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WEISMANSWERS 2009-09 (Sep)
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Ki writes...
I've noticed that in Gargoyles, Lexington is much smaller and much more naive than all of the other characters. Is he any younger than the others, or is this simply his design/nature?
Greg responds...
I don't think he is more naive. He's not any younger than Broadway. He is smaller.
F.Z. writes...
Hello Again Greg, i have a some questions about Arthur Pendragon
1) What class of inmortality have Arthur?, a really long live or is he Age Stuck like Macbet and Demona? or at least have some way of Inmortality?
2) And if he is Inmortal, Who made him Inmortal? this one feel free to don`t answer XP
3) He knows about the Illuminaty?
Thanks Again
Greg responds...
1. Now that he's awake again, he's aging normally. He's not immortal; he was just in a form of suspended animation (pun intended) for a long time.
2. See above.
3. No.
Wolf E. Urameshi writes...
I just found out about the Gathering being the last. Unfortunate, as I never got a chance to go there. :(
Also, this is an issue I thought I'd ask. I looked around in the archives but no cigar. If it was answered, I simply didn't notice, and I apologize beforehand if this is the case. If you were ever unable to continue the Gargoyles in any way, shape or form other than cartoons, comics, DVD's and such, how would you continue the story? Maybe publishing them online in deviantArt or a website of its own in story or comic form? Would you be willing to do that, if it were to come to that? Thanks again.
PS: Did you know that newest web sensation the Nostalgia Critic has reviewed the Gargoyles show? He gave it high praise. Feel free to drop by here:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8726-gargoyles
Greg responds...
Yes, I've seen the Nostalgia Critic's review. It was pretty cool.
As for your main question, it's just a completely unworkable hypothetical. It assumes I give up at some point on doing Gargoyles again in a commercial medium. That's just not likely to happen -- ever.
Bobby Drake writes...
Hey, Greg. I heard some scenes in Gargoyles were censored by Disney. In one episode in season 1, I remember a part where Hyena says "Would you like an autograph?" a girl (forgot her name) pulls out a knife on the guy and says, "Maybe I should sign it on your face!" And that's when Jackal says, "Might as well get in on the fun." And I heard there were a few more episodes that had censors.
I would say Spectacular Spider-Man is a little violent for a children's show. So far, your show has had drug addiction, Tombstone getting stabbed in the back by the Green Goblin, Doc Ock promising Rhino the "permission" to impale Spiderman's heart, George Stacy saying the F word in "Shear Strength", a funeral, and also violent fights. I've considered most of the fights in this show (especially the season 2 fights) a little bit violent for little kids.
So here's my question: Will Spectacular Spider-Man suffer from censors the same way some scenes of Gargoyles have? Were there any censored scenes in the show so far in Spectacular Spiderman on Disney? If yes, which scenes? Also, I heard the "Natural Selections" episode had censors. Is that true?
Thank you for answering my questions.
Greg responds...
GARGOYLES wasn't censored in the traditional sense of the word when the shows first aired. Since then, I'm told, ToonDisney/Jetix/DisneyXD may have made some cuts. But I haven't watched their versions of the shows.
George Stacy never said the "F-word" unless you and I have VERY different ideas of which F the F-Word stands for. I don't think THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is too violent for kids. Of course, I grew up on Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons.
You're sort of throwing the c-word (censorship) around willy-nilly. I'm not sure you really get what it means in a practical sense. But in any case, the 1st Season and half the second season have all aired on DisneyXD, and nothing has been cut from the versions we made.
And, no, nothing was censored out of "Natural Selections". Where did you hear that?
Todd Jensen writes...
In the Shocker episode of "The Spectacular Spider-Man", when Peter Parker asks J. Jonah Jameson whether he wouldn't have a photograph where Spiderman's getting the upper hand over Shocker rather than one where Shocker's winning, Jameson replies "The people want to see their heroes fail! It makes them feel good about themselves!"
Was this line intended, in part, as a reference/commentary on Spiderman's familiar depiction in Marvel as particularly fallible (carried out well, I thought, in the show, whether on a serious level - getting fired from his internship in Dr. Connors' lab after the Lizard incident - or comedic - the spectacularly unsuccessful attempt at cooking Thanksgiving dinner)? Phrased, of course, in a more cynical way than you'd probably normally do it, to fit Jameson's character?
Greg responds...
It's all part of the package.
Todd Jensen writes...
I've been hesitant about asking this question for a while, in case it turned out to be an idea in disguise, but:
In "A Lighthouse in the Sea of Time", when Goliath shouts to Owen "Take us to them [Xanatos, Broadway, and Hudson]!", Owen replies, with a sly smile on his face, "You should know that I can't do that."
Now, Owen/Puck's contract with Xanatos prevents him from using his abilities as Puck in his Owen-role, only permitting him to use his mundane skills. Was his line a subtle foreshadowing-reference to that? He'd certainly be debarred from transporting Goliath, Brooklyn, and Lexington to wherever Xanatos, Broadway, and Hudson were in the magical sense (even though Goliath obviously didn't have that in mind when he made the demand), by the deal he'd made. And it would certainly fit that smile of his, the kind of smile that suggests he knew something that Goliath didn't, and that he knew Goliath didn't know.
Greg responds...
I'd love to say yes, and let you think I'm brilliant, but it wasn't really the idea in my head. Owen is saying "You should know that I can't do that..." meaning "You should know that Xanatos isn't behind this particular nefarious plot."
Stephen B. writes...
The Spectacular Spiderman was something I was really looking forward to since I saw the trailer in the Frien or Foe video game. The wait was killing me, the only real problem I had was the look of Doc Ock because of the action figure. When the series first aired though I was really impressed, it was even better than I thought. While reading the description saying Vulture and Electro were the villains to be first introduced my only thought was nice...keeping it simple, I like that. (simple as in they were two of his first villains in the Lee/Ditko books, and well not introducing someone as big as Doc Ock like the trailer hinted) The first episode seemed to be intended for kids, and kids only...not that I mind, I am only 13. The as the episode went on it kinda got a little deeper especially with that one line, "I can't let Harry lose his dad the way I lost Uncle Ben" a little creepy. Also, I was extremely happy and shocked to see the Enforcers in the series because they were only in a few comics from what I have read, thankfully I picked up some essentials before watching the series. Big Man and Hammerhead are also an extremely nice touch to the series. Plus, the new looks for these characters rule, Vulture reminded me of a falcon, most likey because of the Atlanta Falcons. The next episode was even better more mature, but still appropiate for kids. The lab job was pretty cool and the the Curt Connors thing with the Lizard DNA was being explained well. (which reminds me, have you played any of the games because you referred green goblin as "Emerald Elf", Curt Connors' needle like thing was portrayed like in the games, and some other stuff I can't remember at the moment.) Electro was the best thing that happened to this episode though, the Max Dillon had a nice back story (if that's the correct term) Electro's suit was just awesome, he is by far one of my favorite characters in the series. Natural Selection is where it got perfect for me, Lizard was awesome, and the story was a little dark with Billy and all but that just increased the awesomenes lol. The story arc "Rise of the Supervillains" was just the ammount of incredible as "Attack of the Lizard" (Going by DVD names) Shocker as Montana is something I really enjoyed, I find him to be better than Herman Shcultz. (Especially in Ultimate, except in "The Worst Day of Peter Parker's Life" story that is when he got sadistic) Sandman and Rhino were great, and the revealing of the Big Man as Tombstone was neat. I mean F. Fosswell was Big Man in the comics but Tombstone posed more as a threat because he is your main crime boss because Kingpin wasn't available. Green Goblin is my favorite character in the series however, and Steve Blum's voice nails it. He is exactly how he was in the comics. Doc Ock is shockingly (again because of the toy) awesome, another character exactly like the comics. Plus everything else that's happening like with the Daily Bugle and Pete's personal life is a great story as well. Chameleon isn't one of my favorite characters in the comics, I found him to be dull, but this series made me kind of pay attention to him more, also the use of Tinkerer and Beck before he becomes Mysterio is awesome (there's that word again) Black Suit Spiderman was cool. I liked how his costumed changed every episode. Sinister Six was nicely put together alot better than the 90's version, they didn't even give them their right name. The Intervention episode was pure briliant. Finally a series that explained his origin in a liking and the guy who voiced Uncle Ben, Ed ... was awesome, and he was briliant in "UP". Finally the last episode Venom was incredible best version of him ever. And the last scene with the kiss was a nice cliffhanger to season 2. Again the story behind the Spiderman fights was incredible as well. The best adaptation to Spiderman EVER!!! Season 2 did just air and they had them on youtube now but I refuse to watch them I wanna be suprised. Thanks for this beast (yes i spelled it correctly BEAST) version of Spiderman.
