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Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


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G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Three

672. NARRATOR
Act Three.

673. DEMONA
Norman Osborn was a fool. So obsessed with the power of science, he kept the Crown of Thorns in this vault as if it was just another souvenir â€" albeit an expensive one â€" to hang upon his wall. But with the Crown and the Spear of Destiny together, I now have the power to force all of humanity to its knees.

674. GOLIATH
These are Christian icons, Demona. Not every human being is a Christian.

675. DEMONA
Not every human being speaks Latin, but that didn’t stop me from using a Latin spell to turn a city-full of humans to stone. The magic I wield is potent beyond measure. Mine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory. No human may resist. No human will be spared. None will be spared who oppose me. Just look at this fool…

676. GOLIATH
Her name is Obsidiana.

677. DEMONA
Of course it is. For she wears the mystic Obsidian pendant fashioned by human sorcerers. Even that is enough to put her in my thrall. She has relinquished her gargoyle birthright.

678. GOLIATH
I have relinquished nothing.

679. NARRATOR
Demona waves the Spear of Destiny, and Electro rises and blasts Goliath back into the wall.

680. GOLIATH
<impact>

681. DEMONA
Yes, I’m surprised you’re unaffected… since you reek of humanity. The stink of your human whore is in your hair, on your lips, everywhere. And nothing in this world will give me more pleasure, Goliath, than watching your detective on her knees to me, as she draws her service revolver and thanks me with tears of joy in her eyes… before gratefully blowing out her own brains.

682. GOLIATH
(coldly furious)
That will never be.

683. DEMONA
No? My power expands with every second. I doubt she’s far away.

684. GOLIATH
You will not harm Elisa.

685. NARRATOR
Goliath advances on Demona. Electro blasts away, but Goliath will not be stopped…

686. DEMONA
No one ever said you weren’t persistent, Goliath. But what do you hope to gain?

687. GOLIATH
(through gritted teeth)
I will turn these forces back upon you.

688. DEMONA
Impossible. I am the last true gargoyle left on this world. The Crown’s magicks cannot touch me.

689. GOLIATH
So you believe. But I am not the only one who reeks of humanity. Am I… Dominique?!

690. NARRATOR
Goliath grasps the crown. The thorns bite into his hands, drawing blood. They struggle for control of the immense power…

691. GOLIATH, DEMONA
<roaring to the heavens>

692. SPIDER-MAN
<moan>

693. NARRATOR
Goliath’s intervention â€" and his complete immunity to the Crown’s effects â€" creates the smallest of fluctuation in Demona’s control. In a haze, Spider-Man lifts his arm…

694. SPIDER-MAN
Thwip.

695. NARRATOR
He shoots off a web, yanking the bloody crown from Demona’s head.

696. DEMONA
Noooooo!!!!

697. NARRATOR
There is a massive explosion of mystic energy and light! Demona, Goliath and Electro collapse.

698. GOLIATH
<moan>

699. SPIDER-MAN
Goliath…

700. GOLIATH
The Spear… the Crown…

701. SPIDER-MAN
Gone. I think they… blew up. Calypso’s gone too. But I’m betting that’s just a talent of hers. And I’d guess she’s taken Kraven and the pussycat with her.

702. DEMONA
<unconscious moan>

703. SPIDER-MAN
But the Big Bad’s still here…

704. GOLIATH
(sadly)
Leaving behind, as always, nothing but a handful of thorns…

Goliath, Spider-Man and Demona sit. Jonah, Elisa, Matt and George STAND.

705. NARRATOR
While Goliath helps Obsidiana, Spidey webs up Demona, Electro and Ock. In the outer vault, Zafiro and the Trio recover, finding only an unconscious and de-venomed Eddie Brock. Outside, the bad guys have all been beaten. Goblin and Vulture, their tech badly damaged, barely manage to fly away. Carnage and Jupiter are once again Cletus and John.

706. JONAH
I’m here, Johnny. Your old Pop’s here…

707. ELISA
Matt…

708. MATT
Call an ambulance, Elisa. Old Man Dracon said something about seeing a light. Then he collapsed. A stroke or something. I’ve been giving him C.P.R.

