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Alex "Cyclonus" Bishansky writes...

Ok, a rather stupid question.

Xanatos, Republican or Democrat?

Greg responds...

Independent.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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Sapphire writes...

Taurus said that Elisa Maza was the first human to visit New Olympus in over 2000 years meaning that around the time Christ was born, a human must of accidently stumbled on to New Olympus can you give discription of what must have happen to this human when he accidently dicovered the secret island?

Greg responds...

I can, yes.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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matt writes...

do you think it is possible and likely that Goliath and Iago are close relatives biologically, like cousins perhaps? they just seem pretty similar compared to most gargs... the black hair, the purple wings, etc.

i'm sorry, i know how you hate questions about bilogical garg relatives... but i had to know!

Greg responds...

I'm glad you put that in the past tense.

Otherwise I'd be worried that this response would upset you.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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Andrea writes...

What were your plans for Goliath and Angela ?

Greg responds...

Extensive.

Response recorded on June 20, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

How does Xanatos exploit the New Olympians?

Greg responds...

Any way he can.

Response recorded on June 19, 2001

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Basilisk writes...

Does the weight of a gargoyle increase when they turn to stone?

Greg responds...

Ask the floor.

Response recorded on June 19, 2001

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Jade writes...

Where was Demona during the Civil and Revolutionary war,and what did she do?PS Gargoyles is the best show ever!)

Greg responds...

Someplace. Lots of things.

Response recorded on May 09, 2001

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Shavri writes...

What is the most annoying question anyone has asked you here?

Greg responds...

(This set up is just too obvious.)

You mean BESIDES this one?

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who were Raven's parents?
Who were Coyote's parents?
Who were Anasi's parents?

Greg responds...

Who are your parents?

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Oberon writes...

1)You saud that Queen Mab was insane but was she when she ruled over the third race?
2)Did Mab have a husband?
3) If so, was he king, or beneith Mab
4) Was Oberon's fathre Mab's husband?

Greg responds...

1. Oh, yeah.

2. What only one?

3. Nothing's that simple.

4. See above.

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

This one's not really smart assed, but still amusing:
Question-
We definitely know that the Illuminati, and particularly Percival/Duval, would have been major antagonists for "Pendragon". Now that the "Arthurian survivors" contest is over, could you tell us now what other recurring antagonists you had planned for Arthur and Griff?

Greg responds...

Ask me later, but with more style.

Greg responds...

Sometimes I just type anything, huh?

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Siren writes...

The Fox/Titania controversy...
In the script for The Gathering, were the words that they spoke written out or was it just "psst psst..."?

Greg responds...

I guess if I wanted to start a bidding war on my copy of the script, I should answer, "The Former". :)

But I don't.

Unless we're talking BIG money.

Now what am I bid?

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Sapphire writes...

Oh Greg the episode Metamorphisis was pretty cool the mutagen thing and all. Do you know in reality how they do gene transference between different organisms like the gene tranference between Derek and a panther, electric eel and bat. Viruses they insert genes into viruses and inject them into a creature where the viruses insert the foreign genes into the creatures DNA and it usually takes 5 months for the creature's DNA to accept the foreign genes as opposed to the 2 days in the episode Metamorphisis. Also there is also a high risk that the immune system would gobble up the mutagen plus the body also gets rid of cells that are mutated so in reality if a mad scientist ever injected you with a mutagen containing the DNA of animals your immune system would destroy the mutagen or the cells that has been mutated

Greg responds...

Oh, sure. But, uh, Sevarius compensated for that with something that temporarily weakens the immune system.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Dexter writes...

Hey, I a question about Angela (big shock there)
(1) Do you think she'd ever be interested in playing guitar or any other type of musical intsrument? I mean, I guess the only-having-4-fingers thing might make that a little hard, but whatever.

(2)What about art? She seems like an art chic to me...at least an art buff if not an artist.

(3) How does she keep that skimpy outfit so clean? You'd think all that running around in a tan jumpsuit would get a girl dirty! heh heh

Greg responds...

This is the time on Schrpockets when we dance.

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Jason Barnett writes...

I know you've repeatedly stated that Peter Maza's connection to Coyote doesn't make his kids Fey but does it affect them at all? Perhaps shifting luck to their favor. Being turned into a bat-winged panther might seem unlucky but Derek wouldn't have met Maggie. Elisa lost an incredible amount of blood but still managed to survive being shot.

Greg responds...

I don't think so. But maybe Coyote would disagree.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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LSZ writes...

