Greg Bishansky writes...

Here are some of my favorite smart-ass responses

Siren writes...

So Greg, which came first...The gargoyle or the egg?

Greg responds...

I did.

Why did Lex start a business?

Greg responds...

Because it was there.

Finding myself lost in that massive "Old Ask Greg Archive," I stumbled across a mention of a missing World Tour episode featuring Coldstone in the Himalayas. What would've happened there?

Greg responds...

An entire story.

Just thought that I might tell you that I was very amused (LOL), in fact, by your answer to the question about whether pigs can fly in the Gargoyles Universe ("I've got the bacon, do you have the catapult?") - particularly since I'd never imagined firing pigs from a catapult as a means of accomplishing that feat.

Greg responds...

Then you don't watch enough Monty Python.

In the episode the gathering (part 2) what did titania whisper to fox at the end of the episode. I have been wondering this for a long time.

Greg responds...

You and what army?

Oh, yeah. That army. <WAVES> "Hi, guys!"

How do gargoyles view Homosexuality?

Greg responds...

On cable, like the rest of us.

Hey Greg ^_^

I'm a huge E&G fan (Elisa and Goliath, but I'm sure you know that o.O) and I was wondering, in absolutely any way, would Goliath and Elisa EVER have kids? *waits for beating* >;)

Greg responds...

Admit it, for a huge E&G fan, you couldn't be bothered to check either the E or G archive and get your answer immediately. Instead you post a question here and wait over a month for a response that I've already posted MANY times before. Right?

Anyway, "kids" plural?

3. *DO* the other gargs need to shave?

4. If so, what do they shave with, particularly Goliath on the Avalon tour?

Greg responds...

3. Not Angela.

4. Superman checked in periodically, and volunteered his heat-vision.

What is it like for you to have so many people worshiping the ground you walk on?

Greg responds...

Pretty cool most of the time.

And then I get an embarrassing question like this one...

Well, that's enough. Other people had submitted some very good ones as well.

Mary Mack writes...

Dear Greg,

I went through the Smart-Ass Responses Archive and hunted down my favorites. I'm cold, but I'm smiling.

1. The entire "What did Titania whisper to Fox?" controversy.

2. Wing asks, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?"
Greg responds, "The world may never know."

3. "Frank Welker" makes the Stone of Destiny special.

4. Catapult + Bacon = Flying Pigs. And Todd Jensen _definetly_ doesn't watch enough Monty Python.

5. Ed asks, "What... could Sevarius possibly cook up next?"
Greg respnds, "Breakfast?"

6. "All cookies are true. Especially peanut butter cookies." One wonders if you've received some message from a peanut butter cookie.

7. The fate of the Pack Helicopter? "They turned it into a planter." Fuschias, right? They'd look pretty.

8. LSZ asks, "What new villains... would appear in Pendragon?"
Greg responds, "There's the amazing NEW GUY. He's terrifying."

9. Puck asks, "Are gargoyles realy real?"
Greg responds, "You misspelled 'really'." He did, he really did.

10. And the ever-popular, "Do gargoyles leave marks on hardwood floors?"
Greg responds, "There's a smart ass answer in here somewhere, but I just can't find it."
Joxter thought the answer was "Doing what?"
I know the real answer. Gargoyles are just like humans in that they leave marks on hardwood floors when they wear high heeled shoes. Ask any good contractor-- Ms. Dominique Destine has gone through several, I'm sure.

Okay, I'm done making a fool of myself for today. You can all go about your business now, nothing to see here.

Maureen writes...

As you may know, Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot is currently being re-aired (heh, mostly aired for the first time, 'cause they only showed 6 eps in Fall '99) by Fox. You wrote the second ep, "Out of Whack", with the rather scary subplot of Rusty being afraid he'd get turned to scrap in
"the grinder". You also introduced the Legion Ex Machina, their mole Dr. Gilder/Number Six, and picked a pretty darn cool (and gutsy!) way for Rusty to save the day. Any thoughts on this episode?

Also, are you related to Marlowe Weisman, who also wrote for Big Guy and Rusty?

Nosily yours....

Anonymous writes...

Is Jason Canmore your Mary Sue character?

Anonymous writes...

How is it that the space spawn war hasn't ended after a few thousand years? I mean both sides would have felt the results of the war that they would want to negotiate a treaty.

Anonymous writes...

Who really discovered the Americas in the Gargoyles Universe?

Anonymous writes...

Will any other existing characters that we know besides Robyn, Dingo, Yama and Fang serve a stink in the Redemption Squad?

Jim R. writes...