Greg responds...
I'm not much of a gamer myself. Glad you liked the show!
GreenGosborn267 writes...
Hey Mr. Weisman, awesome job with the Spectacular Spiderman, by far the best adaptation of the character. The main reason I'm writing is about the Green Goblin. You said this story was planned since day one, I had a feeling. When I saw Harry taking the green I still knew Norman was the Goblin. Except when Goblin was unmasked to be Harry which completely through me off. Then when season 2 came around I knew Norman was going to be the goblin but in a what was his curse became my gift kinda thing. Then when he was telling the story Goblin's facial expressoins became clear, the Chameleon thing was well put together everything was just nicely done. I still have a hunch Norman will comeback before Harry does anything with the green goblin. I think Norman is more darker than Harry ever was so I think he's gonna come back and unmask the Hobgoblin, go through the whole Gwen story (if allowed) I don't know I just feel that way...which proves this story was incredible because I'm still guessing. Goblin has become my favorite Spidey character thanks to this series (he was always number 2, right behind venom and in front of carnage) so thanks.
and a question just so you can add something more to your to-do list:
which is your favorite green goblin story arc in the comics? (Amazing, Spectacular, Ultimate, any comic just pick an arc.)
Greg responds...
I'm partial to the Lee/Ditko and Lee/Romita days, myself.
G2009 Radio Play
G2009 Radio Play - Act Three
672. NARRATOR
Act Three.
673. DEMONA
Norman Osborn was a fool. So obsessed with the power of science, he kept the Crown of Thorns in this vault as if it was just another souvenir â€" albeit an expensive one â€" to hang upon his wall. But with the Crown and the Spear of Destiny together, I now have the power to force all of humanity to its knees.
674. GOLIATH
These are Christian icons, Demona. Not every human being is a Christian.
675. DEMONA
Not every human being speaks Latin, but that didn’t stop me from using a Latin spell to turn a city-full of humans to stone. The magic I wield is potent beyond measure. Mine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory. No human may resist. No human will be spared. None will be spared who oppose me. Just look at this fool…
676. GOLIATH
Her name is Obsidiana.
677. DEMONA
Of course it is. For she wears the mystic Obsidian pendant fashioned by human sorcerers. Even that is enough to put her in my thrall. She has relinquished her gargoyle birthright.
678. GOLIATH
I have relinquished nothing.
679. NARRATOR
Demona waves the Spear of Destiny, and Electro rises and blasts Goliath back into the wall.
680. GOLIATH
<impact>
681. DEMONA
Yes, I’m surprised you’re unaffected… since you reek of humanity. The stink of your human whore is in your hair, on your lips, everywhere. And nothing in this world will give me more pleasure, Goliath, than watching your detective on her knees to me, as she draws her service revolver and thanks me with tears of joy in her eyes… before gratefully blowing out her own brains.
682. GOLIATH
(coldly furious)
That will never be.
683. DEMONA
No? My power expands with every second. I doubt she’s far away.
684. GOLIATH
You will not harm Elisa.
685. NARRATOR
Goliath advances on Demona. Electro blasts away, but Goliath will not be stopped…
686. DEMONA
No one ever said you weren’t persistent, Goliath. But what do you hope to gain?
687. GOLIATH
(through gritted teeth)
I will turn these forces back upon you.
688. DEMONA
Impossible. I am the last true gargoyle left on this world. The Crown’s magicks cannot touch me.
689. GOLIATH
So you believe. But I am not the only one who reeks of humanity. Am I… Dominique?!
690. NARRATOR
Goliath grasps the crown. The thorns bite into his hands, drawing blood. They struggle for control of the immense power…
691. GOLIATH, DEMONA
<roaring to the heavens>
692. SPIDER-MAN
<moan>
693. NARRATOR
Goliath’s intervention â€" and his complete immunity to the Crown’s effects â€" creates the smallest of fluctuation in Demona’s control. In a haze, Spider-Man lifts his arm…
694. SPIDER-MAN
Thwip.
695. NARRATOR
He shoots off a web, yanking the bloody crown from Demona’s head.
696. DEMONA
Noooooo!!!!
697. NARRATOR
There is a massive explosion of mystic energy and light! Demona, Goliath and Electro collapse.
698. GOLIATH
<moan>
699. SPIDER-MAN
Goliath…
700. GOLIATH
The Spear… the Crown…
701. SPIDER-MAN
Gone. I think they… blew up. Calypso’s gone too. But I’m betting that’s just a talent of hers. And I’d guess she’s taken Kraven and the pussycat with her.
702. DEMONA
<unconscious moan>
703. SPIDER-MAN
But the Big Bad’s still here…
704. GOLIATH
(sadly)
Leaving behind, as always, nothing but a handful of thorns…
Goliath, Spider-Man and Demona sit. Jonah, Elisa, Matt and George STAND.
705. NARRATOR
While Goliath helps Obsidiana, Spidey webs up Demona, Electro and Ock. In the outer vault, Zafiro and the Trio recover, finding only an unconscious and de-venomed Eddie Brock. Outside, the bad guys have all been beaten. Goblin and Vulture, their tech badly damaged, barely manage to fly away. Carnage and Jupiter are once again Cletus and John.
706. JONAH
I’m here, Johnny. Your old Pop’s here…
707. ELISA
Matt…
708. MATT
Call an ambulance, Elisa. Old Man Dracon said something about seeing a light. Then he collapsed. A stroke or something. I’ve been giving him C.P.R.
709. ELISA
Matt… Matt! You can stop. Stop. He’s gone.