Why was Azrael of the Avalon clan named Azrael by the Magus et all? It seems to be a Muslim(and possibly Jewish, unsure) Angel name, not even a vaguely Christian one..why did they choose it?

Greg responds...

You try to come up with 36 angel names, huh?

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

How do Nokkar's people reproduce?

Greg responds...

Behind closed doors.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who is Fiona?

Greg responds...

Not Nought.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Todd Jensen writes...

In the list of characters' ages that you printed just now to Mel Celestial (from King Arthur all the way down to Thailog), you included a certain "Fiona". Who is she? I don't recall anyone by that name in the series.

Greg responds...

Really?

Must be a reason for that, don't you think?

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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matt writes...

i just watched "City of Stone Pt. 1" and i thought of something strange. Demona's spell steals one minute of life from all that see and hear it, right? i just can't imagine that Xanatos or Owen would believe this! i did the calculations and found that Demona would have to cast the spell on 525 million people to live a thousand years!!! 525,000,000!!!!! thats a TON of people. i know a thousand years is a long time to cast spells, but lets say that she casts this spell on a crowd of an average of 50 people, if the spell takes 30 seconds to cast she spent about 10 years of her life casting this spell!!! 10 YEARS constantly repeating this incantation!! yes, i know she didn't do all these spells in a row, i'm just putting it into perspective... another 500 years she was sleeping in stone, she certaintly wouldn't have alot of free time. she would've had to cast this spell on about 30 people a day, for a thousand years!! i understand that since Demona was lying none of this really matters, but what bugs me is that Xanatos and Owen so easily believed her. maybe Xanatos isn't as smart as we think, eh?

Greg responds...

Maybe he's just less anal than you.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Axem Gold writes...

I read the question asking you where Demona got those other Gargoyles in City of Stone. You replied say she got them in Walmart. Just one thing, did she buy them or steal them.

Greg responds...

I am now supposed to give a smart-ass response to a smart-ass response to one of my smart-ass responses.

This kind of thing is illegal in most states.

(Sorry, best I could come up with.)

Response recorded on April 09, 2001

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Aaron writes...

My favorite smart ass responses.

<<Demona Taina writes...

1. Where did Demona get those gargoyles from in "City Of Stone"?

Greg responds...

1. Wall-mart.>>

Which was funny enough when I read it as Walmart, but then I realized just what a terrible pun it is...

and...

<<Aaron writes...

Y'know, it's amazing how many of my questions seem to end up in the Smart Ass Responses category.

Greg responds...

It's also amazing how many of my responses end up in that category. I wonder why that is? >>

Sigh.

I haven't asked you about the Magus' given name lately, have I?

Greg responds...

I have nothing funny to say.

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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matt writes...

517- enlisted

if this is wrong, i'll do something tragic... kidding! i've just been trying to figure out 517 and 74 all day!!! i have no life!!

Greg responds...

Don't get tragic. But don't get a life either 'til you've solved this. Cause you haven't yet. :P

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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Duncan Devlin writes...

In the Guatemala episode, Jackal carved his face into Goliath's in his dream. If a person were to do this to a Gargoyle and he woke up at dusk, what would happen?

Greg responds...

Nothing nice.

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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Duncan Devlin writes...

Who is Nought?

Greg responds...

Who isn't?

(Something kinda familiar about this one, eh?)

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who really discovered the Americas in the Gargoyles Universe?

Greg responds...

Why, were they lost?

Response recorded on March 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Will any other existing characters that we know besides Robyn, Dingo, Yama and Fang serve a stink in the Redemption Squad?

Greg responds...

A "stink"?

Some typos are more equal than others.

Response recorded on March 29, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

I don't mean to sound pecimistic, but I was thinking:

What would happen to the fae (Oberon's children) whenever our sun goes supernova or burns out in about 6 billion years? If it goes supernova it will engulf the Earth with it, or if it burns out, everything living on the planet will die. The reason I ask, is because the fae don't seem to be very interested in exploring space, so since they are immortal, what do you think would become of them? (I feel I might get a smart-ass response to this)

Greg responds...

I'm pessimistic about your spelling.

[Was that smart-ass enough? It just didn't feel like it.]

Response recorded on March 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

How is it that the Stone of Destiny can talk?

Greg responds...

How is it that you can?

I know the above seems only to be a smart-ass response, but think about it.

Response recorded on March 29, 2001

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Cassandra writes...

My vote on favorite sarcastic reply from Greg.

Jim R. writes...
How long would a gargoyle last in college? And would he be able to afford it? :)

Greg responds...

That would depend on the gargoyle. And the financial aid package.

recorded on 02-15-01

Greg responds...