I don't mean to sound pecimistic, but I was thinking:

What would happen to the fae (Oberon's children) whenever our sun goes supernova or burns out in about 6 billion years? If it goes supernova it will engulf the Earth with it, or if it burns out, everything living on the planet will die. The reason I ask, is because the fae don't seem to be very interested in exploring space, so since they are immortal, what do you think would become of them? (I feel I might get a smart-ass response to this)

Jim R. writes...

Greg,

I just thought to let you know, that I enjoy reading your movie reviews. You see way more movies than I do, so reading some of your thoughts about them is interesting to see whether I would agree if I've seen the movie or not, and to see whether if I should. Ebert and you would be a sight to see...

Cleo writes...

Who is your favorite character on the Show?

Thanks!

Vanity writes...

In response to Jim R.

Sorry to sound pompous
But our sun is a main sequence star and thus will never supernova. Our sun will as you say in about 6 billion years grow to a red giant and it may ingulf the Earth or it just may push the planets away from itself repsecting the relations ship of mass to gravity. The last stage in our sun's life will be the white dwarf and black dwarf stages and by then all life on earth will likely be dead. Except for Demona and Macbeth if they haven't killed eachother by now. Oberon's children will most likely not die either being that eternal beings don't die.

matt writes...

i was wondering how far you were on the revised timeline of the series and if you planned on posting it here when you finish. no pressure to get it done or anything, but alot of your answers to questions say things to the effect of: "Don't know, haven't gotten that far in the chronology yet." so i'm a bit anxious to see it...

Anonymous writes...

How is it that the Stone of Destiny can talk?

matt writes...

would Zafiro and Una's lack of claws on their feet cause them to have alot of trouble climbing walls/cliffs? if not, is it because gargoyles mainly use their arms when climbing a wall/cliff?

matt writes...

in response to "The One":

i've been thinking an awful lot about gargoyle genetics and biology lately and i have some theories, not ideas, personal theories.

in evolution, the weak do not survive to pass on genes, and the strong do. among other things this makes most beings of a species very similar in appearence, at least from outside that species. gargoyles are different obviously, even us humans can see major differences among them, like the ones you mentioned. the reason for this, i think, is because they have bypassed evolution by not raising their young individually, but communally. the strong gargs help in raising the weak gargs and vice versa, this means that strong and weak gargs make it to adulthood to have their own children, this also means that weaker traits arn't dying off and any physical mutations that occur are accepted and continue on. generally though, gargoyles are pretty similar if you look at bone structure or DNA, its like dogs, we've selectively breed them to look different or be able to do different things, but a Poodle is virtually identical to a St. Bernard in its DNA. the fact that gargoyles don't keep track of who's kid is who's also means that occasionally two cousin's or second cousin's will mate and this may cause mutations that further vary what the species looks like.

as for the rookery generations, as Greg as said, there are never actually biological brothers and sisters among a generation, the closest relation is cousins, i even did the math and found that an uncle and niece for instance can't be in the same generation. i have another personal theory that gargoyles, to prevent much inbreeding, biologically find gargoyles attractive that are very different looking from themselves. i know alot of people would say, "What about who they love?" and i agree, but don't we all have some biological prefrences?

i have no idea why the London gargs evolved the way they did, i'm anxious to see Greg's answer to that one...

ok, i'm done with my ramble, what do you think Greg?

The One writes...

1) How do you explain the vast genetic difference in the Gargoyle gene pool? e.g. demon like appearance of the scotish breed, a lower half of the body resembling a snake in the South American, animal-like appearances in the english.

2) Why is there a particular convergance of traits in the English gargoyles to resemble animals? It seems to serve no evolutionary purpose.

3) Since the Gargoyles don't keep track on who are their biological parents and given the nature of their isolated populations, it's highly likely that the Gargoyles have inbred over successive generations. (Even in clans they refer to each other as brother and sister) Do the Gargoyles have the same stigma on inbreding that the humans do? If so, how do they avoid it?

Patrica writes...

Heya, was reading through the Garg Science section, when I came upon this thought, correct anything I say if its wrong. First I'll state what I found, then I'll sum it up with what I came up with.

Females can conceive every 20 years. It takes 6 months for the eggs to develop and be layed. Then it takes 10 years for the eggs to hatch.

Going by this, there would be eggs hatching and eggs laid every ten years. So, in the rookery, every ten years, on the Equinox (I forgot spring or fall... most likely spring) there would be eggs hatching, AND eggs being laid.

So, basically, every 10 years, a different set of females would be conceiving. It'd go every-other-10-years.