709. ELISA
Matt… Matt! You can stop. Stop. He’s gone.

710. GEORGE
You’re gargoyles are flying off, Detective.

711. MATT
(breathing hard)
Really? Not sure I see ‘em myself. But is that Spidey web-slinging away?

712. GEORGE
You think? I must have missed him?

Margot STANDS.

713. MARGOT
Are you all blind?! They’re right over there!

714. GEORGE, MATT, ELISA (UNISON)
Oh, give it a rest, Margot…

Elisa, Matt, George, Margot and Jonah sit. Peter, May, Harry and Gwen STAND.

715. NARRATOR
Back at the bus…

716. PETER
I’m back. And not a single decent picture to show for my efforts.

717. MAY
Well, you tried your best, Peter. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will appreciate that.

718. PETER
Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetheart that way.

719. NARRATOR
Emily Osborn watches as her son finally emerges from the bathroom.

720. GWEN
Harry?

721. HARRY
Hey, Gwen. I feel much better.

Harry, Gwen, Peter and May sit. Jonah and Robbie STAND.

722. NARRATOR
Later that night, at The Bugle…

723. JONAH
Whaddayou mean I can’t publish it?! How else can I make them all pay for what they did to Johnny!

724. ROBBIE
You can’t publish because the authorities refuse to comment. We have no pictures or statements to corroborate a story that includes gargoyles, a dead Green Goblin and everything except the kitchen sink. No one will believe it. I was there, and I don’t believe it! Print this, Jonah, and The Bugle becomes the next Daily Tattler.

725. JONAH
Ms. Brant, call the bomb squad. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!

Jonah and Robbie sit. Gwen, Peter, Kong, Curt, Harry, EMILY OSBORN and Mary Jane STAND.

726. NARRATOR
Later still, aboard OsCorp’s private jet en route to Miami…

727. GWEN
I still can’t believe we ran into you in the airport parking lot, Doctor Connors.

728. PETER
Yeah, and we’re so sorry you got mugged.

729. KONG
Dude, they took your shoes?! That’s hilarious! <laughs>

730. CURT
Yes, well, I just really appreciate the ride back to Florida…

731. HARRY
Anytime, Doctor C. Anytime.

732. EMILY
Harry, could I have a moment… in your father’s office?

733. HARRY
Uh, sure, Mom.

Curt, Kong and Gwen sit.

734. MARY JANE
Pete, help.

735. PETER
What’s wrong?

736. MARY JANE
Tiny. Cute enough, but it’s like talking to a tree stump.

737. PETER
Tried to warn you.

738. MARY JANE
Just say we’ll spend the week as a threesome, okay, Tiger.

739. PETER
Sure!

740. MARY JANE
Not that kind of threesome.

Mary Jane and Peter sit.

741. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Harry follows his mother Emily into the jet’s private office.

742. EMILY
I know you were playing at being the Goblin, Harry.

743. HARRY
What?! Mom, that’s crazy! I was in the bathroom…

744. EMILY
Don’t lie to me, baby. You hired the worst chauffer in the city to delay our progress. You had a secret hatch installed in the bus bathroom, so you could slip in and out undetected. And you left a pre-recorded “vomit tape” with voice recognition software. All very impressive for a sixteen-year-old. But you need to understand… the Green Goblin is not what your father wanted for you.

745. HARRY
I have no idea what Dad wanted for me…

746. EMILY
Then let him tell you…

747. NARRATOR
She slips a DVD into the computer and Norman Osborn appears on screen…

NORMAN OSBORN STANDS.

748. NORMAN
Harry, my son. If you are watching this, then I am dead. And I have instructions…

Norman, Emily and Harry sit. Big Man, Blackie and SHARI STAND.