Eh, that's okay, I guess.

Response recorded on March 13, 2001

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Jon writes...

Favorite smart-ass remark:

Faieq writes...
In the Gargoyles Universe, how much truth is there in fortune cookies?

Greg responds...

All cookies are true. Especially Peanut Butter cookies.

(Personally, I've known a few disingenuous peanut butter cookies in my time, so I'm not sure I can back you on this one, Greg)

Good luck regaining your edge!

Greg responds...

Yeah, a few of you have picked that. It's one of my favorites too.

Response recorded on March 08, 2001

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One writes...

1) Is there any particular reason why Grandmother chooses to look like an aged native american woman and possess the mannerisms thereof? Most fae we've seen in the series perfer a youthful or mature adult form, usually not children or the elderly. Puck, Oberon, Titania, the Wyrd Sisters, Bean Sidhe, etc.

2) Who are among the eldest of the Fae race? Oberon? Titania? Mab?

3) Is Cold Iron the only way to kill a fae, if not, what other ways are there?

Greg responds...

1. The Weird Sisters took many forms. Some very young, some very old. Grandmother is comfortable in that form. (And also as Thunderbird or the Sea Monster.) Why shouldn't she be?

2. Mab certainly.

3. If I told you, Oberon would have to kill you.

Response recorded on March 08, 2001

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The Mighty Thor writes...

Lawrence Stone writes...
How do gargoyles view Homosexuality?

Greg responds...

On cable, like the rest of us.

This has got to be the best on in the arcive, mostly because you play it out so litteraly like with the "cauldran of life" It just really get's me how a question/magic spell can sound so good and start an intelegent conversation and then take any meaning or insight and compleatly nuke it.

Greg responds...

I think I see what you mean. Maybe.

Response recorded on March 07, 2001

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Zombie White writes...

SMART ASS STUFF...
you wanted to know those we loved... I liked the Bunji-jumping new olipians and the fea that evolved from books... I like the sens in the non-sens..

by the way, some people asked "what came first, the egg or the gargoyle"... come on, we all know it's the egg... if gargoyles are part of the evolution then they came from dinosaurs that layed eggs :P
then again, dinosaurs came from unicellulars that didn't O.o
who's the smart-ass now !?

Greg responds...

Uh, the egg? Or have we moved on to another topic?

Response recorded on March 07, 2001

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Dexter writes...

Hey, wussup? It's that really anoying punk again. So Lara Croft once appeared in a music video for some english band, think Angela could be in one of my band's music videos? Or does her contract with Disney rule that kinda stuff out? That'd be sweet if she could....i should call her...dammit!too bad i don't have her number

Greg responds...

Uh, ask her Uncle Walt for his blessing and see how far you get. Maybe if you have her home by ten?

Response recorded on March 07, 2001

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Patricia writes...

My fave S-A Response :) :

Faieq writes...
In the Gargoyles Universe, how much truth is there in fortune cookies?

Greg responds...

All cookies are true. Especially Peanut Butter cookies.

(This is my favorite question this month.)

Greg responds...

Yeah. That still makes me smile.

But i got lucky there. It was a good set-up.

Response recorded on March 02, 2001

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Siren writes...

Well, first off, Smart Ass answers are my favorite...But I can't pick one, so here are just a few of my favs.

Airwalker writes...
In the 'ONCE UPON A TIME...' segments you've done, we've seen why Malcolm would need to ally himself with a Gargoyle clan. But why would Hudson want
to ally himself with Malcolm?
Greg responds...
Patience, grasshopper...

Scott Iskow writes...
That last question of mine got me thinking...
Are there flying pigs in the Gargoyles Universe?
(Believe it or not, that's actually a serious question. Go fig.)
Greg responds...
I've got the bacon, do you have the catapult?

ndrew writes...
In the episode the gathering (part 2) what did titania whisper to fox at the end of the episode. I have been wondering this for a long time.
Greg responds...
You and what army?
Oh, yeah. That army. <WAVES> "Hi, guys!"

Heidi Doeing writes...
I don't think, despite your multiple attempts to evade the question, that anyone will stop until the real answer is given:
What did Anastacia whisper to Fox?
( ;) just thought I'd try again)
Greg responds...
You misspelled Anastasia.

Greg responds...

Yeah, those are pretty fun. Particularly the middle two.

The last one's a bit feeble.

And the first is just a famous reference.

Response recorded on March 02, 2001

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Siren writes...

Hey Greg, a while back, I asked you "Which came first? The gargoyle or the egg?". And you replied, "I did."...So which came after you?

Greg responds...