710. GEORGE
You’re gargoyles are flying off, Detective.
711. MATT
(breathing hard)
Really? Not sure I see ‘em myself. But is that Spidey web-slinging away?
712. GEORGE
You think? I must have missed him?
Margot STANDS.
713. MARGOT
Are you all blind?! They’re right over there!
714. GEORGE, MATT, ELISA (UNISON)
Oh, give it a rest, Margot…
Elisa, Matt, George, Margot and Jonah sit. Peter, May, Harry and Gwen STAND.
715. NARRATOR
Back at the bus…
716. PETER
I’m back. And not a single decent picture to show for my efforts.
717. MAY
Well, you tried your best, Peter. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will appreciate that.
718. PETER
Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetheart that way.
719. NARRATOR
Emily Osborn watches as her son finally emerges from the bathroom.
720. GWEN
Harry?
721. HARRY
Hey, Gwen. I feel much better.
Harry, Gwen, Peter and May sit. Jonah and Robbie STAND.
722. NARRATOR
Later that night, at The Bugle…
723. JONAH
Whaddayou mean I can’t publish it?! How else can I make them all pay for what they did to Johnny!
724. ROBBIE
You can’t publish because the authorities refuse to comment. We have no pictures or statements to corroborate a story that includes gargoyles, a dead Green Goblin and everything except the kitchen sink. No one will believe it. I was there, and I don’t believe it! Print this, Jonah, and The Bugle becomes the next Daily Tattler.
725. JONAH
Ms. Brant, call the bomb squad. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!
Jonah and Robbie sit. Gwen, Peter, Kong, Curt, Harry, EMILY OSBORN and Mary Jane STAND.
726. NARRATOR
Later still, aboard OsCorp’s private jet en route to Miami…
727. GWEN
I still can’t believe we ran into you in the airport parking lot, Doctor Connors.
728. PETER
Yeah, and we’re so sorry you got mugged.
729. KONG
Dude, they took your shoes?! That’s hilarious! <laughs>
730. CURT
Yes, well, I just really appreciate the ride back to Florida…
731. HARRY
Anytime, Doctor C. Anytime.
732. EMILY
Harry, could I have a moment… in your father’s office?
733. HARRY
Uh, sure, Mom.
Curt, Kong and Gwen sit.
734. MARY JANE
Pete, help.
735. PETER
What’s wrong?
736. MARY JANE
Tiny. Cute enough, but it’s like talking to a tree stump.
737. PETER
Tried to warn you.
738. MARY JANE
Just say we’ll spend the week as a threesome, okay, Tiger.
739. PETER
Sure!
740. MARY JANE
Not that kind of threesome.
Mary Jane and Peter sit.
741. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Harry follows his mother Emily into the jet’s private office.
742. EMILY
I know you were playing at being the Goblin, Harry.
743. HARRY
What?! Mom, that’s crazy! I was in the bathroom…
744. EMILY
Don’t lie to me, baby. You hired the worst chauffer in the city to delay our progress. You had a secret hatch installed in the bus bathroom, so you could slip in and out undetected. And you left a pre-recorded “vomit tape†with voice recognition software. All very impressive for a sixteen-year-old. But you need to understand… the Green Goblin is not what your father wanted for you.
745. HARRY
I have no idea what Dad wanted for me…
746. EMILY
Then let him tell you…
747. NARRATOR
She slips a DVD into the computer and Norman Osborn appears on screen…
NORMAN OSBORN STANDS.
748. NORMAN
Harry, my son. If you are watching this, then I am dead. And I have instructions…
Norman, Emily and Harry sit. Big Man, Blackie and SHARI STAND.
749. NARRATOR
Meanwhile at the Big Man’s office, he and Blackie Gaxton are visited by Shari, a young woman wearing a pendant depicting an eye atop a pyramid…
750. BIG MAN
Thirty-six.
751. BLACKIE
Thirty-five.
752. SHARI
Nine. Any problems?
753. BIG MAN
Not particularly. Ms. Destine was ready to believe I could find Dracon and the others useful.
754. BLACKIE
And that faux Goblin was happy to believe I’d been fooled into thinking he was the real thing.
755. NARRATOR
Blackie removes his false face, revealing that he is actually the Chameleon in disguise.
756. CHAMELEON
Just as he was happy to believe I was the real Blackie Gaxton. But I’m still not sure why the Society wanted all this…?
757. SHARI
Isn’t it enough to know the Illuminati appreciates your efforts?
CHAMELEON and Big Man sit. THAILOG, BRENTWOOD, Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 And Homunculus #3 STAND.
758. NARRATOR
Shari leaves Lincoln’s office and pulls out her cellphone…
759. SHARI
Dial Nightstone Unlimited.
760. THAILOG
Alexander Thailog.
761. SHARI
The Spear? The Crown?
762. THAILOG
Waiting for you to send to Duval.
763. BRENTWOOD
Brentwood capture little robot. Use it to control other little robots. When bright light shine, robots take spear and crown.
764. SHARI
Lovely.
765. THAILOG
What should we do with the Homunculi?
766. SHARI
Set them free. Maybe they’ll get their own series some day.
767. HOMUNCULUS #1
Free, free, set them free…
768. HOMUNCULUS #2
On basic cable and DVD…
769. HOMUNCULUS #3
Jazz hands!
Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Shari, Thailog and Brentwood sit. Elisa and Goliath STAND.
770. NARRATOR
At the castle, Elisa’s cell rings.
771. ELISA
Maza… Yeah, Captain Stacy said you might call. Sure, he’s right here.
772. NARRATOR
She hands the phone to Goliath, who doesn’t quite know how to hold it. She takes it back and puts the call on speaker.
773. GOLIATH
Hello…?
Spider-Man STANDS.
774. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, Goliath. It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
775. GOLIATH
You protect your… neighborhood.
776. SPIDER-MAN
Just like you do the super-hero thing without the tights.
777. GOLIATH
Spider-Man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
778. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, I was just gonna say that. You saw that movie too?
779. GOLIATH
Movie?
780. ELISA
God, I love you… <kiss>
Elisa, Goliath and Spider-Man sit. Kafka STANDS.
781. NARRATOR
And finally â€" yes, finally â€" we end where we began. In the offices of Dr. Ashley Kafka at Ravencroft. She’s on the phone to her Board of Directors.
782. KAFKA
After all that tsuris, little has changed. Otto and Eddie are still disassociative. Max still needs a cure, and John still wants power. Cletus? He just keeps repeating, “I got a taste now,†over and over. Yes, we lost Dominic, I’m afraid. But we do have a new patient…
Dominique STANDS.
783. KAFKA (CONT)
…Dominique Destine.
784. DOMINIQUE
Just wait until the sun goes down…
Dominique and Kafka sit.
785. NARRATOR
The End.
THE END
NEXT: I finally get back to answering questions...
G2009 Radio Play
G2009 Radio Play - Act Two
BIG MAN STANDS.
247. NARRATOR
Act Two. The Big Man of Crime enters his offices, but finds he’s not alone…
248. BIG MAN
You spend so much time here, I’ll need to buy you your own chair. So you’ll stay out of mine.
Green Goblin STANDS.
