658. HOMUNCULUS #1
Placing, placing…
659. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi aim to please!
660. NARRATOR
The Homunculi gently lower the crown onto Demona’s head before disappearing back into the darkness. The thorns bite into her brow, drawing blood. Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spidey come rushing in.
Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Spider-Man, Goliath, Calypso and Obsidiana STAND.
661. DEMONA
My Kingdom come. My Will be done…
662. SPIDER-MAN
Friend of yours?
663. GOLIATH
Once upon a time. Not so much now.
664. DEMONA
On Earth as it is in Heaven…
665. CALYPSO
Too late…
666. OBSIDIANA
Too late…
667. DEMONA
For MINE is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever and ever…
668. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA, SPIDER-MAN (UNISON)
Amen…
669. NARRATOR
Light radiates outward from the Spear. Goliath watches in confusion as Calypso, Obsidiana and Spider-Man drop to their knees before Demona. Octopus and Electro enter and likewise fall to their knees. The light reaches the outer vault. Though still unconscious, Venom, Lizard, Zafiro and Kraven lurch to their feet, then drop to their knees. And still the light advances…
Obsidiana and Calypso sit.
670. GOLIATH
What sorcery is this?!
671. DEMONA
The most powerful human sorcery ever created, Goliath. This is humanity’s Armageddon. Their entire race’s final act.
END ACT TWO
NEXT: ACT THREE...
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