Example: Female A conceives and lays an egg. Female B hatches from that egg, 10 years later. At this same time, Female C would lay an egg. 20 years later, Female B conceives and lays an egg. Females A and B are on the same cycle, while Female C is on a cycle set off by 10 years.

Or, to put it another way:
Female A lays an egg. Female B hatches 10 years later. Female A lays an egg 10 years later. Female B lays an egg 10 years later.

Basically: Mother and Daughter alternate on the 10 years. If Daughter has a child, then that child, Granddaughter, would be on the same cycle as Mother. If Granddaughter has a child, Great-Granddaughter would be on the same cycle as Daughter, and so on.

I just looked at how many times I tried to simplify what I was saying... a lot!

I hope I got whatever point I had across.

Here's a note: It's almost midnight here, so if things don't line up well, let me know :).

Demona Taina writes...

Well, this is one silly question that I've been pondering about ever since.. well, ever since I first saw the Steel Clan. Why did Xanatos model them after Goliath? I mean, look at the hair, the wings, the face; it is clearly him. Why did he choose Goliath out of the other gargoyles?

Thanks for your time. :)

The One writes...

1) When the Magus died, why didn't Goliath try and use the Weird Sisters to resurrect him? Obviously, they had the power to keep MacBeth and Demona's lifeforce going on forever, it seems likely that they could also restore life.

2) Was the Katherine the Magus' only love? By that I mean did he ever have any other serious romantic relations or "crushes" on, and if so, with whom?

3) What was the Magus' real name? I assume he had another name and that his mother did not name him a word that's synomous with sorceror at birth.

Vashkoda writes...

Iron is obviously harmful to the fey--even deadly. However I don't understand why it is that once Puck and the Sisters were wrapped in iron chains, they followed the orders of whoever captured them. It's not like they weren't able to use magic to free themselves, as Puck was obviously able to cast spells for Demona. I don't see why they couldn't do something simple like turning themselves into mortals or teleporting away and leaving the chains behind. Similarly, I don't see why Oberon couldn't use his powers to escape from the bell (unless the bell shorted out his magic completely, but then I don't understand why this is more harmful than being in direct contact with iron chains).

Any clarification would be appreciated!

Josh Wurzel writes...

Dear Greg,

Puck seems like a pretty powerful little fae, what with the whole soul transferrence thing and turing all the humans in Manhattan into gargoyles (with help from Titania's Mirror) If Puck really wanted to, could he break the Weird Sister's spell over Demona and Macbeth? And why did he serve Oberon? Was he created/bred/conceived for that purpose? Or did he just sign up for the job? And if he did sign up for the job of Oberon's lackey, in god's name WHY did he do it?

One writes...

1) The Weird Sisters are capable of mental manipulation and coercion, e.g. MacBeth and Demona stealing the Eye of Odin, Phoenix Gate, and GA. So why didn't the Bean Sidhe simply extract the information that she believed Goliath, Angela, and Elisa through mental manipulation. Is she really fond of torture?

2) Why do Puck, the Weird Sisters, Oberon, and Titania use rhymes and iambic pentameter in conjunction with their magicks while other Oberati such as Anubis, Odin, Bean Sidhe, and the Lady of the Lake do not use such verse to tap into their magick? Is it preference or does the verse somehow enchance the effect of their magick given a certain amount of energy?

3) Since the fae can change their physical form on a whim, why does Odin prefer to stay in the physical form of such an old man?

Jim R. writes...

What was your very first job? And what was the first job that was relevant to what you really wanted to do for a living or that you enjoyed? Was it working on Gargoyles?

Andrea L. Marbry writes...

Dear Greg,
Just wanted to offer my very belated congratulations on the Starship Troopers video Roughnecks: The Pluto Campaign, coming out in March 2001 (according to Previews Magazine). Hopefully, this will be the beginning of getting out a whole lot of your work out,
including a certain other show of mine that's near and dear to my heart. Do you know who I can write to in order to get more dvd's and videos of Sony's animated stuff out?

Anonymous writes...

What legends were the Korean clan based on?

What legends were the Xanadu clan based on?

What legends were the Loch Ness Clan based on?

Anonymous writes...

Who is going to the gargoyle leader of the labyrinth clan?

Anonymous writes...