249. GREEN GOBLIN
Surprised to see me?
250. BIG MAN
Not particularly.
251. GREEN GOBLIN
Then you won’t be surprised to learn I’m still running things…
252. BIG MAN
If you can run them from a hospital bed…
253. NARRATOR
Catching Gobby off guard, Lincoln punches him right through the window…
254. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact grunt>
255. NARRATOR
The goblin-glider swoops in and catches the Goblin, who pulls out a Pumpkin Bomb.
PUMPKIN BOMB STANDS.
256. GREEN GOBLIN
Ever the gracious host. And ever the gracious guest, the Goblin must show his appreciation. Here. I brought a gift.
257. NARRATOR
Gobby throws his “giftâ€, but Goliath swoops in, catches it and throws it back.
Goliath and Spider-Man STAND.
258. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
259. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact>
260. NARRATOR
Not far away…
261. SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, no, no… I was hoping I’d never hear that trademark Pumpkin Bomb shriek again…
262. NARRATOR
Spidey swings in to find Goliath and a recovering Gobby together…
263. SPIDER-MAN
So that’s what these gargoyles are… more of the Goblin’s Halloween creations…
264. NARRATOR
Spidey swings into action against Goliath.
265. GOLIATH, SPIDER-MAN
<ad-lib battle sounds>
266. GOLIATH
The Bugle was right about you: you are a threat and a menace!
267. SPIDER-MAN
Wait, you can talk? And read?! And what you read is the Jolly One’s editorials?!
268. GREEN GOBLIN
I know I should assassinate Mr. Lincoln. But I’m so enjoying the show. Really, someone should make more Gargoyles. I know: I’ll call Walt Disney.
Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Goliath, Pumpkin Bomb and Big Man sit. ANGELA, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY and LEXINGTON STAND.
269. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, atop the Eyrie Building, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway watch Angela playing with Brooklyn’s son Nashville…
270. ANGELA
That’s great, Nashville. This time try the axe…
271. BROADWAY
Wow, Angela looks so adorable playing with Gnash. I mean, Gnash is cute too…
272. BROOKLYN
Thanks. I know he hatched in another decade, but Katana and I discussed it, and we want the whole clan to be Gnash and Egwardo’s Rookery parents…
273. BROADWAY
We’d be honored…
274. LEXINGTON
I still can’t quite take it all in. I go to Britain for a few weeks, and everything changes…
275. BROADWAY
At least you were gone for weeks. Try adjusting in forty seconds.
276. BROOKLYN
Hey, I had forty years to get ready for this, and it’s still strange…
277. LEXINGTON
But, dude. You’re so… old.
278. BROOKLYN
Thanks.
279. LEXINGTON
Older than Goliath.
280. BROOKLYN
Yeah.
281. LEXINGTON
Almost Hudson’s age.
282. BROOKLYN
I get it. I’m old.
283. LEXINGTON
It’s not that. Everything about you is different.
284. BROOKLYN
Oh, come on…
285. BROADWAY
No, he’s right. The way you talk. The way you move. All those weapons you carry now. It’s like you’ve outgrown us.
286. BROOKLYN
That’s not fair. I can’t tell you how much I missed you both.
287. LEXINGTON
We get that. And we’re not mad. But…
288. BROOKLYN
Look, this isn’t all on me. As I recall, things were already changing. Broadway spent all his time with Angela.
289. BROADWAY
Not all my time.
290. LEXINGTON
Uh… pretty much.
291. BROADWAY
Yeah, well, you’re practically on the internet non-stop.
292. LEXINGTON
It’s addictive! Do you know they have porn on that thing? There’s this one website, Blue Mug Prodâ€"
293. BROOKLYN
I don’t wanna know. The point is we’ve all gone through some changes. That’s just life.
294. BROADWAY
I guess our Three Musketeer days are over…
295. LEXINGTON
Yeah…
Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
296. ZAFIRO
Gargoyles of Manhattan!
297. OBSIDIANA
We need you’re help!
298. NARRATOR
At just that moment, the sun rises, turning Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Angela and Gnash to stone. Obsidiana and Zafiro are unaffected, thanks to their mystic Mayan pendants.
299. ZAFIRO
Mierda.
300. OBSIDIANA
Nuestro cronometraje apesta hoy.
Obsidiana, Zafiro, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Angela sit. Spider-Man, Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.
301. NARRATOR
Across town, Goliath also turns to stone.
302. SPIDER-MAN
What the heck?!
303. GREEN GOBLIN
Well, that was… unexpected.
304. SPIDER-MAN
All right, that’s enough. I know you’re not the real Gobby.
305. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes, yes, “It’s not the voice; it’s the words. Not the tech, but the moves.†I’ve heard it all before…
306. SPIDER-MAN
Then I know exactly who you really are: Chameleon!
307. GREEN GOBLIN
That would ease your conscience, wouldn’t it? To think I’m Chameleon â€" and not the ghost of the man you killed!
308. SPIDER-MAN
I don’t believe in ghosts.
309. GREEN GOBLIN
Then maybe you’d prefer I was the Spawn of Goblin.
310. SPIDER-MAN
Oh, you’d just love to shift the blame to Harry. Sorry, Gobby â€" I mean, Chammy â€" but we’ve been there, done that. Besides, no matter who you are, there hasn’t been time for the Globulin Green to kick in and truly Goblify you. So I’m gonna take you down now while you’re still just a cheap imitation.
311. GREEN GOBLIN
You could do that… or you could save stoneface over there.
312. NARRATOR
Gobby throws a pumpkin bomb at Goliath. Instinctively, Spidey webs it away…
313. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
Pumpkin Bomb and Green Goblin sit.
314. NARRATOR
By which time, the Goblin is gone, leaving a confused Spidey perched on Goliath’s head…
315. SPIDER-MAN
So in hindsight, I’m thinking maybe you weren’t part of the Gob-Squad, right?
(beat)
Fine. Stonewall me.
May STANDS.
316. NARRATOR
That morning in Forest Hills, Spidey sneaks in through his bedroom window, hoping to catch a few Zs.
317. MAY
Peter, are you awake.
318. PETER
Uh, sure Aunt May. Just getting dressed.
319. MAY
Well, hurry up. I’m… “conferencing†with all the other parents.
Robbie, ROSIE THOMPSON and George STAND.
320. ROBBIE
Are you sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Parker? Cuz I gotta say, what you’re proposing would be my worst nightmare.
321. MAY
<laughs> Oh, I don’t believe that for a minute, Mr. Robertson. It’s a joy to be around Peter and his friends. And I won’t be alone. Anna Watson and Mrs. Osborn will be with me.
322. ROSIE
Emily? She’s so… odd. I don’t think she’s ever said one word to me…
323. MAY
Well, I don’t know her very well, Rosie, but Harry is Peter’s best friend â€" no offense to your Eugene â€" so she must be doing something right.
324. ROSIE
May, you never change. Always seeing the best in people.
325. MAY
I’ll take that as a compliment, dear girl.
326. GEORGE
In any case, I’m glad to get Gwen out of Manhattan for a few days. The streets are looking pretty grim right about now.
327. MAY
Oh, I’m sure your officers will have things under control in no time.