749. NARRATOR
Meanwhile at the Big Man’s office, he and Blackie Gaxton are visited by Shari, a young woman wearing a pendant depicting an eye atop a pyramid…

750. BIG MAN
Thirty-six.

751. BLACKIE
Thirty-five.

752. SHARI
Nine. Any problems?

753. BIG MAN
Not particularly. Ms. Destine was ready to believe I could find Dracon and the others useful.

754. BLACKIE
And that faux Goblin was happy to believe I’d been fooled into thinking he was the real thing.

755. NARRATOR
Blackie removes his false face, revealing that he is actually the Chameleon in disguise.

756. CHAMELEON
Just as he was happy to believe I was the real Blackie Gaxton. But I’m still not sure why the Society wanted all this…?

757. SHARI
Isn’t it enough to know the Illuminati appreciates your efforts?

CHAMELEON and Big Man sit. THAILOG, BRENTWOOD, Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 And Homunculus #3 STAND.

758. NARRATOR
Shari leaves Lincoln’s office and pulls out her cellphone…

759. SHARI
Dial Nightstone Unlimited.

760. THAILOG
Alexander Thailog.

761. SHARI
The Spear? The Crown?

762. THAILOG
Waiting for you to send to Duval.

763. BRENTWOOD
Brentwood capture little robot. Use it to control other little robots. When bright light shine, robots take spear and crown.

764. SHARI
Lovely.

765. THAILOG
What should we do with the Homunculi?

766. SHARI
Set them free. Maybe they’ll get their own series some day.

767. HOMUNCULUS #1
Free, free, set them free…

768. HOMUNCULUS #2
On basic cable and DVD…

769. HOMUNCULUS #3
Jazz hands!

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Shari, Thailog and Brentwood sit. Elisa and Goliath STAND.

770. NARRATOR
At the castle, Elisa’s cell rings.

771. ELISA
Maza… Yeah, Captain Stacy said you might call. Sure, he’s right here.

772. NARRATOR
She hands the phone to Goliath, who doesn’t quite know how to hold it. She takes it back and puts the call on speaker.

773. GOLIATH
Hello…?

Spider-Man STANDS.

774. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, Goliath. It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

775. GOLIATH
You protect your… neighborhood.

776. SPIDER-MAN
Just like you do the super-hero thing without the tights.

777. GOLIATH
Spider-Man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

778. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, I was just gonna say that. You saw that movie too?

779. GOLIATH
Movie?

780. ELISA
God, I love you… <kiss>

Elisa, Goliath and Spider-Man sit. Kafka STANDS.

781. NARRATOR
And finally â€" yes, finally â€" we end where we began. In the offices of Dr. Ashley Kafka at Ravencroft. She’s on the phone to her Board of Directors.

782. KAFKA
After all that tsuris, little has changed. Otto and Eddie are still disassociative. Max still needs a cure, and John still wants power. Cletus? He just keeps repeating, “I got a taste now,” over and over. Yes, we lost Dominic, I’m afraid. But we do have a new patient…

Dominique STANDS.

783. KAFKA (CONT)
…Dominique Destine.

784. DOMINIQUE
Just wait until the sun goes down…

Dominique and Kafka sit.

785. NARRATOR
The End.

THE END

NEXT: I finally get back to answering questions...


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


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DECEMBER 22

This day in Gargoyles' Universe History....

December 22nd...

1995
Just before dawn, the gargoyles are attacked by "Macbeth". After sunrise, David Xanatos kidnaps Hudson's sleeping body and replaces it with a stone statue. At sundown, the other gargoyles awaken and believe that Macbeth has used sorcery to keep Hudson asleep. Goliath & Lexington search for a cure, while Brooklyn & Broadway protect the statue from "Macbeth". Meanwhile, Xanatos reveals that in his bid for immortality, he plans to use Hudson to test the Cauldron of Life. And on Avalon, the Archmages and their allies launch their attack on the Avalon Clan.


Nobody here but us chickens.


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NOVEMBER 11

This day in Gargoyles' Universe History....

November 11th...

1994
Lex finishes fixing the motorcycle, and Brooklyn takes it for a ride. He is attacked by a motorcycle gang that destroys the bike. Demona comes to his aid and convinces him that humans are a danger to the clan. He agrees to help her make Goliath see the truth through magic. Xanatos' jail sentence is officially recorded. It immediately becomes clear to Elisa that he will only have to serve half of his sentence, after time off for good behavior. Elisa finds a good home for the gargoyles in the Clock Tower above her precinct house.