All the lovely folk at Walt Disney TV Animation.

(Most of whom were hatched.)

Response recorded on March 02, 2001

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Breath of Mystery writes...

Okay, I noticed this question has been circulating around the archives for a while. About what, if anything, was whispered to Fox by Titania in "The GatheringII." Due to the amount of smarty-pants responses you've been dealing out, I wanted to return the favor. So, my question is: Did Titania say "I will eat your heart" to Fox? And Yes, I know I am setting myself up to be brutally shot down, but hey. I was just wondering. Hav fun!

Greg responds...

I don't get it.

Response recorded on March 02, 2001

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Duncan Devlin writes...

My favorite smart-ass response was your answer to the question:
"Which came first, the gargoyle or the egg?"
Your answer: "I DID"

I even drew up a little comic around it in the New Yorker Magazine style.

Greg responds...

Cool. Can you post a link?

Response recorded on March 02, 2001

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warrioress writes...

My favorite smart-ass response:

Someone wrote...

What do you you think would be the reaction of the Canmore siblings (especially Jon) if they found out that Demona literally killed their father with one hand tied behind her back? (She was holding onto the Praying Gargoyle at the time he attacked her.)

Greg answered:

Gee. I think they'd dance a jig.

Whaddaya think their reactions would be?

Then there was the one person asking how Goliath was able to shave on the Avalon Tour, and Greg said something about Superman volunteering his heat vision.....

Greg responds...

Yeah. Those are okay. Nothing's grabbing me though. I guess they're only witty with a sense of spontanaity attached. Reviewing them may have been a bad idea.

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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VF writes...

My favorite responses (to most things, actually) are the ones that reveal a witty-but-slightly-quirky sense of humor without being malicious. So I'd have to pick these:

1) "... I realize that isn't the kind of answer you were looking for. ... And that amuses me."

2) "It's not that I didn't understand the question. It just struck me, no offense, as too silly to answer in any straight way. ... And the funny thing is, it still strikes me that way."

Greg responds...

Yeah, those are pretty good.

I just feel rusty, you know?

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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Emmlei writes...

fav smart-ass response: in reply to aris's follow-up about one my latest whisper question
Oh, well if that's what you want, then the answer is...

Hey, was that you're plan all along? To appeal to my sense of perversion?

yeah, that questions been asked way too much. so you gonna tell us? j/k

Greg responds...

nope

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

Here's one of my favorite smart-ass responses:

Anonymous writes...
do you know where i can find a picture of some neat looking gargoyles? like the ones out of a comic book.

Greg responds...
Nope. Have you tried comic books?

Greg responds...

Yeah, that one's okay. I just wish I was wittier.

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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Revel writes...

Okay, after going through the smart ass archive I know I definitly want to meet you in LA
My favorite was the guy swooning over Angela and your drawn out response.
-Sure, more power to you........Poor slob
My thoughts exactly. There's a world outside them for walls!

Greg responds...

YES! Walls do deserve their own world.

Oh, wait. You meant "four walls" not "for walls". Sorry.

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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Todd Jensen writes...

Here's one of my favorites from the "Smart-ass Responses" section, as per your request:

<<What Would Happen to a gargoyle in space?

Greg responds...

They'd explode in the void, just like a human.>>

Greg responds...

I don't know. That just doesn't seem smart-ass enough to me. Almost to direct an answer. But thanks.

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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matt writes...

Greg, i love those smart-ass responses and it would be hard to choose one favirote, but i always thought that this one was pretty good:

-How do gargoyles view homosexuality?
-On cable, like the rest of us.

i also liked:

-After clones, superviruses, and mutates what could Sevarius possibly cook up next?
-Breakfast?

you sound like Xanatos in "The Edge" when he thinks he's lost his. i think you still have the edge in smart-ass responses, you are hilarious!

Greg responds...

Thanks. I think the cable line is pretty good. "Breakfast?" seems a bit feeble though.

Response recorded on March 01, 2001

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Jim R. writes...

So, are you in the mood yet to tell us about Lexington's mate? :)

Greg responds...

Knight to king's bishop four.

Response recorded on February 26, 2001

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Cameron writes...

Where can I find pictures of the middle age Gargoyles?

Greg responds...

I don't know. Where?

Response recorded on February 15, 2001

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I'm losing my touch...

I'm feeling like my smart-ass responses just haven't been very sharp lately.

So appropos of nothing, I'm taking a poll.

If you've got a few minutes, go through the smart-ass response archive and copy and paste your favorite one.

Maybe if you guys point out the "classics" to me, it'll help me redefine my mission on this score.



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