328. PETER
Aunt May, what’s going on?
329. MAY
Oh, didn’t I tell you, Peter. I’m chaperoning your trip to Miami Beach!
330. PETER
Wow. Great.
Peter, May, George, Rosie and Robbie sit. Big Man and Dominique STAND.
331. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, back at L. Thompson Lincoln’s office…
332. BIG MAN
And how can I be of help, Ms. Destine.
333. DOMINIQUE
I think I can help you, Mr. Lincoln.
334. BIG MAN
What makes you think I need any help?
335. DOMINIQUE
Oh, little things. The shattered window, that unusual statue on the ledge outside…
336. BIG MAN
Point taken. How about you cut to the chase?
337. DOMINIQUE
Fine. Tony Dracon. Tomas Brod. Silvio Manfredi. All in jail. Hammerhead. Sable Manfredi. On the run. This gives you a unique opportunity to reclaim what was lost.
338. BIG MAN
I’m sure L. Thompson Lincoln has no idea what you’re talking about. But go on…
339. DOMINIQUE
You have three problems. Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and the government watching your every move.
340. BIG MAN
And you have the solution…
341. DOMINIQUE
I have the manpower. Three… “super-villains†to take down the competition and Dominic Dracon to use as a figurehead.
342. BIG MAN
The old man? I heard he was shy a few brain cells.
343. DOMINIQUE
It’s easy enough to spread the word he was faking insanity to avoid prosecution. And easy enough to assign him a keeper. Meanwhile, he’s a Dracon. And that name still carries weight, I believe.
344. BIG MAN
It does. But what would you want in exchange?
345. DOMINIQUE
Nothing extraordinary. Just the services of the Tinkerer.
346. BIG MAN
I believe that can be arranged.
347. DOMINIQUE
Lovely. But let’s not allow the moss to gather. You’ll want to move fast. Before the Octopus retrieves his arms…
Dominique and Big Man sit. SILVER SPOON MANAGER, Vulture, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and Electro STAND.
348. NARRATOR
The weather has turned cold. At the Silver Spoon, three men in trench coats and hats wait for their coffee.
349. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Sixty-nine!
350. VULTURE
Yes. Here.
351. NARRATOR
Vulture sits down with Electro and Doctor Octopus.
352. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Thank you, Adrian. Now. My arms?
353. VULTURE
In an OsCorp vault.
354. ELECTRO
At Rykers?!
355. VULTURE
<shhhhh> Not THE Vault. A vault. Still very high security, and the police are bound to expect our arrival, but…
356. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed. <sigh> OsCorp. Even in death, Norman Osborn torments me. But it cannot be helped. I must have my arms. We go in under cover of darkness tonight.
Doctor Octopus, Vulture and Electro sit. Silver Spoon Manager remains standing. Peter and Mary Jane STAND.
357. NARRATOR
The three men exit through one door. Two teenagers enter through another.
358. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy!
359. MARY JANE
Try to understand, Tiger. I just can’t do that to Gwen. She’s really become my best friend at Midtown.
360. PETER
But it’s not like we’d be making out or anything, right? Uh, right?
361. MARY JANE
Right.
362. PETER
Right, right. We’d be going as friends. Hanging out when the couples were … you know, coupling.
363. MARY JANE
And that would be great. But look at it from her point of view. She took all the risks, and you still wound up with Liz. There’s no way, she’d see me as anything but a threat. Wait, that sounded really conceited.
364. PETER
Have you looked in a mirror? Not conceited. Just fact.
365. MARY JANE
Ooh, nice one. Such a player.
366. PETER
Yeah, right. The world’s loneliest player.
367. MARY JANE
Stop it. I know you don’t want to hurt Gwen either. Not after all the two of you have been through.
368. PETER
Yeah… I wonder if Ms. Brant likes Miami. Kidding, kidding… Wow, pretty good. That was practically the Look.
369. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-One!
SEYMOUR O’REILLY stands.
370. PETER
So you’re just not going?
371. MARY JANE
Oh, I’m going. It’s 48 degrees outside and 82 in Miami. I asked Tiny to be my plus one.
372. PETER
Tiny?! Tiny McKeever?! The guy’s got the brain of an amoeba. He makes King Kong look like a genius. Hell, he makes Flash look like Stephen Hawking!
373. MARY JANE
(shrugs)
He’s cute.
374. PETER
<argggh> I just wish I could skip the whole thing. But Aunt May’s going, and after her heart attack, I really think she could use some fun in the sun--
375. SEYMOUR
Sorry to interrupt. Couldn’t help overhearing.
376. PETER
Oh, hey, Seymour.
377. SEYMOUR
Just wanted to let you know Harry invited me too. And I’m totally going stag. I mean who wants a ball and chain when Miami Beach is full of hotties, right?
378. PETER
Uh…
379. SEYMOUR
Just don’t expect to hang out, okay. You’d fully cramp my style.
380. PETER
Of course I would…
381. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-two!!
Silver Spoon Manager, Peter, Seymour and Mary Jane sit. Dominique and TINKERER STAND.
382. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, the Tinkerer arrives at the Destine Mansion…
383. DOMINIQUE
You have the devices?
384. TINKERER
Five was all I could put together on short notice. Unless you want to bring Mysterio in…?
385. DOMINIQUE
Our stage is crowded enough. And five should do quite nicely.
Dominique and Tinkerer sit. May, Mary Jane, GREG BISHANSKY, Sally, Gwen, Harry, Kong, Rand, Flash, Liz, Jason, Peter and Seymour STAND.
386. NARRATOR
Later that afternoon, Harry’s rented a party bus, and the gang is en route to the airport, stuck in heavy traffic on the expressway. A very prepared May Parker has a clipboard…
387. MAY
All right, we have three adults and sixteen children â€" sorry, sixteen teenagers. That’s nineteen sojourners bound for Florida. So why did my headcount come to twenty?
388. MARY JANE
I think you counted the bus driver, Mrs. Parker.
389. MAY
Oh, that I did.
390. BISHANSKY
Hey, twist my arm! I’ll go to Miami with you guys!!
391. SALLY
Was anyone talking to you?
392. BISHANSKY
Uh… no.
393. SALLY
Then eyes front.
394. BISHANSKY
Eyes front.
395. GWEN
Harry, are you all right?
396. HARRY
I dunno. All this stopping and starting. My stomach’s a little queasy…
397. KONG
Dude. Does this bus rock or what?!
398. RAND
‘Scool.
399. FLASH
Damn right it’s cool. Wouldn’t mind taking this baby all the way to Florida.
400. SALLY
Excuse me?! It’s a bus.
401. LIZ
Sally’s right. We’re not ditching the private jet for a bus. Right, Jason?
402. JASON
Uh…
403. SALLY
Right.
404. PETER
It really is a very nice bus though.
405. BISHANSKY
Hey, I’m not offended. I still can’t believe the Osborns hired me again. The last time, I got in two-- <impact grunt>
406. SEYMOUR
Dude, you totally rear-ended that guy at the tollbooth!
407. BISHANSKY
Not again…
408. SALLY
Wonderful. Now, we’ll be stuck here forever!