Why didn't we see the Loch Ness clan in Monsters?

matt writes...

do the pendant wearing gargoyles in Guatemala have to sleep as a human does to rest their bodies or does the pendant's magic cover that too?

matt writes...

in the archives someone asked who would be the human leader of Wyvern in "Dark Ages" and you responded, "Malcolm once the war was won." what war are you refering to?

matt writes...

i was wondering what your thoughts were on the fact that the English rid their lands of gargoyles before many other gargoyle/human relationships fell apart. in Scotland, Japan, Guatemala, and probably other clan locations, humans and gargs were getting along alright in the 1000's but the English got rid of the gargs, why? what really bugs me about them doing this is that like in many other places in the world, gargoyles were having an effect on myth and culture, more so in England than many other places. gargoyles seemed to have been a very positive influence in England because lions, unicorns, griffons, etc. all became English symbols of honor, strength, courage, and power, why use and keep these symbols when banishing the people who influenced them, the gargs? unless somethng happened in England to make them hate gargs alot, i don't understand how a people could honor a people and then turn around and banish them...

Anonymous writes...

What body parts did Jackal and Hyena sacriface for the upgrade?

Vashkoda writes...

1a) Which race and civilization (or "clan" if they were gargoyles) created the Cauldron of Life? b) Which was the Cauldron made of--mortal, fairy, or some other magic? c) If it was made of mortal magic, did the mortal energies have any adverse effect on Puck when he dipped in his hand (other than the petrification itself), or was he spared any possible additonal effect because he was in mortal form as Owen?

2a) When the Cauldron's iron was reforged into the Coyote robot, was its ability to turn objects to stone lost? b) Did the Cauldron have any magical abilities other than petrification? c) Did the magic in the Cauldron's iron really make it more effective at capturing the Coyote fae, or would regular iron have been just as effective? If the Cauldron was made with mortal magic, did these mortal energies play a part in its effectiveness as a prison for fey?

3) What did Xanatos do with the magical iron after that Coyote robot was disabled?

matt writes...

i know Xanatos used the Cauldron of Life in Coyote's reconstruction cuz it was iron and would hold Coyote the Trickster, but couldn't he have used any old iron to do this? some may say that Xanatos used the Cauldron so as not to be wasteful, but i think he really was wasting the Cauldron on something that any iron would do. so why did he use the cauldron?

Anonymous writes...

Why does Boreas resemble Highfather?

matt writes...

at the end of "The Mirror" Demona is looking out the window at the sun and she says, "I can't believe it, he actually did it. And the sun is so warm." i'm wondering, did she say she can't believe it because she thought Puck was playing games with her when he cast the spell or because she was astonished that the spell actually worked?

Vashkoda writes...

1) Have you given any thought to how MacBeth and Demona will die--if they ever do?

2a) Can you think of any specific way in which the magical bond between them can be dispelled (other than through death)? b) Can the bond be altered in any way, or are the conditions fixed?

3) Demona and MacBeth asked for the Sisters' help, and thus they were justified in magically linking the two together and "interfering in mortal lives". But once that act is ended, how can they put the two under a geis and force them to steal the magical artifacts and fight for the Archmage (I doubt they were given permission)? Does Oberon's law permit them to continue interfering with any mortal whose life they've already once affected?

Vanity writes...

Hey:
1) Does Burbank have a bad eye like Hudson?
2) Does Burbank,(after adjusting to making his own choices) like the same activities as Hudson?
3) Whose idea was it to make the clones? I don't mean YOU I mean Demona or Thailog. I mean I am sure that making clones is a very expensive and time consuming endevour and it seems odd to think Demona would be happy to have clones of the clan she hates. Of course Demona doesn't exactly think things out very well....

Solicia writes...

Any big plans for Demona?

matt writes...

RAMBLE ON "OUTFOXED"

i'll agree with you that although the animation, sound and flashbacks were really annoying, the story really carries this episode.
i remember first seeing this episode very well and i remember wondering what had ever happened to Cyberbiotics and was glad to see that it wasn't just going to be a throwaway company in the series, its like you always say, what about the reprucussions to the raid on Cyberbiotics?
Vogel really confused me, i said to myself, isn't he alot like Owen? i knew it wasn't a coincidence, but had no idea what it was...
oh, and i'm glad Goliath made a new friend, its sad that he makes more enemies than friends, but i guess thats drama for you...
Fox is pregnant!!! wow!! what a shock! i prayed for the next nine months to fly bye, but looking back, i'm glad it didn't. what suspense... geeez.
finally, the moral of the episode: integrity and responsibility. i whole-heartely agree with both you and Renard. its not easy, its "a daily struggle" and even the noble and strong like Goliath have problems with it.
i sometimes wonder what would've happened if Renaud had seen Demona flying around and captured her... i doubt his speech would've done as much for her! he probably would've turned her over to the "proper authorities" i think, that would have been fun!!! hahaha!!!

Bruno writes...

Hi, Greg,

About Angela: Right after the World Tour, what are her opinions about...