1995
Everyone converges at PackMedia Studios. Xanatos puts an end to the broadcast, but the spell is still in force. Macbeth attacks Demona, but she escapes. Goliath and Xanatos agree to team up to defeat Demona and end the spell. At dawn, the gargoyles all turn to stone. At the same time, the transformed humans become flesh again, without any memory of what had happened to them. Owen informs Xanatos that they need to set the sky on fire to break the spell. They begin preparations to do just that. When Elisa learns that the broadcast originated at the Xanatos-owned PackMedia Studios, she confronts Owen at the Eyrie Building. Both turn to stone at sundown. Shortly thereafter, the gargoyles arrive.

1996
5:38am EST - [withheld]


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NOVEMBER 10

This day in Gargoyles' Universe History....

November 10th...

1995
Macbeth sees enough of the broadcast to realize what Demona is up to. Elisa goes to the Clock Tower to wait for the gargoyles to awaken. At sundown, Owen, Fox and Elisa (as well as most of the humans in Manhattan) turn to stone. The gargoyles awaken at sundown and discover Elisa and the other stone humans. (Thailog also awakens at sundown. With no one at the castle to warn him, he watches Demona's spell on television and immediately turns to stone. He will remain stone in the television room, 24 hours a day until the spell is broken. But he has had his first exposure to Demona.) The gargoyles stop at Robbins' house. Being blind, he was unaffected by Demona's spell. They begin to search the city for Demona, who's on a killing spree, destroying stone humans in the streets. Separately, Macbeth and Xanatos also seek Demona.

1996
5:37am EST - [withheld]


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NOVEMBER 9

This day in Gargoyles' Universe History....

November 9th...

1995
The city honors Peter Choy and Rosaria Sanchez. Terrorists take hostages (including Brendan & Margot) at a bank. The gargoyles intervene and have their first encounter with the Weird Sisters. Wolf sees television coverage of the bank robbery and decides that he and the Pack are going to turn to a life of crime. Meanwhile, Demona and Xanatos initiate their plan to secure immortality by stealing a minute of life from everyone who watches their hijacked broadcast. However, Demona was fooling Xanatos, and actually succeeds in using the broadcast to turn everyone who watches into stone at night. Owen, Fox, Elisa and most of the humans in Manhattan see the broadcast. Xanatos does not watch.

1996
5:36am EST - [withheld]


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


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OCTOBER 16

This day in Gargoyles' Universe History....

October 16th...

1996
Xanatos and Owen make a third attempt to transfer the souls of Iago and Desdemona into independent robot bodies. It too fails. Later, David and Fox go out for the evening, leaving Alexander in Owen's care. Owen decides to teach Alexander his first lesson in magic. Owen transforms into Puck, then glamours himself and Alexander into dead-ringers for Goliath and Hudson. They "liberate" Coldstone from the Eyrie and take him to the Clock Tower. There, "Goliath" convinces Angela and Broadway to allow the souls of Desdemona and Othello to take up temporary residence inside their bodies. Coldstone is emptied of all three souls, and the Iago soul secretly enters Brooklyn. "Goliath" and "Hudson" then depart, leaving "Brooklyn" in charge. Iago convinces Othello and Desdemona to try out their new bodies. He then follows them to the Statue of Liberty, where he hints that they might keep Broadway and Angela's bodies for themselves. Meanwhile, Puck and Alexander enter Coldstone's body; they grab Lex, tie him up in a corner and gag him.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


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RANDOM STUFF

Another thing I REALLY wish I had seen at the Gathering is Keith David wielding a sword and quoting from Othello.

I heard that Michael Reaves has a brilliant (because it's simple) solution for how Goliath, Hudson and the Trio could speak modern English upon waking at the castle. Demona used a spell from the Grimorum on them the night before they woke up. Perfect. They'd never even have to know that there was a change in the language. I love it. (Wish I had thought of it.)


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.


Nobody here but us chickens.



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