409. MAY
Everybody stay calm.
410. HARRY
Ah, man, gotta use the john…
411. KONG
<laughs> I think Osborn’s gonna hurl!
412. SALLY
Oh. My. God! If my hair starts smelling like vomit, I’ll sue you for bus-driver malpractice!!
413. BISHANSKY
Sorry, sorry…
Bishansky, Sally, Kong, Harry, May, Seymour, Peter, Jason, Liz, Flash, Rand, Gwen and Mary Jane sit. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
414. NARRATOR
The sun sets. At the castle, the gargoyles awaken…
415. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON
<awakening roars>
416. BROOKLYN
You must be Zafiro.
417. ZAFIRO
How did you know?
418. BROOKLYN
Strong family resemblance.
419. ZAFIRO
¿Perdón?
420. BROOKLYN
Long story. Time travel. The future. A whole other spin-off. Two actually…
421. OBSIDIANA
We don’t have time for your “spin-offsâ€. ¿Donde esta Goliath?
422. BROADWAY
He didn’t sleep here.
423. LEXINGTON
But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.
Elisa STANDS.
424. ELISA
He’d better. We have trouble. Demona trouble.
425. OBSIDIANA
Elisa!
426. ELISA
Hi, Obsidiana. I’m betting you have trouble too…
Elisa, Obsidiana, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Zafiro sit. Kraven, Calypso, Curt and Gulyadkin STAND.
427. NARRATOR
And while the clan awaits Goliath’s return…
428. KRAVEN
It is time, Calypso.
429. CALYPSO
Yes. The forces gather. We can make this one our own.
430. CURT
I demand you let me go!
431. KRAVEN
Hold your tongue, American dog. Or Gulyadkin will hold it for you.
432. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>
433. CALYPSO
Calm yourself… This change will not be difficult. The primitive bound within is barely skin-deep…
434. CURT
I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.
435. CALYPSO
I think you do. You see my companion. The details may have been created in a laboratory…
436. KRAVEN
But the soul of the Hunter â€" the beast inside â€" was always my own.
437. CURT
What are doing with that doll?
438. CALYPSO
Turning it inside out.
439. CURT
Listen to me, please. Even if you can release the “beast insideâ€, you don’t want to! It can’t be controlled.
440. KRAVEN
<laughs> Nyet. Not by you perhaps. But my Calypso is not so easily trifled with.
441. CALYPSO
It is time…
442. CURT
Noooo!!!! <transformation scream>
443. NARRATOR
Curt Connors is transformed by Calypso’s magic into the Lizard.
444. LIZARD
<roar>
445. KRAVEN
Now… to the Hunt!
Kraven, LIZARD, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit. Obsidiana, Zafiro, Angela, Elisa, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn STAND.
446. NARRATOR
Back at the Castle, Goliath has returned, and the entire clan has gathered. Elisa’s revealed what she knows about Demona. Now, it’s Obsidiana’s turn…
447. OBSIDIANA
It came from somewhere further south. Two human smugglers carrying an object of great power through the Green…
448. ZAFIRO
My mate is sensitive to these things. We tracked them, but they boarded a jet airplane and were soon out of our reach.
449. OBSIDIANA
Pero still I could sense great forces gathering. I asked Jade and Turquesa to teach us the way to Avalon…
450. ZAFIRO
Gabriel says hello, by the way.
451. ANGELA
Oh, I miss him. How is he?
452. ELISA
Angela, honey, let’s stay on point. I take it Avalon sent you here.
453. OBSIDIANA
Yes. We nearly achieved the totem, but a ridiculous human dressed in red and blueâ€"
454. ELISA, GOLIATH (UNISON)
Spider-Man…
455. OBSIDIANA
He did spin webs like a spider. Though from his hands, not hisâ€"
456. ZAFIRO
Focus, mi amor.
457. OBSIDIANA
Lo siento. This Man-Spider, he interfered. The smugglers escaped again. Now, power builds on power, rising to a crescendo.
458. BROADWAY
And that’s bad, right?
459. NARRATOR
Elisa’s cellphone rings.
Matt STANDS.
460. ELISA
Maza.
461. MATT
It’s Matt. Something’s going down at the OsCorp vault off the Expressway. Most of the Taskforce is already here. Stacy and his men too. But I’m thinking we might need… “back-upâ€. Lots and lots of back-up.
462. ELISA
We’re on our way. Brooklyn, can Bronx and Fu-Dog baby-sit Egwardo?
463. BROOKLYN
Of course.
464. ELISA
Good. Because otherwise it’s all hands on deck.
Elisa, Brooklyn, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath and Angela sit. George, Morgan and O’Neil STAND.
465. MATT
Okay, Captain. The rest of the Taskforce is on its way.
466. GEORGE
My men are deployed.
467. O’NEIL
And just in time! Cuz we got Gobby and his Pumpkin-Heads at 12 o’clock!
Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.
468. GREEN GOBLIN
Playtime!
469. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>
470. MORGAN
And a gargoyle at 3 o’clock!
471. GEORGE
That’s not a gargoyle. That’s the Vulture!
Vulture STANDS.
472. VULTURE
You were right, Otto. The police were waiting. And the Goblin is here too. You don’t think it could actually be Osborn, still alive, do you?
Doctor Octopus and Electro STAND.
473. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Do not get distracted by old grudges, Adrian. It hardly matters who wears the Green. His intent is still to prevent me from regaining my arms. You must keep the Goblin and the authorities occupied.
474. VULTURE
Of course.
475. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Now, Electro. Open the vault.
476. ELECTRO
Roger that, Doc!
477. NARRATOR
Electro, already inside, short-circuits the vault’s electro-magnetic lock.
Tinkerer and Demona STAND.
478. TINKERER
Electro’s breached the vault.
479. DEMONA
So predictable. Send in your operatives.
480. NARRATOR
Tinkerer opens a burlap sack, releasing his five “operativesâ€.
HOMUNCULUS #1, HOMUNCULUS #2, HOMUNCULUS #3, HOMUNCULUS #4 and HOMUNCULUS #5 STAND.
481. HOMUNCULUS #1
Homunculi to the rescue!
482. HOMUNCULUS #2
Dirty work to be done!
483. HOMUNCULUS #3
Peach Cobbler!
484. HOMUNCULUS #4
Uh oh, somebody’s language system’s off-line again.
485. HOMUNCULUS #5
You know it, girlfriend!
Calypso, Kraven and Lizard STAND.
486. NARRATOR
And down in the sewer…
487. CALYPSO
It is right above us, my love. The Power and the Glory. The very keys to the Kingdom.
488. KRAVEN
And Kraven will lay them all at your feet.
489. LIZARD
<lizard roar>
490. NARRATOR
Up top, a stretch limo skids to a stop outside the vault. Dominic Dracon and Fancy Dan emerge.
Dracon and FANCY DAN STAND.
491. DRACON
All right, boys. Get me those jewels!
492. FANCY DAN
I think what the boss means is… Destroy the competition!
Carnage, Colonel Jupiter and Venom STAND.
493. CARNAGE
<evil chuckle> Carnage time?
494. FANCY DAN
Yeah. Go. Kill. Whatever.