1-Macbeth?

2-Fox?

3-Dingo?

Thanks.

Shavri writes...

Hi, again, Mr. Weisman. I have another question. Was Goliath either supposed to be good-looking or not(GENERALLY speaking). I'm asking this because of your Kenner Toys memo ramble: Goliath Characteristics
* Huge, powerful, and ugly.
Then in a past rambling titled, "FOCUS TESTING" refering to Goliath: He looks handsome and noble and just a bit uncomfortable and sad.
You know, some of the show's animation showed these stark contrasts in the opinions in how Goliath should look. In one episode he's looking hot-to-trot, then in the next he's(to put it quite bluntly) pretty ugly, and then in the next he's pretty average-looking. This was one of my pet-peeves with the show. So, which is he, handsome or ugly?

Anonymous writes...

How similar is Arthur's New Roundtable to the Avengers/JLA?

Anonymous writes...

Did you plan to have any characters that we meet in the mist of avalon episodes get knighted by King Arthur?

Anonymous writes...

Are the resemblances that King Arthur has with Captain America on purpose?

Anonymous writes...

Is the next contest goinng to be another fill in the blank? If so which series? Timedancer? Pendragon?

Shavri writes...

I had a nightmare last night, Mr. Weisman, and it was about you. In it, you died, and in one of the suckiest ways, too. You fell backwards off a bunk-bed ladder and cracked your skull. It was so horrible! I saw it in slow-motion over and over again; you falling down, your mouth gaping open in a scream, then, "BOOM, CRACK," and I think there was blood coming out of your mouth when you were lying on the floor...you looked so pitiful and helpless. You weren't even that high up (about 2 or 3 feet off the ground)! I wasn't there, but somehow I saw that event (you know how weird dreams can be). I remember seeing somewhere in a comment room and on the news that you had died, and then I was flashed with the image of your horrific death. I felt so bad! I was thinking about how you weren't going to be able to answer the question I asked you yesterday, or any question for that matter. It broke my heart to think that, if a "Gargoyles" movie was going to come out, you wouldn't be there to see it or critique it; and how you'd never be able to work on another show if you were given leave to. I mean, you fall 2 or 3 measly feet off a ladder and die! What a horrible way to end your life! It must have been one of those dreams where you couldn't tell whether it was a dream or not, because I woke up thinking you were dead and how badly it sucked. I was thinking, "Wait a minute IS he dead?"...And trying to remember if someone had said you were or not. Then finally, I got over my disorientation and remembered you were NOT. Please don't think I'm crazy or anything. I'm not sure what brought this on. Probably partly because of the injury that caused Dale Earnhardt's death(a fractured skull), and that somehow incorporated itself into my dream. I really don't know why you were in it. Mr. Weisman, Dear, Sweetie, even though I don't know you personally and vice versa: would you do me a favor and PLEASE, please, BE CAREFUL around LADDERS(especially bunk-bed ladders) or ANYTHING else. Maybe you should wear a helmet or something when you climb one (yeah…I know what you're thinking, but still). If you die should from something stupid I will be VERY unhappy with you for not heeding my advice. So BE CAREFUL, please, don't make me into a psychic.

Entity writes...

Hey Greg,

Here is the link to The Gargoyles Fan Website: http://www.gargoyles-fans.org/

You can find anything you want to know about the show in terms of episodes, characters, etc. If posted in Ask Greg, I think it could be helpful.

Todd Jensen writes...

Here's an answer to the question that you asked about who was Duncan's wife. According to Mike Ashley's "Mammoth Book of British Kings and Queens", her name was Sybilla, and she was either the daughter or the sister (written accounts apparently clash on this one) of Earl Siward of Northumbria (who was, in actual history - and Shakespeare's play - the leader of the English army that helped Canmore invade Scotland and overthrow Macbeth; no doubt he was one of the relatives that took Canmore in after Macbeth banished him to England in 1040).

matt writes...

i think Bodhe was an idiot. the more i think about it, the more i think how stupid his idea to sell out the gargoyles to the English was! first of all, how does he know if it'll work? what keeps the English from continueing the attack esspecially now that Scotland has lost most of its best defenses, the gargoyles. whats worse is the gargoyles under Demona's control would probably become a huge threat to Moray and Scotland and without the gargs Scotland would fall to the English fast, as it kinda did to Duncan.
i have two questions:
1. why did Bodhe come up with this stupid idea? he had to see that the potential damage greatly outweighed all, if any, advantages.
2. what was Bodhe's plan to get rid of the gargs? destroy them? capture and give them to the English? banish them?

matt writes...

517: destroyed