495. COLONEL JUPITER
Colonel Jupiter will stop the Green Goblin and Vulture in their tracks!
496. FANCY DAN
Knock yourself out. But what are you waiting for?
497. VENOM
Someone worthy of our hate. But we have faith… He’ll come…
498. GREEN GOBLIN
My, my, the field’s getting crowded. Let’s thin the herd. Pumpkin-Heads, release the hounds! <ahem> That was a metaphor. Throw your pumpkin bombs already!
499. PUMPKIN BOMB
<multiple shrieks>
Pumpkin Bomb, Green Goblin, Venom, Fancy Dan, Colonel Jupiter, Carnage, Dracon, Lizard, Kraven, Calypso, Homunculus #5, Homunculus #4, Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Demona, Tinkerer, Electro, Doctor Octopus, Vulture, George, Morgan, O’Neil and Matt SIT. May, Peter, Bishansky, Flash, Kong, Sally, Mary Jane, Gwen and Harry STAND.
500. MAY
Goodness, what was that?
501. PETER
Something The Bugle will want pictures of. Open the door.
502. BISHANSKY
Uh…
503. MAY
Peter Parker, I am not letting you off this bus in the middle of the expressway.
504. PETER
Aunt May we’re at a complete standstill. And you don’t have to worry. I’ll use my telephoto lens. I won’t be anywhere near the action.
505. MAY
I suppose it is your job… Open the door.
506. BISHANSKY
Yes, ma’am.
507. PETER
Thanks, Aunt May. You rock!
508. FLASH
If Puny Parker’s going, I’m going too!
509. MAY
Eugene Thompson, you sit your backside down in that seat right this minute.
510. FLASH
Yes, ma’am.
511. KONG
<laughs>
512. SALLY
What’s he going to take pictures with? I saw his camera get blown up two months ago.
513. MARY JANE
Pete’s a professional photographer, Sally. I’m sure he has more than one camera.
514. GWEN
Harry… Are you all right in there?
515. HARRY
<vomit noise> Ugh, don’t come in. It really isn’t pretty.
Harry, Gwen, Mary Jane, Sally, Kong, Flash, May, Peter and Bishansky sit. Broadway, Goliath, Brooklyn, Angela, Elisa, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.
516. NARRATOR
The clan alights on a rise overlooking the battlefield.
517. BROADWAY
Whoa, what a mess…
518. GOLIATH
We will split our forces. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro with me.
519. BROOKLYN
Shouldn’t I lead the other contingent?
520. GOLIATH
I need your experience and your weapons at my side.
521. ANGELA
Don’t worry, Brooklyn, we’ve got it covered.
522. NARRATOR
Angela, Hudson, Katana, Gnash, Coldstone and Coldfire glide toward the battle.
523. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY (UNISON)
Be careful!
Angela sits.
524. ELISA
You know I’m going with you.
525. GOLIATH
Not this time, Elisa. You must join your fellow officers…
526. ELISA
Butâ€"
527. GOLIATH
When all is settled, we shall need your help to cover our retreat from this conflagration… You know this is true.
528. ELISA
(defeated)
Yes.
Elisa sits. Spider-Man STANDS.
529. NARRATOR
Elisa makes her way down the hill. Goliath and the others glide to the Vault’s roof. Spider-Man lands there at the same time.
530. SPIDER-MAN, ZAFIRO (UNISON)
You again!
531. GOLIATH
Hold, Spider-Man. I have a friend who knows your Captain Stacy.
532. SPIDER-MAN
Really?
533. GOLIATH
This policeman believes in you. So I choose to believe in you as well.
534. SPIDER-MAN
Says the eight-foot tall medieval monster. But I get it. We’re on the same side. So let’s go kick some Pumpkin-Butt!
535. ZAFIRO
¡Idiota! That battle is a mere distraction.
536. OBSIDIANA
The true danger lies within…
537. SPIDER-MAN
All right, all right, you had me at “Idiotaâ€.
538. NARRATOR
The gargoyles rip open the rooftop. The seven heroes descend, but someone watches…
Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn sit. Venom and Fancy Dan STAND.
539. VENOM
And there goes our Bro…
540. FANCY DAN
You going in? That wasn’t the plan!
541. VENOM
And how do intend to stop us?
542. FANCY DAN
Fine, go. But if you see my Ricochet suit, bring it out!
Fancy Dan and Venom sit. Foswell, Jonah and Robbie STAND.
543. FOSWELL
See, J.J. The tip from Dracon’s old chauffer was right on the money.
544. JONAH
Whaddaya want, a fershlugginer medal?! Let’s get in there!
545. ROBBIE
Slow down, Jonah. I promised Joan I wouldn’t let you lose your head, figuratively or literally.
546. JONAH
Forget my head! Who cares about my head?! My boy needs me!
Ned and Colonel Jupiter STAND.
547. NED
Looks to me like your boy’s doing pretty well, Chief!
548. COLONEL JUPITER
Take that, miscreants!
549. ROBBIE
Ned, how did youâ€"
550. NED
Tip from one of the pumpkin-heads. Foswell’s not the only one with sources.
551. JONAH
You two can naked mud-wrestle over who’s the biggest brown-noser later. For now, Robbie, if you don’t let go of me in zero-point-zero seconds, I’ll dropkick you to next Season! And there’s no guarantee there’ll be a next Season!
552. NARRATOR
Jonah breaks away from Robbie, but his path is blocked…
Elisa STANDS.
553. ELISA
Get back! You want to wind up street pizza!
554. JONAH
But that’s my son up there.
555. ELISA
Yeah, well, at least he’s fighting on the right side.
556. COLONEL JUPITER
Nothing stands against the might of Colonel Jupiter!
557. ELISA
Does he always talk like that?
558. ROBBIE
Bombasticism runs in the family.
Robbie, Elisa, Colonel Jupiter, Jonah, Ned and Foswell sit. Vulture, Carnage, Green Goblin, Angela, Fancy Dan, Matt and Dracon STAND.
559. NARRATOR
Jupiter takes down Pumpkin-Heads right and left. Hudson squares off against Vulture.
560. VULTURE
Why do I get the old guy?
561. NARRATOR
You’re old. He’s old. It’s parallelism. Get over it.
(beat)
Coldstone and Coldfire isolate Carnage.
562. CARNAGE
No fair! These two don’t spatter at all!
563. NARRATOR
Angela and Katana take on the Goblin.
564. GREEN GOBLIN
Oh, goody. Gobby likes getting down and dirty with the hotties.
565. ANGELA
Oh, you did not just say that.
566. NARRATOR
And little Gnash goes after Fancy Dan.
567. FANCY DAN
Admit it, you gave me the kid because I’m short?
568. NARRATOR
Even Detective Bluestone gets into the act.
569. MATT
Freeze, Dracon!
570. DRACON
You’re confused. I’m G.F. Benton, a certified public accountant. I think I’ll be going now…
571. MATT
Yeah. Back to Ravencroft, you old nutter!
572. NARRATOR
But inside, things are a bit more serious…
Matt, Dracon, Fancy Dan, Angela, Green Goblin, Carnage and Vulture sit. Electro and Doctor Octopus STAND.
573. ELECTRO
Got your arms, Doc!
574. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
And my Megalo-Pack?
575. ELECTRO
You’re Mega-what now?
576. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
My power-source, Maxwell.
577. ELECTRO
Right, right. No. That’s not here.
578. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
What?!
Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #3 STAND.
579. HOMUNCULUS #1
Gotta get the true treasure!
580. HOMUNCULUS #2
Bring it back to the big Smurfette!
581. HOMUNCULUS #3
Blunk hates getting wet!
582. NARRATOR
Three Homunculi fly deeper into the vault to retrieve Demona’s prize.
Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Zafiro, Spider-Man, Lexington, Homunculus #5, Goliath, Brooklyn, Broadway and Obsidiana STAND.
583. ZAFIRO
What are those things?!
584. SPIDER-MAN, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
Robots!
585. LEXINGTON
And I got one!
586. HOMUNCULUS #5
Leggo, you big bully!
587. LEXINGTON
<ugh> What an annoying voice…
588. HOMUNCULUS #5
(aside to audience)
Look who’s talking.
589. LEXINGTON
…But I might be able to use it to take control of the others.
590. SPIDER-MAN
I think I can help.
Venom STANDS.
591. VENOM
You’ll be a little too busy for that, Bro.
592. GOLIATH
Friend of yours?
593. SPIDER-MAN
Once upon a time. Not so much now.
594. VENOM
Die, Spider-Man!
595. VENOM, SPIDER-MAN
<add-lib battle sounds>
596. SPIDER-MAN
A little help?
597. NARRATOR
Brooklyn blasts Venom, who collapses.
598. VENOM
<vibrating scream>
Venom sits.
599. BROOKLYN
Sonic Cannon. Circa 2198. Guess my weapons do come in handy.
600. LEXINGTON
Just cover me until I can get this working…
Demona and Tinkerer STAND.
601. DEMONA
What’s wrong, Tinkerer? Why haven’t they returned?
602. TINKERER
Someone’s trying to counter their programming. He won’t succeed.
603. DEMONA
He had better not.
604. LEXINGTON
My hack’s being hacked!
605. TINKERER
He’s overriding my override!
Homunculus #4 STANDS.
606. HOMUNCULUS #4
Go right. Go left. Go right. Go left. Blow up!
607. NARRATOR
Homunculus #4 blows up. But so does Homunculus #5 in Lexington’s hands!
608. LEXINGTON
<pain cry>
609. BROADWAY
Lexington!
Homunculus #4 and Homunculus #5 sit.
610. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
This is madness! Grab my arms and get me out of here!
611. ELECTRO
Workin’ on it!
612. NARRATOR
Electro blasts away, until he and Doc Ock are blindsided by…
Kraven, Gulyadkin, Lizard and Calypso STAND.
613. ELECTRO, DOCTOR OCTOPUS
<impacts>
614. BROADWAY
Look, it’s Claw.
615. KRAVEN
<roar>
616. BROOKLYN
That’s not Claw.
617. BROADWAY
Well, it’s sure not Maggie.
618. GULYADKIN
<lion roar>
619. LEXINGTON
(recovering)
Is that an actual lion?
620. LIZARD
<lizard roar>
621. SPIDER-MAN
Lizard, too? Seriously, this is way over the top.
Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.
622. HOMUNCULUS #1
Got the gizmo!
623. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi never fail!
624. NARRATOR
Two homunculi fly past, carrying a sealed container down a dark corridor.
625. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA (UNISON)
The totem!
(pointing at each other)
Don’t let her near it!
626. KRAVEN
Go, Calypso! Leave them to us!
627. ZAFIRO
¡Vaya, mi amor!
628. BROOKLYN
We got your back, Goliath! Go!
629. SPIDER-MAN
Think I’ll tag along too…
Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Calypso, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Goliath, Tinkerer and Demona sit.
630. NARRATOR
Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spider-Man race down the corridor.
631. KRAVEN
Lizard, take the reptile!
632. ZAFIRO
¡No soy ningún reptil! ¡Soy un Gárgolo!
633. ZAFIRO, LIZARD
<ad-lib battle sounds>
634. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin attack!
635. GULYADKIN
<pounce roar>
636. NARRATOR
Gulyadkin and Kraven attack Lex and Broadway!
637. LEXINGTON
Hey, get him off me!
638. BROADWAY
Kinda busy at the moment!
639. GULYADKIN, LEXINGTON, KRAVEN, BROADWAY
<ad-lib struggles>
640. NARRATOR
Brooklyn steps in and pulls both cats off his rookery brothers. They turn on him.
641. BROOKLYN
Uh oh.
642. BROADWAY, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
All for one!
643. NARRATOR
The two gargoyles return the favor, knocking Kraven and Gulyadkin aside. Then Brooklyn blasts them both.
644. BROOKLYN
And one for all!
645. KRAVEN, GULYADKIN
<blast impacts>
646. LEXINGTON
Some things never change.
647. NARRATOR
Zafiro throws Lizard’s unconscious body on top of Kraven…
648. KRAVEN, LIZARD
<oofs>
649. ZAFIRO
We should follow Obsidiana…
650. ZAFIRO, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
<electrocution scream>
651. NARRATOR
The four gargoyles are dropped by Electro’s blast.
652. ELECTRO
Still want out?
653. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed not. My curiosity is piqued. Let’s see where this leads…
Doctor Octopus, Electro, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Zafiro, Gulyadkin, Kraven and Lizard sit. Demona, Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.
654. NARRATOR
Electro and Octopus head down the corridor… In a dimly lit room, Demona holds the Spear of Destiny and watches as the two homunculi open the container. Inside… is a crown of thorns.
655. DEMONA
The Crown of Thorns!
656. NARRATOR
Demona removes her tiara.
657. DEMONA
Place it on my head…
658. HOMUNCULUS #1
Placing, placing…
659. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi aim to please!
660. NARRATOR
The Homunculi gently lower the crown onto Demona’s head before disappearing back into the darkness. The thorns bite into her brow, drawing blood. Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spidey come rushing in.
Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Spider-Man, Goliath, Calypso and Obsidiana STAND.
661. DEMONA
My Kingdom come. My Will be done…
662. SPIDER-MAN
Friend of yours?
663. GOLIATH
Once upon a time. Not so much now.
664. DEMONA
On Earth as it is in Heaven…
665. CALYPSO
Too late…
666. OBSIDIANA
Too late…
667. DEMONA
For MINE is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever and ever…
668. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA, SPIDER-MAN (UNISON)
Amen…
669. NARRATOR
Light radiates outward from the Spear. Goliath watches in confusion as Calypso, Obsidiana and Spider-Man drop to their knees before Demona. Octopus and Electro enter and likewise fall to their knees. The light reaches the outer vault. Though still unconscious, Venom, Lizard, Zafiro and Kraven lurch to their feet, then drop to their knees. And still the light advances…
Obsidiana and Calypso sit.
670. GOLIATH
What sorcery is this?!
671. DEMONA
The most powerful human sorcery ever created, Goliath. This is humanity’s Armageddon. Their entire race’s final act.
END ACT TWO
NEXT: ACT THREE...
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